“That is so un-macho; you really are a girl, inside, aren’t you?”
Kyle reddened, and shrugged.
“I get fed up pretending to be something I’m not.”
They walked out onto the patio. It was a warm May afternoon, and they sat on the swing seat.
She put the cold drink on the table.
“Who do you really want to be?” she asked.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really?”
“I want to be me, but female. I want to feel I belong with my body, and wear clothes that express my true inner self. I want to talk to people without pretending anything, and to be treated the way I want people to see me, without shame or guilt.”
“Is that all?” she asked, with a smile.
He laughed.
“It’s what everyone else enjoys, why not me?”
“Do you have a name for the real you?”
He shook his head.
“No. I buried her almost as soon as I saw her. I don’t want to be half a woman. It’s a whole person, or not at all.”
“You poor thing. Would you like to introduce her to me?”
“Not really. The shame and guilt seems so strong that it’s almost unbearable.”
“Why do you feel shame and guilt? It’s not as if you want to feel as you do, is it?”
“There are men and women. I’m a man, so it must be wrong to feel what I feel.”
“Bollocks. There are many genders and sexes. Some even have a bit of both. If you have a girl’s mind and soul, why shouldn’t you bring the rest into line?”
He shrugged, and looked at the pretty garden.
“You have a lovely garden. Is it your Mum who does it?”
“Yeah. Dad mows the lawn and digs the odd hole, but Mum does most of it. I help sometimes and so does Mike.”
“Mike’s what, fifteen?”
“Yeah. He’s away at boarding school at the moment.”
“Why didn’t you go?”
“I didn’t want to and when I was starting out, there wasn’t so much money. Mum’s parents died and left her enough to send him away. I was doing all right at school, but he was struggling, as he is dyslexic. It has helped him a lot, and I like him not being in my face all the time. He was a right little pain. Now, he’s fine and we get on much better.”
They sat in silence for a while.
“Kylie is a nice name,” Sally said.
Kyle smiled.
“Yes, it’s okay, I suppose.”
“Come on, Kylie. Let’s you and me do something about this stubborn little sod!”
Kyle let himself be led upstairs to her bedroom. It was a huge room. It was the kind of room he’d love to have. Light and airy, the décor was so obviously feminine, with pale greens and pink predominant. It was very neat and tidy, which he remarked upon.
“That’s the kind of girl I am,” she said, and then laughed. “Actually, I tidied up because you were coming.”
He stood there, feeling self conscious and awkward.
“Will you mind if I do this?” she asked him.
“It depends. What are you doing, and why?”
“I’m trying to help you to be the person you want to be. I want to set you free of your self-imposed chains.”
He shrugged.
“Oh, Kyle, you are so infuriating! Look, if you carry on like this, you’ll end up slitting your bloody wrists, and that would be such a waste!”
“It has crossed my mind.”
She looked at him, and held both his hands.
“Oh, you poor soul. It’s time we did something. You can’t go on like this.”
Kyle shrugged again. Events were overtaking him, so he felt he was losing control. He found he didn’t mind that much, and was mildly curious as to where this would take him.
“Do what you think is right,” he whispered, on the verge of tears again.
“Not with you like this. You either get into this willingly, or not at all. I just wish you could stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself, and get a grip. You can change. You can make a life for yourself as the person you want to be. But you have to want to do it, and you need to be strong! If you are all wishy-washy, then I can’t help, and I don’t think anyone else can either.”
Sally was quite cross now. This surprised Kyle and shocked him a little too.
He shook his head, as if to clear the fog away.
He looked at Sally, and she thought she saw a change in his expression.
“Sorry Sally. I know. It’s tough, but I really do want to be someone else. I just don’t have the bottle to go for it.”
“No sweetie. You just want to be you, and stop being the person you should never have been!”
He smiled. She thought he had such a sweet and gentle smile.
“Whatever.”
“What do you want to be?”
“A girl. I want to be a girl.”
“Then girl, go take a shower, wash your hair and shave all your hairy bits. We girls have to make an effort to look as good as we do!”
Kyle allowed himself to be pushed into a large spacious bathroom, and was handed a razor and a towel.
Not overtly hairy at the best of times, he shaved his legs and armpits. His face was still bereft of beard growth, so he didn’t want to encourage it by shaving now.
He dried himself off, clearing the plughole of the pile of fine fair hairs.
Wrapping the towel around his waist, he returned to the bedroom to find Sally sorting through her wardrobe.
She pointed to her stool in front of her dressing table.
“Sit!”
He sat.
She blow-dried his hair, brushing it back from his face and tying it back with a scrunchie.
Kyle relaxed and sat back and let Sally apply makeup to his face. She then shaped and varnished his fingernails. He wasn’t able to see his reflection in the mirror, and she deliberately didn’t allow him to.
“Not until I’ve finished. There’s only one person here who needs to be convinced of the reality of Kylie, so just be patient.”
She fitted him with one of her bras with nylons bulking out the cups, looking the other way as he stepped into a pair of panties, tucking his genitals away tightly out of sight. He showed her that he was not new to this, by slipping a pair of tights on with no difficulty, and then he put the skirt on that she handed him.
“It’s just as well we are roughly the same size. You’re a little taller, but that shouldn’t matter much. Shoes may be a problem, as I’m a six,” she said.
“I’m a seven.”
He was very slim and, if anything, actually had a slightly feminine figure in any case, but as he did up the buttons of the blouse, Sally restrained herself from gasping aloud.
He did not just look very pretty; he looked stunning!
She appraised his appearance critically. The clothes accentuated his slim build, yet his girlish hips and behind were in keeping with his new persona. She frowned, as his very slender waist was the real feminine feature, as he went in where most boys went straight down.
It wasn’t his outward appearance that had changed the most. His demeanour and expression had profoundly altered. It was as if a huge dark presence was removed, as suddenly his eyes shone with a new light. His shoulders were back and the new Kyle seemed to be alive properly for the first time since she had known him.
“Shit!” she said.
“What?” he asked, worried.
“Kyle, I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”
“Why?” he asked; his heart sinking.
“Because,” she said, moving the wardrobe door, so he could see himself in the full-length mirror. “There is no doubt that you’re meant to be a girl!”
Kyle stared at his reflection, his mouth slightly open and his brain in complete turmoil. He had dressed before, even putting some of his mother’s makeup on. However, he had never managed to look quite like this.
He moved, trying to see as much of himself as the mirror would allow. He kept getting flashes of crimson as his nails displayed their fresh varnish, and as he glanced down, the two gentle mounds purporting to be breasts made him feel very strange.