Decisions that would be so much simpler if my mother was still here.
"I'm sorry." He ran his hand over the back of his neck before taking a deep breath.
"For what?"
"For everything." He chuckled. "For hurting you, for not coming to you when your father threatened me, for what he's done to you."
For what my father had done. Beck was apologizing for the man he hated, and I knew how hard that had to be for him.
He leaned forward until he was close enough to touch me and his hand hovered over my jaw, and I knew he wanted to kiss me. But he was holding himself back.
"Beck." I shook my head because I didn't know what I was trying to say. I didn't know what I wanted or needed or how to tell him that I just wanted him.
After everything, it was just him.
"I love you." He tilted my jaw until I was looking up at him. "I know that things are crazy right now, but I need you to know that."
He looked so nervous as I stared up at him without a word. "Please say something." He searched my face. "I'm kind of freaking the hell out here."
I couldn't help but laugh at that. This man who was so cocky and fearless was looking down at me with so much uncertainty, and this should have been the thing he knew about above all else.
Surely, he had to know.
"I love you too, Beck."
The small smile that took over his lips was so devastatingly handsome,
and I knew that even though everything seemed stacked against us, I would never be able to walk away from him.
He leaned his forehead against mine, and his breathing mingled with my own. "Then nothing else matters. Not what your father did. Not Lucas, not Cami. None of it matters."
But he was wrong. It did matter.
And I knew that things would be different going forward. I didn’t know where I stood or where things would lead, but I knew that they would be different.
Because my father had made far too many selfish decisions that would affect us all.
And a huge part of me felt so bad for Cami.
Because he had no right to be with her. Even if she made stupid decisions, she was a teenager and he was an adult.
My father was an adult.
And he had taken advantage of her.
And I couldn’t just take what I wanted from my father and not have him pay the consequences for his actions. I would never be able to live with myself.
"It does matter." I nodded and buried my hands in his t-shirt. "But we’ll get through it, right?"
"Right." He kissed me then, pressing his lips firmly against mine until I could think of nothing else but him.
Everything seemed to be falling apart around me, but here he was with his hands buried in my hair and his lips pressed to mine and everything was going to be okay.
But anger still stirred inside of me and I dug my nails into my palms. "My dad…"
"Is not your future." Beck pushed my hair out of my face and stared down at me. "He doesn’t get to decide who you become. He threatened to take your future, and I believed him. I couldn’t be the reason you lost everything you had left."
Tears fell as I clamped my eyes shut, and I knew that I was crying for far more than what my father had done. I missed my mother and the security she brought. I missed being so sure of my future with her.
Beck wiped away tears from my cheek as he cradled me closer to him.
"I don’t know what will happen from here," I said my biggest fear out
loud. I had no idea what was to come. I had no clue what my future held.
"You are my future, Josie." He leaned forward and kissed me. "Nothing and no one will be able to change that but you."
"I don’t want to change it." I shook my head before burying my face in his neck.
"Good." He chuckled. "Because I’ve already fallen far too hard."
"Your dad asked me if I wanted to stay here." I had no idea why, but I was so scared to say that out loud. I was scared that I was actually considering his offer.
"I know." He nodded. "We talked about it last night."
"I don't think it's a good idea." I looked up at him and searched his eyes.
"You'll probably get tired of me if I'm here all the time."
"That could never happen." He pushed some hair back out of my face before cradling it in his hands. "Who do you think came up with the idea?
You can't go back to living with your father, Josie. You're miserable there, and there's no way in hell I'm letting you leave me."
"So, this is it then?" I looked around his parents’ massive house. "Me and you?"
"Me and you." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my jaw. "And when school ends, you can decide where you want to go to school, and I'll be here."
"You'd wait for me to finish college then come back to you?" I scooted closer to him and ran my nose along his neck. He smelled so good.
"I'd wait for you forever, princess."
THE END
EPILOGUE
You don't really realize how hot guys look in baseball pants until you're in love with a baseball player. Don't get me wrong, they've always looked nice, but now that I sit here watching Beck run home and slide into the plate, I realize that I never knew their true power.
Because all I can think about is how to get them off. Well, not off exactly, but pulled down enough that Beck can easily lift me against the wall.
I hadn't even been able to keep up with whether our school was winning or losing. All I knew was that Beck looked so damn hot in those pants, and he was far better at baseball than I ever realized.
I thought that every single time I was at one of his games. I had no idea how someone could be that good at a sport. I could barely walk most days, and here he was diving toward balls and throwing them halfway across the field.
Of course, being at his baseball game meant that I also had to see Lucas, but I tried to pretend like he didn't exist and he did the same to me. It was pretty much the only way we functioned since the moment I moved out of my father's house.
Lucas had done nothing to defend me or shield me as my father lost his mind while I packed my bags, but I hadn't expected him to either. Beck had begged to come with me, but I knew that it was something I had to do on my own.
I had to face my father and tell him I was leaving. He reacted exactly like I expected him to, but I didn't care. There was nothing he could do to me now, not with the knowledge that I held over him. I made sure to remind him
of that fact too.
I could see the edge of fear in his eyes when I told him that his relationship with Cami was to stop. I didn't care what he gave me or what power he held. I would use whatever I had against him if he continued anything with her.
He told me that he had already ended it as he handed me the deed to my mother's house. The deed that was still in my name from the beginning.
I knew then and there that there wasn't a single doubt in me that I hated my father.
And I would no longer be under his thumb.
Not as I packed my bags and carried them out to the driveway. I thought about him as I drove back to the Clermonts’ house, but I refused to let him have any power over me anymore. For far too long, I had wanted that man to be the father he was never capable of being, and I was finally letting go of that hope.
He would never be anything more than exactly who he was.
"Oh my God." Frankie stood from her seat next to me and cheered. "Olly just got a double."
Allie was cheering too, so I quickly stood and yelled along with them.
Olly looked good in his baseball pants too, but not nearly as good as Beck. But I was sure that Frankie would argue otherwise because she hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him for the whole game.