Something about putting yourself in harm’s way that forces some clarity on life, which never leaves you. Not even years afterward. There was the stuff that mattered and then … everything else.
Did being a big-time movie star matter? No.
But using this extraordinary and fortuitous situation to secure the future? Well, yeah … that mattered. The amount of fucking crap that came with this whole celebrity deal just pissed him off. Shaking his head in disgust, Edward leaned back on his hands and studied the churning ocean. A gull dive-bombed its dinner in the surf then flew off, disappearing into the summer sky.
What the hell was he going to do about this mess? A fucking sex tape. And an off-the-rails co-star. Goddammit.
Gideon Shaw might be one of the sexiest men alive, but Edward Banning wasn’t. Sex tapes and public displays of fuckery weren’t his style.
The embarrassment this had already caused his parents almost gutted him. Explaining to his mom that there was no way he was in the video had been the single most uncomfortable conversation of his life. Made worse once he’d understood that she’d actually seen it.
Edward groaned aloud at the memory. What could he possibly say?
Mom … seriously. I swear it wasn’t your son’s dick destroying the completely bare pussy playing second fiddle on screen to what even he had to admit was some serious grandstanding cock.
Now, his dad on the other hand … oh, god. That had been a dreadful conversation. Before he’d gotten to say a word, his father had launched into a thirty-minute lecture about respecting women that ended with the man questioning if Edward’s conscience would survive Hollywood.
Until that moment, he’d never thought of it like that … but he sure did now.
Paige was worried. After keeping an eye on Edward from the bank of windows across from the kitchen for the last half an hour, she was puttering, trying to decide when or even if she should go to him and find out what was up.
Familiar with his body language, she knew not all was right the second she saw him down by the shoreline.
He was a lot like her—the water called to his psyche. If he were prowling the edge of the blue ocean instead of lounging on the deck, that could only mean he was in clenched-fist mode.
She called it the Edward-Gideon paradox—the inner battle he sometimes fought that had everything to do with who he really was coming up against what he did in Hollywood.
With a mocking grunt, she considered what a great daytime TV this situation would make. Not that he’d ever allow such an intrusion into his personal life and not like she was serious anyway. Nobody was more protective of Edward-slash-Gideon than she was except for his family, and he’d done everything possible to keep them off the radar and far from this part of his life.
Going to him by making her way across the massive deck and down onto the sand to take him by surprise finally won out. Time for action.
Grabbing his water bottle off the counter, she filled it with some chilled to almost icy fluid—just the way he liked it—and made a mental plan.
Heading for the stairway that led to the beach, Paige stumbled over her own feet and nearly face-planted at the bottom of the stairs when her so-called plan smacked headfirst into one of her Edward fantasies.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Those thoughts were strictly forbidden, but that didn’t stop the veritable tsunami of need and want that body slammed her.
Shit. Why’d it have to be this way?
Reining in the traitorous thoughts, she stepped onto the warm sand and willed her body to behave. Something wasn’t right, which made now the wrong time to go easy on her carnal side.
Edward first. Hormones second. Or a distant third, or not at all.
It was low tide, so she had a bit of a trek out to where he sat. Overhead, puffs of white clouds softened the blue sky as birds scoured the waterline, occasionally swooping low in search of small marine life to gobble up.
Though summer was in full swing and other areas of the Malibu coastline would be teeming with beach-goers and surfers, the fabulous house that was part of Gideon Shaw’s world was situated in the middle of a stretch of exclusive properties that made beach access difficult if not damn near impossible for the public. As a result, there was barely anyone around.
Each step she took across the sand became a silent meditation.
He’s not for you, Paige. He’s not for you.
Twin reactions—a soulful anguish that came from knowing she could never cross that line and a ravenous desire—were taking a toll on her.
He knew she was approaching—she could tell when his posture changed. Even from behind, she could read him. Another thought that although satisfying left her feeling cheated on some level.
In the perfect world of her mind, instead of plopping down next to him and passing off a water bottle, she would sink to her knees at his back and wrap her arms around him. Let the man for which she had such intense feelings know she was there, always—no matter what.
When she was maybe fifty feet away, he turned his head and immediately zeroed in on her face. His relief when he saw her was palpable. She’d been correct in guessing that something wasn’t right.
Oh, Edward. Tell me what’s wrong.
And then something happened that rocked her. When the relief cleared his expression, she was shocked to find something else. Something fierce, demanding, and covetous.
Eyebrows rising toward her hairline, she was glad sunglasses kept her response from view. And then … snap … just like that, he shuttered the look, and what had seemed like hunger was replaced with a friendly smile.
Stopping alongside where he’d planted in the sand, Paige looked out at the vast ocean stretching to the horizon. She said nothing, just quietly handed off the water bottle.
After taking a sip, he snapped the cap shut with a dramatic, “Ahhh,” as the cold fluid hit his system.
“Took you long enough,” he grumbled.
She just stood there, in silence, looking back and forth between the waves and the man she couldn’t have. It took every ounce of strength she possessed not to reach down and run her fingers through his mane of thick, black hair.
She squealed with surprise when he suddenly reached up, grabbed her wrist, and yanked her down till she was left in an unladylike sprawl on the sand next to him.
“Hey!” The thundering surf swallowed her yelp. “Was that necessary? Shit, Edward!” she playfully groaned. “Now I’ll have sand in my shorts.”
She was trying to make a funny, and any other time, he would have laughed and probably attempted to shovel handfuls of sand into her pants just for the hell of it. But not today. Today, he didn’t play along or laugh at her innocent comment.
Awkwardly repositioning on the shifting sands, Paige studied him as she thoroughly chewed the inside of her cheek. “How long have you known I was here?”
He shrugged and took a second swig of water. “Long enough.”
Okay, then. “Wanna talk about it?” Seemed best just to cut to the chase.
More waves crashed along the shoreline. Gulls squawked overhead. Far off near the horizon, she made out the shape of a container ship. Two surfers ran ashore, laughing and high-fiving each other.
Paige sat there, squishing her toes in the warm sand, and waited him out.
Finally, his head swiveled toward her.
“Lose the sunglasses.”
Edward felt her presence practically the second Paige appeared in the house, and he didn’t question how that happened to be. It just was. Somehow, he always knew when she was nearby.