But I couldn’t think like that.
Because I didn’t know what I would do if she refused to talk to me or be around me. I felt desperate to be around her.
I was following her step for step. I had no idea where she was going, and I didn’t care that she probably didn’t want me following her. Her father could be angry if that’s what he wanted, but I couldn’t just let her walk away and leave things the way we just left them.
A hand shot out and landed on my chest, and her words stopped me in my tracks. "You look desperate." Cami blinked up at me, and I hadn’t even realized she was here.
I looked away from her and back to where Josie just was, but she was still moving forward, still trying to escape me. I pulled Cami’s hand from my chest and dropped it to her side.
"Everyone is watching you chase that girl." I looked around us, and she was right. There were people pretending not to stare at me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care what any of them thought.
"I don’t give a shit."
"You should." She stepped closer to me, and I wanted to push her away. I wanted to push her so damn far away from me and chase after Josie without a single thought of what these people thought of me. "Don’t forget who you are, Beck, and who she is. You made your choice when you did what you did to her."
I stared down at Cami, and I could feel my anger pulsing through me. It didn’t matter that what she said was true. I didn’t want to hear a word of what she had to say to me.
"I didn’t post that video."
I could see the disbelief in her eyes. She believed me as much as Josie did, but I had no reason to lie to Cami. She knew my secrets. She knew that I had nothing to hide from her.
"It doesn’t matter." She shook her head. "You are in that video, exposing her to the world, and everyone knows that you hate Lucas. There is no way for you to get out of it. You are guilty whether you want to be or not."
I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to believe what she said.
"Just leave her alone, Beck. You got what you wanted from her."
"Cami, stay the fuck out of this." I shook off the instant hurt that filled her eyes.
"You don’t get to decide who gets to be in it or not. You gave up that right when you let all these people see how much you hate her and her family."
"I don’t hate her."
"You hate who she is. You hate her father and you fucking loathe Lucas.
How do you think that’s going to work out for you, Beck?" She moved further in front of me and blocked my view completely. "Do you think Joseph Vos is just going to welcome you into dating his daughter after everything that has happened?"
"I don’t give a fuck what he thinks."
"Well, you better, because you may not, but that’s her father. No matter what, she will pick her family over you. You’re nothing more than a boy who needs to fuck her out of your system."
"And what, you're just some girl who wants to fuck everything?
Regardless if they belong to somebody else?" It was a low blow, and I knew it would hurt her before I even saw the look flash across her face. I shouldn’t have said it.
"Cami, I’m…"
"Beckham." Her dad’s voice boomed between us as he slapped my back and brought his arms over my shoulders. He was smiling down between Cami and me, and I tried my hardest to school my emotions.
"Hello, sir."
"How’s baseball going?"
"It’s good. We have our first game coming up." And my head wasn’t in it at all. If I wasn’t careful, Coach was going to bench my ass, and I would be watching Lucas lead my team from the damn sidelines.
"That’s good to hear." He tightened his hand on my shoulder. Her father always treated me like I was some son he had always wanted. "We’re excited to see you all take the championship this year."
"Yes, sir." Cami hadn’t said a word. She was staring down at my chest, and I knew that she was probably still replaying the words I had said to her over and over in her head. Words that I didn’t mean to say.
"I haven’t seen you out on the dance floor tonight. Why don’t you take
my girl out for a dance?"
"Of course." I nodded and reached out for Cami’s hand. She hesitatingly placed hers in mine, and when she looked up, her smile hid anything and everything she was really feeling.
The two of us walked silently to the dance floor hand in hand, and I couldn’t help searching the room for Josie as we did. Neither of us said a word as I wrapped my arms around her back and she wrapped hers around my neck. We just began to move like we had so many other times at these events over the years.
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that." I looked down at this girl that was tucked against my body, and even though we weren’t what we once were, I still didn’t want to hurt her.
"No. It’s fine. You didn’t say anything I wasn’t already thinking." She looked away from me, and I hated myself for it.
"I just don’t understand why you’re even with that guy."
"And I don’t understand why you’re chasing a girl who you only planned on using. So, I guess we’re even."
"I guess we are." I looked away from her before I could say anything else that I would regret.
I searched the crowded ballroom until my gaze finally met Josie. She was looking at me, but she wasn’t. She was staring at my hands, where they held Cami, and my hands instantly loosened around her.
Cami looked over her shoulder to where I was looking, and I knew that she saw her too. Her body tensed, and I hated that I wanted to push her away from me. But every part of me did. I wanted to reassure Josie that she was the only thing that mattered.
But I knew that wasn’t the truth. No matter what I wanted or whatever Josie did or didn’t want, it wasn’t just about us. This room alone was filled with people who had a say in the way both of us lived our lives.
And Cami was right. I was just some guy to her.
And she should have been nothing but some girl to me, but she wasn’t.
No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. She was more than I ever wanted her to be.
I let my hands fall from Cami, and I took a step to move away from her before she stopped me.
"Don’t forget what her brother did to Frankie. Don’t lose sight of what you started."
I jerked my arm out of her touch, but when I headed in Josie’s direction again, she was gone.
And Cami’s words kept running through my head over and over as I tried to find her. I didn’t need a reminder of what Lucas had done or what I had caused. Both of those things constantly lived at the front of my mind, and I didn’t think that I would forget either of them anytime soon.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JOSIE
Today had been busier than usual.
My feet were killing me, but I was thankful for the distraction.
Because anytime I let myself think for too long, all I could see was Beck with Cami in his arms.
He had her in his arms the moment he left me. The moment I pushed him away.
"Have you decided on what you would like?" I pushed my hair out of my face and looked down at the two men who had already drunk two glasses of whiskey each.
I barely heard them as they ordered, and I tried to ignore the way the one on my right kept smiling at me the entire time.
He was still smiling at me as I walked away, but I didn’t care.
I didn’t smile back or give a crap if he thought I was being rude.
"You okay?" Allie saddled up next to me as I put in their order, and I tried to relax my shoulders.
"Yeah. I’m just tired."
"Let’s do something tonight. You need to relax."
"I have school tomorrow and so do you."