That left Kyle, the baby, the only one still at home. Whereas his brothers were broad, tall and somewhat rust coloured, displaying their Irish genes, Kyle was far more like his mother. Slender and fair, he had similar high cheekbones, appearing far more sensitive, in both bone structure and temperament. Rebecca was very musical, so was delighted when their youngest son displayed some of her musical gifts.
As the two boys walked home through the town, Kyle listened to his friend as he listed terrible ways he could pour out retribution upon the two larger sixth formers. Ricky was quite venomous in his hatred for the two boys, whereas Kyle had no strong feelings either way. He accepted that sometimes Ricky seemed to attract shit, so he just let his friend rant for a while.
Kyle did not know the two boys in question, except by sight. They took different subjects to him, as did Ricky for that matter. It was a large school, as the sixth form was very big, so there was no reason to mix with many of the other students.
Kyle hadn’t wanted to stay on for A levels. Not at this school, at any rate, but had done so to please his parents. He had no real idea what he wanted to do. Several years ago, Ricky told him he’d make a first class rock guitarist, so he had rather allowed himself to follow this with his long hair and scruffy image. His two delights were his music and art, the latter he had taken as an A level, along with French.
They stopped at a shop to look at some new CDs and DVDs. Ricky was really into X-Box games, whereas Kyle was not. He sometimes enjoyed them, but found them pretty brain numbing really.
While they were in the shop, a group of girls they knew walked past. Kyle waved, Sally Crawford, one of his closer friends, smiled and waved back. Pete and Roger were following. Roger shouted something that caused the girls to go red and walk hurriedly away. Roger and Pete laughed, swaggering into the off licence.
Kyle was watching the girls with a wistful expression on his face. His friend noticed and laughed.
“In your dreams, mate. They are far too good for the likes of us!”
Kyle frowned slightly, as he digested what Ricky said. Then he smiled, as his mind was far from where his friend believed it was. Although he was seventeen, he didn’t look it. He looked quite a bit younger, so this had made things harder, as he was the youngest in the year. He had an August birthday, which meant he wasn’t eighteen until late summer. Most of the others in his year were already eighteen, even Ricky.
Girls of his age were looking at twenty-year old boys, so he had never had much luck attracting girlfriends, although he did have several girls as friends. In fact, he had many more female friends than male. He seemed to relate to girls easier.
He smiled wistfully again, as he watched the girls walk out of sight.
“Those bastards! I wonder what they said,” said Ricky.
Kyle shrugged.
“I heard Pete Groves bragging that he had the pick of all the girls in the upper and lower sixth,” Ricky said.
“So?”
“He’s a prat.”
Kyle watched the two boys walk out of the shop over the road. They were big lads, over six feet, and broad. They were built along similar lines to Kyle’s two brothers. Kyle didn’t think either looked a prat. Pete was taller with fair hair.
Kyle looked at the boy. He was a good-looking lad, with an easy smile and relaxed manner. He was wearing jeans and an England rugby shirt. Unlike the similar shirt Kyle owned, Pete filled it and looked as if he could wear it for real.
“Just what did you do to make them mad at you?” Kyle asked.
“Nuffin’.”
“Come on, guys like that don’t beat you up for nothing,” Kyle said.
“I,.. I may have said something,” Ricky conceded, somewhat reluctantly.
“Like?”
“I may have said they were poofs, or something.”
Kyle looked at his friend.
“You wanker! No wonder they beat you up. What on earth made you say something like that?”
“Pete asked Lucy Chalmers to the summer ball.”
“Who? Lucy, the little redhead in my French set?”
“Yeah.”
“So?”
“I wanted to ask her, so I thought I’d make her think again.”
“So, by spreading a rumour about them being gay, you thought she’d drop a gorgeous bloke for a skinny runt like you?”
“Oi, you ain’t no oil painting, you know!” Ricky said with a grin.
“Maybe not, but at least I don’t go spreading sick rumours about people.”
“It could be true.”
“So what if it is? It doesn’t matter, does it?”
Ricky went quiet. Kyle realised that his friend was his seeking support and he wasn’t getting it.
The boys separated and caught the necessary bus to their homes. Ricky was still muttering about revenge when Kyle left him.
“Hello dear, good day at school?” Rebecca asked, as Kyle walked into the kitchen.
“It was okay, I suppose. I’ll be glad when it’s all over.”
“In my day we never got the study time at home that you seem to get.”
“Times change, Mum; I don’t stay home as much as some. The History set seems to spend most of their time at home. It’s all essays for them. At least in Art and French, there is loads of practical stuff to do.”
“What are you going to do with your life?” she asked, a look of concern on her face.
Kyle shrugged, and flicked his hair back from his face, in an unconsciously feminine gesture.
Rebecca gazed at her youngest son, feeling a pang of regret tinged with guilt.
She had really wanted a daughter, as poor Kyle was so different to his brothers; it was almost as if nature was teasing her. Kyle would have made a very pretty girl.
“I don’t want to go to Uni straight off. I’m not eighteen yet, Mum, I want to see a bit of the world first. I suppose I could take a year or two out, to see what life throws at me.”
“Your father thinks you could join the Special Constabulary. That would give you a real taste of life.”
“Dad has always wanted one of us to join the Police, just because he always wanted to, but never got the chance. I don’t think it’s me, do you?”
Rebecca smiled and shook her head.
“No, Kyle, I don’t. But neither of us will ever make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“That’s fine. I just wish I knew what the hell I wanted to do.”
He went up to his room and switched on his computer. He completed a French translation and then logged into his emails. Sally Crawford had sent him a picture of a really fat lady. Sally was fun, and the nearest thing he had to a girlfriend. His father thought they were an item, but Kyle didn’t see Sally like that. To him, she was just a good friend, who was neither threatening nor a romantic liaison.
Kyle logged into Sapphire’s Place. He read a new story, feeling the guilt spread through his whole being as he related to the central character. He had discovered the site by accident some months ago. It had been like a punch in the gut.
He had felt unsettled and very unsure of himself for some time. So much so, that he’d been sent to the school counsellor. The counsellor had said that most teenagers felt the same, and it was something everyone went through. However, Kyle wasn’t blind and neither was he stupid. He could see his contemporaries, so he was able to ascertain that no one seemed to be quite like him.
He didn’t know why, as hadn’t any particular feelings that he could identify. He knew he wasn’t gay, as he was not attracted to any of the boys. He also knew he wasn’t exactly straight, either, as the girls he liked were as friends, but not as potential sexual partners.
The whole sex thing was slightly disturbing. He didn’t seem to be as highly sexed as his male contemporaries. They seemed to talk about sex all the time. Indicating that when they weren’t talking about it, they were thinking about it.