“They’re with Danny. If he doesn’t make it, I don’t think they have much of a chance on their own.”
Keo let out a loud, frustrated sigh and laid his forehead against the chipped railing for a moment before lifting it back up, and Lara thought, Goddammit, girl, you are one manipulative bitch, aren’t you?
“You’re putting me in a tough spot,” he said.
“I’m asking you to live.”
“What makes you think I don’t want to live?”
“Cut the crap, Keo. Don’t insult me by lying.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Say yes to coming back with me and forgetting about Mercer.”
“I can’t do that. Jordan’s dead because of him.”
“I’m sorry about Jordan, but there are other people still alive who care for you. Like Carrie. She’s been waiting for you.”
“You told her I was here?”
“Not yet.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
“Why don’t you want her to know?”
“I won’t be staying long anyway. Plus, I’ve never been very good at good-byes.”
“What about Bonnie?”
“What about her?”
“She likes you, too.”
“I don’t blame her. I’m fucking handsome, and there’s not exactly a lot to choose from these days.”
Lara couldn’t help herself and laughed softly.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, feigning hurt.
“Nothing,” she said, and shook her head.
“Besides, you’re a tough kid.”
“I’m twenty-six going on forty-six.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t look a day over thirty-six.”
“I feel it. Every imaginary day of it.”
She sucked in a deep, cool breath and looked over at the Trident nearby. It wasn’t late enough that everyone would be asleep already, so most of the crew were probably gathered in the galley over a late-night dinner and maybe a board game. In her wildest dreams (nightmares?) she would never imagine so many people putting their lives in her hands. And why should they? She was a twenty-something civilian with no military training. What the hell did she know about leading people?
Nothing. Not a damn thing. That was always your job, Will.
“If Danny’s gone, we’re going to need you even more,” she finally said. “I can’t keep doing this by myself. It’s too much.”
“You seemed to be doing all right to me. Look, you’ve even adopted an oil rig.”
“Just the people on it…”
“You stuck your neck out for strangers.”
“They had something I needed…”
“Now who’s bullshitting who?”
The girl’s voice on the radio flashed across her mind again, begging for her help…
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe I’m just trying to make up for some bad decisions. So what’s your excuse?”
“I’m just tired.”
“Tired of what?”
“Tired of fucking everything up that I touch. I’m tired of trying, Lara.”
“We’re all tired,” she said. “I’m tired. Carly’s tired. Danny, Gaby, Riley, Hart… We’re all tired, Keo. But we push on, because we don’t give up. You know who gives up?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Assholes,” she said.
He smiled. “Assholes, huh?”
“Don’t be an asshole, Keo. If you won’t stay with us, if you won’t come back to the Trident with me, at least promise me you’re not going out there just to get yourself killed. Tell me you’ll at least try to make it back, and mean it.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You can. You just have to make the choice.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay, what?”
“I’ll do my best. How’s that?”
She nodded. “Good enough.”
“Tough oil rig,” he said.
She reached over and put her hand over his. He pursed his lips and stared off at the darkness and didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry about Jordan,” she said after a while.
“Yeah, me too,” he said softly.
21
Keo
A young blond twenty-something named James led Keo to the Ocean Star’s armory, which took them through the civilian area. Kids peeked out of open doors as they walked through the hallway, and Keo saw people packing up their belongings inside rooms.
“Looks like everyone’s ready to go,” Keo said.
“Never thought it’d happen,” James said. “When Riley asked us to join him, I was pretty sure we’d all end up dying out here.”
“That’s the spirit, kid.”
James grinned nervously at him. “You have no idea how crazy all of this is.”
“Oh, I think I know a little bit.”
“Maybe, but you weren’t there in the early days, back when it was just us and Mercer. He saved our lives. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be here. And now we’re betraying him…” He shook his head. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
I don’t need to understand, kid. I just need a clean shot.
“So make me understand,” Keo said. “Why is everyone leaving if all of you owe Mercer so much?”
“Because of Texas. What’s happening over there.” James actually winced. “I want to have kids one day. Even after everything that’s happened, I want to be a dad and raise a family, and I can’t do that if I’m a part of what’s going on out there.”
Kinda late to be jumping ship, isn’t it, pal? he thought, but of course didn’t say it out loud. Whatever he thought of James or Hart or the rest of Riley’s people, Keo had to admit, it took some guts to go against Mercer.
“Looks like you guys are going to make it out of here just fine,” Keo said.
“I hope so,” James said, “because sooner or later someone’s going to figure out what’s really happening. No one wants what happened this afternoon to happen again.” James gave him a forced grin. “It’s kind of being a chicken shit, I know, just running away…”
“Hey, nothing wrong with running. Done plenty of it myself.”
“The thing is, it’s better than shooting it out with people we’ve been spending the last year of our lives with. A lot of them are still our friends. I get why they’re out there following Mercer. Most of them lost everything, and this is all they have.”
“What about you? What did you lose?” Keo asked as they turned a corner.
Apparently they had also left the civilian population behind, because the hallway was almost empty and the only sounds were their footsteps.
“Friends and family, like everyone else,” James said. “But I was one of the lucky few; I found someone in all this mess. She’s the one who introduced me to Riley, got us here. Faith.”
“Not a lot of that going around these days.”
“No, I mean, her name’s Faith.”
“Ah.” Then, “What changed her mind?”
“I guess it was me. I was one of the people Mercer sent out there to scout the state. That’s how we mapped out the towns for attacks. We knew where they were, got a good idea of their sizes, and even the best attacking options. Me and a lot of other people spent a lot of time out there hiding and reconning.”
“You saw the pregnant women.”
James nodded. “They were one of the first things we noticed. We snapped a lot of pictures, and they were in a lot of them. And that was it.”
“What was it?”
“Faith saw them. The pictures. Everyone did. But it didn’t really register until we got closer to R-Day. When the teams started leaving Black Tide Island one by one, it got real real fast. We couldn’t avoid it anymore.”