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‘Robin,’ said Midge, ‘you’d better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking.’

‘I’m pretty sure I am.’

Ahead of the taxi, a police car had pulled over beside what looked like the aftermath of a fight. A gaggle of people stood outside a bar, one man on the ground nursing his head. Broken glass sparkled all around him on the pavement.

Midge groaned in Robin’s ear.

‘Fook’s sake, Robin.’

‘Was Beth still playing the game when you split up?’

‘Not as much. I think she was getting bored of it.’

‘Well,’ said Robin, ‘that’s kind of ideal from our point of view.’

‘It might be from your fookin’ point of view, but I hoped never to speak to her again.’

‘Is there anything we could offer her in exchange for her log-in details?’

Another longer pause followed.

You couldn’t,’ said Midge at last, ‘but I could, I s’pose.’

‘I wouldn’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,’ said Robin, crossing the fingers of her free hand.

‘It won’t make me uncomfortable, it’ll just fook me off to give her what she wants.’

‘What’s that?’

‘I kept an antique mirror when we split. She’s mad about the thing.’

‘We could buy you a new one,’ suggested Robin.

‘I don’t want a new one, I hate it. I only kept it because she wanted it so much and I fookin’ paid for it,’ said Midge. She heaved a loud sigh. ‘All right, I’ll see what I can do.’

‘Midge, I can’t thank you enough,’ said Robin, now beaming.

After Midge had hung up, and in spite of the fact that she’d closed it minutes earlier, Robin opened Twitter again.

The responses to Anomie’s retweet of Grant’s unfortunate mistake were still flooding in.

Soph The Gopher @BlackHartIsMe

replying to @AnomieGamemaster @gledwell101

if that dumb fucker’s in charge #TheInkBlackHeartIsOver

Brother of Ultima Thule @UltimaBro88

replying to @AnomieGamemaster @gledwell101

#BringBackWallyAsDrek

Algernon Gizzard Esq @Gizzard_Al

replying to @AnomieGamemaster @gledwell101

Hey, Anomie, you should kill Grunt next

31

The rat is the concisest tenant.

He pays no rent, —

Repudiates the obligation,

On schemes intent.

Emily Dickinson
The Rat
In-game chats between all eight moderators of Drek’s Game

<Moderator Channel>

<10 April 2015 23.29>

<Anomie, Vilepechora, Paperwhite, Fiendy1, Hartella, Worm28>

Anomie: right, everyone here?

Worm28: Morehouse isnt

Hartella: LordDrek isn’t either

Anomie: ok we’ll wait because I want everyone to hear this

Anomie: did you all see what Grunt just did on Twitter?

Vilepechora: getting the title wrong? yeh

Worm28: josh doesn ‘t wand us to attack him tho

Vilepechora: has josh got magic powers in hospital?

Worm28: ?

Vilepechora: ’wand’. Or as you’d say, ‘ wand ‘

Fiendy1: piss off and leave Worm alone, Vilepechora

Hartella: Josh must be be loads better if he’s tweeting

Fiendy1: cd be getting a nurse or someone to do it for him

Fiendy1: hurry up, Anomie, don’t keep us in suspense, it’s not the bloody X Factor

Worm28: lol

>

>

>

Hartella: it’s terrible Grant Ledwell’s going to have so much power over the IBH when he can’t even get the title right

Hartella: god knows what the film will be like if he’s in charge

Fiendy1: he won’t be completely in charge, there’s still Josh

Worm28: Maverik should sit down with fans , and hear what we think should happen with the movie

Hartella: yeah

Paperwhite: that’ll never happen, though

<LordDrek has entered the channel>

LordDrek: sorry I’m late, only just got home from work

Hartella: hi LordDrek xxx

LordDrek: hi Hartella

Anomie: right, all here?

Anomie: ok, so, Grunt Ledwell’s title mishap just proves there’s no point playing nice any more

Fiendy1: you’ve been playing nice so far, have u?!

Anomie: it’s time to start terrorizing Grunt Ledwell and those Maverick fucks

Fiendy1: how?

Anomie: we need as many people as possible to turn up at Comic Con wearing Drek’s Game T-shirts

Anomie: show them this game’s the epicentre of the fandom

Anomie: and any attempt to shut us down will mean a massive backlash against them and their shitty film

<Morehouse has joined the channel>

Worm28: but how do we keep ruel 14 if we’re all there ?

Anomie: no names, no personal details and masks

LordDrek: sexy. Like a swingers’ orgy

Hartella: lol

Morehouse: I want to talk about the Halvening

Anomie: Morehouse ffs give it a rest

Morehouse: I think we’ve got two members of The Halvening in here and I want them to fuck off out of this game and not come back

>

LordDrek: I take it you’re referring to Vilepechora and myself?

Morehouse: correct

LordDrek: we’ve had this out with Anomie and he accepts we made an innocent mistake

Morehouse: did you fuck

Vilepechora: we did

Vilepechora: we didn’t even know what the Halvening was until Anomie explained it to us

Vilepechora: he’s well up on all that dark net stuff

Vilepechora: we think he used Bitcoin to buy the machete and taser

Worm28: how can u joke about that ?

Fiendy1: fuck u Vilepechora!

Fiendy1: a human being was murdered and your making fkn jokes

Fiendy1: Morehouse’s completely right, if it was an innocent mistake you’d be hiding under a rock after hwat happened to Ledwell and Blay but here you are bloody laughing about it. I don’t think it was a mistake

<Fiendy1 has left the channel>

Anomie: made it up with Fiendy1, eh, Morehouse?

Anomie: been having little cosy private channel chats again, like in the old days?

Morehouse: You can keep LordDrek and Vile or you can keep me, Anomie.