He broke off, and Elizabeth asked no more. She knew very well why he had thought it odd that the woman's eyes should be grey. The poems were dated, and Egypt bore the date of a year ago. He was in love with Mary then, and Mary's eyes were dark-dark hazel eyes.
That night she woke from a dream of Mary, and heard David whispering a name in his sleep, but she could not catch the name. The old shamed dread and horror came upon her, strong and unbroken. She slipped from bed, and stood by the window, panting for breath. And out of the darkness David called to her:
“Love, where are you gone to?”
If he would say her name-if he would only say her name. She had no words to answer him, but she heard him rise and come to her.
“Why did you go away?” he said, touching her. And as she had done once before, Elizabeth cried out.
“Who am I, David?-tell me! Am I Mary?”
He repeated the name slowly, and each repetition was a wound.
“Mary,” he said, wonderingly, “there is no Mary in the Dream. There are only you and I-and you are Love-”
“And if I went out of the Dream?” said Elizabeth, leaning against his breast. The comfort of his touch stole back into her heart. Her breathing steadied.
“Then I would come and find you,” said David Blake.
It was the next day that Agneta's letter came. Elizabeth opened it at breakfast and exclaimed.
“What is it?”
She lifted a face of distress.
“David, should you mind if I were to go away for a little? Agneta wants me.”
“Agneta?”
“Yes, Agneta Mainwaring. You remember, I used to go and stay with the Mainwarings in Devonshire.”
“Yes, I remember. What 's the matter with her?”
“She is engaged to Douglas Strange, the explorer, and there are-rumours that his whole party has been massacred. He was working across Africa. She wants me to come to her. I think I must. You don't mind, do you?”
“No, of course not. When do you want to go?”
“I should like to go to-day. I could send her a wire,” said Elizabeth. “I hope it 's only a rumour, and not true, but I must go.”
David nodded.
“Don't take it too much to heart, that 's all,” he said.
He said good-bye to her before he went out, told her to take care of herself, asked her to write, and inquired if she wanted any money.
When he had gone, Elizabeth told herself that this was the end of the Dream. She could drift no more with the tide of that moon-watched sea. She must think things out and come to some decision. Hitherto, if she thought by day, the night with its glamour threw over her thoughts a rainbow mist that hid and confused them. Now Agneta needed her, there would be work for her to do. And she would not see David again until she could look her conscience in the face.
CHAPTER XXI. ELIZABETH BLAKE
Oh, that I had wings, yea wings like a dove,
Then would I flee away and be at rest;
Lo, the dove hath wings because she is a dove,
God gave her wings and bade her build her nest,
Thy wings are stronger far, strong wings of love,
Thy home is sure in His unchanging rest.
ELIZABETH went up to London by the 12.22, which is a fast train, and only stops once. She found Agneta, worn, tired, and cross.
“Thank Heaven, you 've come, Lizabeth,” she said. “All my relations have been to see me. They are so kind. They are so dreadfully kind, and they all talk about its being God's Will, and tell me what a beautiful thing resignation is. If I believed in a God who arranged for people to murder each other in order to give some one else a moral lesson, I 'd shoot myself. I really would And resignation is a perfectly horrible thing. I do think I must be getting a little better than I used to be, because I was n't even rude to Aunt Henrietta, who told me I ought not to repine, because all was for the best. She said there were many trials in the married state, and that those who did not marry were spared the sorrow of losing a child or having an unfaithful husband. I really was n't rude to her, Lizabeth-I swear I was n't. But when I saw my cousin, Mabel Aston, coming up the street-you always can see her a mile off-I told Jane to say that I was very sorry, but I really could n't see any one. Mabel won't ever forgive me, because all the other relations will tell her that I saw them. I told them every one that I was perfectly certain that Douglas was all right. And so I am. Yes, really. But, oh, Lizabeth, how I do hate the newspapers.”
“I should n't read them,” said Elizabeth.
“I don't! Nothing would induce me to. But I can't stop my relations from quoting reams of them, verbatim. By the by, do you mind dining at seven to-night? I want to go to church. I don't want you or Louis to come. Heavens, Lizabeth, you 've no idea what a relief it is not to have to be polite, and say you want people when you don't…”
When Agneta had gone out Elizabeth talked to Louis for a little, and then read. Presently she stopped reading and leaned back with closed eyes, thinking first of Agneta, then of herself and David. Louis's voice broke in upon her thoughts.
“Lizabeth, what is it?”
She was startled.
“Oh, I was just thinking.”
He frowned.
“What is the good?” he said. “I told you I could see. You 're troubled, horribly troubled about something. And it 's not Agneta. What is it?”
Elizabeth was rather pale.
“Oh, Louis,” she said, “please don't. I 'd rather you did n't. And it 's not what you think. It 's not really a trouble. I 'm puzzled. I don't know what to do. There 's something I have to think out. And it 's not clear-I can't quite see-”
Louis regarded her seriously.
“If any man lack wisdom,” he said. “That 's a pretty good thing in the pike-staff line. Good Lord, fancy me preaching to you. It 's amusing, is n't it?”
He laughed a little.
Elizabeth nodded.
“You can go on,” she said.
He considered.
“I don't know that I 've got anything more to say except that-things that puzzle one-there 's always the touchstone of reality. And things one does n't want to do because they're difficult, or because they hurt, or because they take us away from something we 've set our heart on-well-if they're right, they're right, and there 's an end of it. And the right thing, well, it 's the best thing all round. And when we get where we can see it properly, it 's-well, it 's trumps all right.”
Elizabeth nodded again. “Thank you, Louis,” she said. “I 've been shirking. I think I 've known it all along. Only when one shirks, it 's part of it to wrap oneself up in a sort of mist, and call everything by a wrong name. I 've got to change my labels…”
Her voice died away, and they sat silent until Agneta's key was heard in the latch. She came in looking rested.
“Nice church?” said Elizabeth.
“Yes,” said Agneta, “very nice. I feel better.”
During the week that followed, Elizabeth had very little time to spare for her own concerns, and Agneta clung to her and clung to hope, and day by day the hope grew fainter. It was the half-hours when they waited for the telephone bell to ring that brought the grey threads into Agneta's hair. Twice daily Louis rang up, and each time, after the same agonizing suspense, came the same message, “No news yet.” Towards the end of the week, there was a wire to say that a rumour had reached the coast that Mr. Strange was alive and on his way down the river.
It was then that Agneta broke down. Whilst all had despaired, she had held desperately to hope, but when Louis followed his message home, he found Agneta with her head in Elizabeth 's lap, weeping slow, hopeless tears.
Then, forty-eight hours later, Douglas Strange himself cabled in code to say that he had abandoned part of his journey owing to a native rising, and was returning at once to England.
“And now, Lizabeth,” said Agneta, “now your visit begins, please. This has n't been a visit, it has been purgatory. I 'm sure we 've both expiated all the sins we 've ever committed or are likely to commit. Louis, take the receiver off that brute of a telephone. I shall never, never hear a telephone bell again without wanting to scream. Lizabeth, let's go to a music hall.”