We retraced our footprints to the train. I don’t know how much time we’d spent in the witch’s cottage, but the blue moment had come to an end and the world had turned black and white. Though I kept glancing up, I couldn’t see even a trace of the Moon. But then, just as we were about to board the train, I caught the thinnest sliver of brightness, and from this I knew that our father hadn’t abandoned us, but was looking after us from the sky.
Captain Janlav led us through the day carriage into our cabins. The rest of the guards remained out, to smoke their last cigarettes, I guess. My sisters and I kissed Alina good night, not exactly eager to part from her.
“I’m fine,” she said, time after time. She even giggled. Whatever magic the witch had unleashed on her seemed to work better than any of Nurse Nookes’s potions.
We retreated into our cabins. Captain Janlav locked the doors. I lay on my bed for a long time, fully dressed, absolutely sure I could never fall asleep. After a while, the train lurched into motion. It must have taken some time and effort to reheat the engine. I closed my eyes for a moment, only to wake up come morning.
A timid knock announced the arrival of the silent servant. I felt tempted to ignore it, but that would have meant missing the opportunity to wash. I quickly got up and smoothed my skirts. There was no smoothing my hair from the tangled braids—incidents of this sort are what separate me from Elise.
“Come in,” I said.
The guard accompanying the servant unlocked the door. The servant offered me a pitcher of lukewarm water through the barely wide enough crack. I accepted it with whatever gratitude I could muster up.
I washed my face and hands sluggishly. Risking Merile’s snarky remarks, I decided not to wash further. The morning was too chilly for me to care to undress.
I sat down on my bed to wait for the guards to escort us to the day carriage. I reached for the nightstand’s drawer to retrieve you, Scribs. Then I remembered that I’d left you in the day carriage, stashed under the divan’s pillow. I imagined in horror what would happen if the servant or guards had happened upon you. One thought only eased my mind. This particular silent servant isn’t keen on cleaning.
Another knock came from the door. I bounced up, eager to retrieve you, Scribs.
When I exited my cabin, Captain Janlav had already roused Elise. He waited by Celestia’s door, the one closest to the day carriage. Merile appeared soon after, with her rats. Even Alina made it out of her cabin before Celestia. Boy ushered her up the corridor, toward us. She ran, squealing.
“What’s taking Celestia this long,” Merile said aloud, the very thing that I, too, wondered.
I thought of the witch then, of the deal she’d struck with Celestia. What if Captain Janlav were to open the door, only to find our eldest sister missing? The Moon bless me for thinking of this even in passing, but what if her plan was to escape alone? No doubt she’d send someone to rescue us later. I’m almost sure of that.
“Celestia,” Captain Janlav called through her cabin’s door. When he received no reply, he cupped his palm against his ear and held it against the panel. “Everyone is waiting for you.”
He tapped his right foot a good ten times. A flicker of suspicion crossed his face as he retreated a step and very unceremoniously pulled open the door.
I couldn’t take it anymore then, and neither could Elise. We darted after him, into the cabin. Oh, Scribs, it was horrible and horribly embarrassing!
Celestia lay on her bed, wrapped in a stained sheet. A most terrifying case of wretched days must have crept upon her during the night. For she’d bled all over the sheet and the mattress and her dress. Sometimes I get feverish during mine and suffer from cramps. But my sister’s face… color had fled her cheeks, and a cold sheen of sweat clung to her forehead.
“By the wretched days,” I muttered under my breath for the benefit of Captain Janlav, for he couldn’t possibly fathom the extent of the bloody horror that women faced monthly.
“Uh-oh…” Captain Janlav actually blushed and stepped aside to let Elise and me pass. He moved to block the entrance. The Moon bless him for that.
“Close the door, will you?” Elise snapped, kneeling before Celestia. Our sister’s embarrassment needed no further witnesses. “And ask the servant to bring water and towels.”
I didn’t quite know what to do. Luckily, Elise was in much better control of herself. She checked Celestia’s forehead for temperature. “Can you hear us, Celestia?”
Celestia turned on her side to face us. She muttered something under her breath, still half sleepy or dazed by pain. “Elise? Sibilia? What are you doing here?”
I was too flustered to reply, and so I stared at her stained sheets. Celestia followed my gaze. But rather than looking shocked or even abashed, a faint smile spread across her face. “I have paid the price. Everything is well now.”
What she meant by that, I can’t even begin to guess, Scribs.
While I was still puzzled by Celestia’s words, Elise helped our sister up, to sit on the bed’s edge. The exhausted glance Elise cast at me revealed that the dread that turned me sluggish had also crossed her mind. First Alina. Now Celestia.
The servant brought cold water and towels. Elise and I assisted Celestia in cleaning as much as she’d let us. We turned aside as she used the chamber pot, but when she pushed it under the bed, I noticed that she bled very heavily. Was this the witch’s doing, somehow? Or has my sister always suffered from really, really bad wretched days?
“Let us not keep them waiting,” Celestia said once she was fully dressed and padded up. She leaned against the wall as another set of cramps tore through her body—that much was obvious from her grimace.
“Shouldn’t you rest here for the day?” I asked. Elise nodded, echoing my opinion. “They really can’t be as cruel as to deny you that.”
Celestia met us with that celestial gaze of hers, blue as the skies, deep as the oceans. “And break the routine? Don’t be silly, my dear sisters.”
With that said, she swayed to the door and announced us ready. Our younger sisters had already been escorted to the day carriage. Captain Janlav led us there to join them.
Though Celestia insisted she would be fine resting on her customary sofa chair, I urged Captain Janlav to help her to my divan. As soon as she lay down, she dozed off. We had to practically chase the captain away. And he didn’t stay that way for long—he kept on checking on us every half hour.
Scribs, I have a theory that I’ll tell you only under one condition. You mustn’t call me silly or laugh at me. You mustn’t claim me superstitious.
I believe Captain Janlav’s fate is permanently interwoven with ours. Even if the anxiety he first felt for Alina’s well-being and now for Celestia’s is that which he feels for his own, there is more to him. Kindness that shouldn’t exist in a soldier that the gagargi has chosen as his pawn.
Ugh. I don’t want to think of the gagargi and his plans now. I will stop writing after this paragraph, lest I might run out of ink. Soon, there should be lunch. I hope against all hope that there will be dessert. Even a morsel of cinnamon biscuit would do wonders to my spirit. It’s been a miserable two days, and at some point next week, I’ll need to face the wretched days of my own, and I’m not looking forward to them. At. All.
Chapter 9: Elise
The train squeals akin to a child of iron whose limbs are torn apart, like a daughter of ice about to receive a shattering blow, like a shadow of a maiden abandoned into a lightless cave, like a glorious figurehead crafted from silver that the journey will tarnish and that can never quite be polished back to her former shine.