He’s been back from Seattle for almost a month this time. He leaves for the road again tomorrow. On-again off-again, that’s what we’ve been for the last seven months. It’s an oddly comfortable arrangement, one I would have never expected to work for me.
As if he senses me studying him, Neil opens his eyes, pulls off his earphones, and smiles. “Why are you staring at me that way, Chrissie? Are you already sick of having me back in Berkeley?”
I give him a shove with my leg. “I like it when you’re home.”
His green eyes darken. “If you married me, Chrissie, this would really feel like home.”
I try to ignore him and look down at my book. I turn a page and I can feel him watching. I look up and say, “You ask me every month. The joke is getting old. Maybe you should give it a rest.”
He grins. “I ask you every month hoping that will be the month you say yes.”
I arch a brow. “Aren’t you afraid someday I might say yes?”
He shakes his head in that lazy way he has, his brown waves doing a gentle float against his pillow. “Try saying yes, Chrissie, and see where it gets you.”
I crinkle my nose. “The last time I made a rash decision I ended up as a storage locker for your stuff.”
He grabs my book and holds it out of my reach. “I’m not giving you back the book until you fuck me.”
I reach for it. He pulls it away. “You’re impossible today.”
He nods. “Probably.”
I laugh. He’s so cute when he’s being stupid and irritating.
“Are you going home to Santa Barbara after your midterms?” Neil asks.
“I’m not sure. Rene wants to go to Palm Springs for spring break.”
Neil makes a face. “She couldn’t be any shallower if she tried.”
I nudge him with my foot. “Be nice. She’s been really nice to you lately. Don’t stir things up again. It was awful when she stomped around here, pissed at me all the time.”
“She asked me this morning when I was going to get my shit out of here. Does that count as her being nice?”
“For Rene? Yes.”
Neil laughs.
“Instead of Palm Springs, why don’t you travel with me during your break? You haven’t done that before, Chrissie, gone out on the road with me. It could be fun.”
I make a gag me face.
“Fun, huh? Traveling in a van with you and four guys? Staying in those lovely places you tell me about that Ernie Levine has you staying in? No thanks.”
“Not even to be with me?” he says, moving his way across the bed.
“Nope.”
“You’re such a princess.”
I resist as he tries to claim my mouth for a kiss. “You guys should fire Ernie. He’s a crummy manager. He books you in crappy venues. He doesn’t even try to get you radio play. And he should definitely be pushing you to record something more commercial.”
“I’ll fire him when you say yes and marry me.”
I shove Neil away, laughingly. “Go away. You’re so irritating at times.”
He kisses my neck. “Why do you think I’m joking when I ask you to marry me?”
“Ah—because you are.”
Neil surrounds me with his arms. “Maybe I’m not joking when I ask.” Then his eyes widen. A teasing glint appears. “Maybe I’m joking.” He plants a kiss on my stomach. “Or maybe it means I just wanted to get laid.”
His hands close on my hips, tugging me under him, and then he covers me with his body.
I make an aggravated groan. “I need to study, Neil.”
He gives me a kiss, and his hand moves under my dress, then his fingers are beneath my panties, and he starts to lightly stir me there. No fair, he knows exactly where to touch me to win.
He pushes his lower body into me, deepening the kiss, and teasing me with the erection straining inside his boxers.
I push into him, answering his kiss. We feel really good together lately. A subtle change between us, a strange aftermath of me fucking Alan. Neil pulls my panties off me and then he is working his way into me. I groan as his body fills me, curling my legs around his hips, holding me to him.
“God, I miss you when I’m on the road, Chrissie,” he whispers in veneration. “You don’t…” A gentle glide deep. “…have any idea…” a teasing slow swirl and pull out. “…how much I think of this…”
His words fade with the sudden thrusting of his body, and I close my eyes, feeling the build up inside of him. I kiss his neck. I run my nails across his back and meet the thrusts of his body with my hips.
I cry out, my nails digging into his back, and arch up. The shudders roll down my limbs; rippling wave, wave, and then gone. His breathing is ragged as he tries to keep himself from coming. Then, he lets loose inside me.
I open my eyes to find Neil staring down at me. He smiles, kisses me, and pulls out. He lies beside me on the bed, settling me against him. “Do you want to go out tonight? Listen to some music somewhere?”
“I can’t. I have to study.”
He rakes back his hair with his hand. “Do you mind if I go out?”
I shake my head, amused. “Why do you always ask me that? You can do whatever you want to do. You don’t need my permission.”
Something flashes in his eyes, and I flush and quickly say, “Neil, don’t get pissed. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
His eyes sharpen on my face. “Then what way did you mean it, Chrissie? How else am I supposed to take that one?”
I sit up beside him. “I was just saying, you don’t have to worry that you have a girlfriend who’s going to go ballistic every time you’re out for an hour.”
I can feel him studying my face. “You never get jealous? Not even a little? Not even when I’m on the road?”
“No point in either of us being jealous when we’re not together. It’s a stupid emotion.”
“Is it really that simple for you?”
I pretend to think it over. “Today, it’s that simple for me. Tomorrow, I might be a crazy-ass bitch, so you should probably enjoy it while you can.”
Neil laughs, shaking he head. “God, you are crazy. Do you want me to run out and get you some dinner first? There’s nothing in the kitchen to eat.”
“It was my turn to do the shopping. I forgot. Rene’s pissed.”
“What do you want?” he asks.
“I don’t care. Anything.”
I follow him with my eyes as he dresses and moves towards the door.
“Hey, Neil, let me study for two hours. Then I’ll call it quits. We can go out and kick around for a while.”
“Are you sure? I was just giving you a hard time, Chrissie. I like to give you shit, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Nope, it’s your last night here. I want to go out tonight.”
He smiles. “I’ll be back with your dinner in about thirty minutes.”
~~~
As we walk down the street toward the club, I notice there’s a line. I shove my hands into my pockets to keep them warm and I wait as Neil speaks with the bouncer to get us in.
I haven’t been in this part of Berkeley before. Not exactly my kind of neighborhood. But the club looks popular. Neil takes me by the hand and guides me into the bar. It’s a dim, smoky tomb, pulsing and loud. A lot less trendy than the clubs in San Francisco. The room is packed with counter-culture types. No college preppies here. Hardcore rockers, floor to ceiling. This is Neil’s kind of haunt, not mine.
As we walk, making our way past bodies and tables, Neil stops to slap a hand here and there, or to talk when his name is called. More than a few girls check him out and I stay close to his back, laying my cheek there when we stop in a this guy is mine kind of way.
Neil stops at the edge of the dance floor, scanning the room as if he’s looking for something. I see Josh Moss several feet away sitting at a table.
“Isn’t that Josh?” I ask, rising up on my tiptoes to speak into Neil’s ear.
He looks in the direction of my stare. He smiles. “Yep. Josh flew up this afternoon. He’s driving to Portland with me. I told him he could stay with us tonight if he didn’t have something else going on.”