“Memorial in a box,” said McKenzie.
“When my Aunt Melissa died, Uncle Jerry couldn’t figure out what to keep and let go,” I said. “He kept most of her stuff.”
“Little doll,” said McKenzie. “Man, tough call. You don’t want to see it every day, but you can’t just toss it out like it doesn’t matter. You can’t look at it, but you can’t let it go.”
3
Stella Asplundh slid open two dead bolts and one chain, cracked the door, looked from McKenzie to me, and said, “He’s dead.”
Four black triangles tumbled into the space between us. Black triangles are dread.
“Yes, ma’am. Last night.”
“Was he murdered?”
“We don’t know yet,” I said. “It’s likely.”
The black triangles derealized and vanished.
She was wearing a loose black sweater, jeans, and dark socks. She was a beautiful woman although she looked disheveled and unhealthy. The elevator clanked down behind us.
“Come in.”
Her apartment was a Queen Anne Victorian down in the Gaslamp Quarter, once a red-light district and now a place for restaurants and clubs. She was on the fourth floor, above an art gallery and two other flats.
We sat in the unlit living room on a big purple couch with gold piping. The walls were paneled in black walnut and the windows faced north and west. I could see the darkening sky and the rooftop of another building across the street, which reminded me of falling from the sixth floor of the Las Palmas. The room smelled faintly of cinnamon and a woman’s perfume.
I explained to Stella Asplundh what we had found.
She watched me without moving. She said nothing. Her hair fell loosely around her face and her eyes were black and shiny.
“So much,” she said quietly.
“So much what?” asked McKenzie. She had gotten out her notebook and was already writing.
Stella looked down, brushed something off her knee. “He went through so much.”
“We have... we had an unusual relationship. It would be very difficult to explain. We were going to meet last night in Rancho Santa Fe — neutral ground. He didn’t show. That’s never happened before. In the twelve years I’ve known Garrett, he never stood me up. That’s why, when I answered the door just now...”
“You knew something had happened,” said McKenzie, head bowed to her notepad.
“Yes, exactly. Excuse me for just a moment, please.”
She rose in the twilight and walked past me. A light went on in a hallway. I heard a door shut and water running. A toilet flushed. After a minute McKenzie set down her notebook and pen and went into the hallway. I heard the knock.
“Ms. Asplundh? You okay?”
Stella answered, though I couldn’t hear what she said.
I stood and went to a small alcove hung with photographs and mementos. Mostly there were pictures of Stella, Garrett, and a cute little girl. A police commendation hung beside a day-care diploma for Samantha Asplundh. A master’s degree in psychology for Stella Asplundh hung next to a photograph of ten college-age women in bathing suits standing in front of a swimming pool. The engraved plate said SAN FRANCISCO MERAQUAS, PAN AMERICAN GAMES SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING CHAMPIONS 1983.
The toilet flushed again, and the door opened. They were talking quietly. Then they came back to the half-lit room, McKenzie with a hand on Stella Asplundh’s arm.
Stella sat again and stared out the window. The streetlamps went on down on Island and a car horn honked and honked again. A pigeon flashed by.
“We can come back,” I said.
“If we have to,” said McKenzie.
“No,” said Stella Asplundh. “Ask your questions.”
“It’s brave and good of you,” I said.
Stella nodded but looked at neither of us.
“Was he worried?” I asked.
“Always.”
“Enemies?”
“Hundreds. When he was a cop he policed other cops. For the Ethics Authority he policed the city government and the politicians and the businesspeople they have dealings with.”
“A long list.”
“Everybody, really.”
“But who in particular?”
She looked at me, then back to the window. “He never really told me details.”
“Some of the circumstances suggest suicide,” said McKenzie. “Do you think he would have killed himself?”
“No. He was more full of hope the last time I saw him than at any time since Samantha drowned. He came close to killing himself last July when it happened. But no. Not now.”
“Why not?” I asked.
Stella Asplundh’s eyes shone in the dark. I knew they were trained on me. “We were trying to reconcile. We had both been through so much. We fell apart. But we’d begun to come back together. I really can’t explain it, other than we once loved each other very much and we were trying to love each other again.”
“What was the purpose of the neutral ground?” I asked. “The Rancho Santa Fe date?”
“Garrett could become emotional. If he was drinking it was worse, and he was often drinking.”
I said nothing and neither did McKenzie. Nothing like silence to draw out the words.
Stella looked down at the couch. Her hair fell forward. “We were separated. I moved out of our house four months ago, November of last year. Garrett got his own place, too, because we’d sold the house where it happened. You can’t live where there are memories like that. But I still would see Garrett, because I thought it was best for him. Unless we saw each other every week, or two weeks at the most, he’d become anxious and extremely irrational. We would sit in a restaurant or a coffee shop. Maybe just walk. He just needed... the company.”
“Your company,” said McKenzie. “Did you ever go to his apartment?”
“No. Never.”
“Did he come here?”
“He never came inside. He would... I saw him down on the street several times. Looking up.”
“He stalked you,” said McKenzie.
“That’s the wrong word,” said Stella.
“What’s the right word?” asked McKenzie.
Stella Asplundh sat still in the dark room.
“Were you afraid of him?” asked McKenzie.
“A little. And afraid for him, too.”
“When was the divorce final?” asked McKenzie.
“It wasn’t. I had the papers drawn up but never had the... courage to serve them.”
After all that, I thought, she couldn’t quite let go of him. And he obviously couldn’t let go of her. As if I’d needed more evidence than his shrine of photographs.
“What time were you supposed to meet in Rancho Santa Fe last night?” asked McKenzie.
“Nine.”
“At Delicias restaurant?”
Stella nodded and took a deep breath. She radiated an intense aloneness.
“When was the last time you saw Garrett?” I asked.
“Last Thursday evening. We met down at the coffee shop and talked for almost two hours. He was very hopeful. He said he had stopped drinking. He said he was still in love with me and ready to move on with our lives.”
Darkness had finally fallen. March afternoons race by, but the evenings seem to last for hours.
“Do you know what Garrett would have said about his own murder?” asked Stella Asplundh. “He would have said it wasn’t a murder, it was a piece of work.”
I agreed but said nothing.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions, Ms. Asplundh,” said McKenzie.
“You don’t understand very much, do you?” Stella asked gently. She bit her thumb and looked away. Tears poured down her face but she didn’t make a sound. I’d never seen anyone cry like that.