I was confused, and I looked at Debra, who nodded as if she heard rich, transcendent insights.
“I don’t think any of this applies.”
“Of course it does!” Debra snapped. “This is just basic logic. It’s like food for my soul.”
I looked up at Debra, who covered her mouth with her jacket.
“What are you both doing here?”
Robert took a deep breath. “There was an incident.”
“What happened?”
Both of them exchanged looks.
“We were bombarded,” he said.
“They took everything,” Debra said.
“We didn’t have anything,” I said. “Did we?”
“I really wanted the rest of those pretzels,” she said.
“Of course.” I said. “Who was it?”
Robert shrugged. “They wore masks and made a lot of noise.” He rubbed his forehead. “It was terrifying.”
“Were they the people from the RVs?”
Debra gave me another dirty look. “How would we know?” she asked. “We weren’t special enough to go down there. At least according to you.”
“So masked people came and scared you into giving them your pretzels?”
“It’s more serious than that,” Robert said. “They wanted that house, and they wanted everything there and they didn’t care if we lived or died. They asked for you.”
“Me?” I asked incredulously.
Robert and Debra nodded simultaneously.
“But you made it out,” I said. “I’m sure there’s a million Verdell Sonobes. That could have been anyone.”
Debra nodded. “I thought if I let them see my boobs that would do it.” She started to cry. “They didn’t want to.”
“Wait,” I said. “Are you upset that they took everything or that no one wanted to see you naked?”
She angrily wiped tears away. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Guess not,” I said. “Are you sure these people were looking for me.”
“Look,” Robert said. “We made it out and that’s what’s important. It doesn’t matter what we might have lost in the process.” He seemed momentarily shaken, but then recovered. “The question is what we’re going to do now.”
“We can’t stay here,” I said. “The smell alone is just one major reason.”
“Agreed,” he said. “What have you got?”
“What have I got?” I asked. “How would I know where to go from here? I got us this far and that was due to following around Priscilla.”
“Where’s she now?” he snapped. “If she’s so forward thinking, you should have kept up with her.”
“She’s dead.”
There was an awkward silence. Robert cleared his throat and went to speak again, but closed his mouth.
“I was hoping this day would turn around somehow,” Debra said. “Something tells me it’s all a wash.”
He snapped his fingers at her. “What was that place those hooligans were talking about?”
She raised an eyebrow. “What place?”
“That’s what I asked you.”
She shrugged.
He sighed heavily. “They came into the house.”
“Yes.”
“They threw me up against the wall.”
“I remember that.”
“They threatened me with a stick. It involved my bottom.”
“I was packing at that point.”
“Dear God!” I said. I touched his arm. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
He waved me away. “Think, Debra, think!”
She rolled her eyes into the back of her head.
“Were they all women?”
“Maybe,” he said. “It doesn’t matter.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “They kept talking about a base camp somewhere,” she said. “A bank maybe?”
“Are they coming back? Did they say how they knew me?” I asked. “Bank of America? Citibank? Which one?”
“Did they say there was sign?” Robert asked. “Maybe says Bank of America.”
I stared him down, but he ignored me.
“That’s exactly what I was just asking,” I said.
“Just trying to help.”
“Maybe we should head down that way,” I said. “It’s got to be better than waiting for cannibals to come and get us.”
“Cannibals?” Robert asked panicky. “More cannibals?”
Debra shook her head. “I don’t want to run into that gang again.”
“It sounds like they were just hungry,” I said.
“Of course! They wanted to eat us,” Robert said.
“Well,” Debra said, folding her arms. “You said cannibal and now it’s real.”
Suddenly there was a light that burst through the window. We simultaneously ducked.
“What was that?” Debra asked.
“Flashlight,” I said. “I think.”
“Stop talking,” Robert said. “Both of you.”
We crouched in silence as we could hear a shuffling that came from the outside. My first thought was that it was the weird commune from below, but there were no men’s voices.
The door slowly creaked open. The three of us huddled into the shadows.
“Oh, dear god,” one of the voices said.
“What?”
The door quickly shut. “There’s a smell,” she said. “I think there’s something dead in there.”
“I’ll bet that’s what that smell is,” Robert said.
“Shhh!” I said.
“Wait,” Debra whispered. “Something’s dead in here? Where?”
“Shhh!”
“At least turn on a light!”
“I think now’s a fine time not to have any light.”
Debra began to hyperventilate. “I can’t. I can’t be in here now.”
“Please, Debra,” I said. “At least wait a moment.”
Her hand went to the top of my head and then found the door handle on the wall behind me. She jiggled it.
“At least someone turn on the light or something. I have to know what’s in here,” she said. “Verdell, you go first.”
“Absolutely not,” Robert said. “I don’t think this place has electricity anyway.”
Debra stumbled over me and jerked the door open.
“Don’t go out there!” I said.
She ignored me and shot out the door, arms flailing. Robert and I leaned up against the doorframe.
“Hey!” said a voice. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Don’t hurt me!” Debra said. “Don’t hurt me!”
“Take her down!” the voice called.
Robert took a peek outside.
“They’ve got an ATV,” he said.
“What?”
“An ATV,” he said. “No one’s looking after it. They’re distracted with Debra. We can make a run for it.”
“I can’t even tell if she’s okay,” I said.
“She’ll be fine,” he said. With that, he dodged past me and out the door, laughing maniacally.
“She’s not alone!” I heard a voice say. “Check the house!”
I took a deep breath and launched out the door after Robert. I could only catch a glimpse of him as I ran blindly in his general direction, but I saw him jump onto the ATV, which was parked behind a tree. He gestured to me as I sprinted to meet him.
I climbed onto the back of it as he started it up. It jerked forward, and I almost toppled behind it, but I grabbed his waist and held on tightly as we sped off.
It then occurred to me that I was grabbing my boss by the waist. It was weird, so I loosened my hands slightly.
“Anyone behind us?” he asked.
I looked and saw nothing. “Nope,” I said. “You’re good.”
“By the way,” he said. “I’ve got a pretty bad wound where you were clutching. Do you mind putting your hands lower?”
And that’s when things got even weirder.
We drove down a bumpy, broken road when we noticed hastily made signs. The words were made with paint, which had been smeared or faded out by the rain.