“This is purely a personal thing.”
“Ah! Purely personal! If I had destroyed one of your solutions would you not have allowed me to replace it? Or is it really because this is a dress … something you would wear … something intimate, shall we say?”
I could not look at him; there was a warmth in his expression which disturbed me.
I turned away from his gaze and said: “There was no need for the gown to be replaced. In any case the green velvet is far more valuable than the one for which it was meant to compensate me.”
“Value is difficult to assess. The black dress was clearly more valuable to you, since you were distressed to have lost it and are reluctant to accept this one.”
“I think you wilfully misunderstand.”
He came to me swiftly and laid a hand on my shoulder.
“Mademoiselle Lawson,” he said gently, ‘it will displease me if you refuse to accept this dress. Your own was destroyed by a member of my family and I wish to replace it. Will you please accept it? “
“Since you put it that way …”
His hand fell from my shoulder but he was still standing close. I felt uneasy yet indescribably happy.
“Then you will. You are very generous. Mademoiselle Lawson.”
“It is you who are generous. There was no need …”
“I repeat there was every need.”
‘... to replace it so extravagantly,” I finished.
He laughed suddenly and I realized I had never heard him laugh like that before. There was no bitterness, no mockery.
“I hope,” he said, ‘that one day I shall be allowed to see you wearing it. “
“I have very few occasions for wearing such a dress.”
“But since it is such an extravagant dress perhaps those occasions should be created.”
“I do not see how that can be,” I replied, my voice growing colder as my hidden emotions grew greater.
“I can only say it was unnecessary, but good of you. I will accept the dress and thank you for your generosity.”
I moved to the door but he was there before me, opening it, inclining his head so that I could not see his expression.
As I went up to my room my emotions were overwhelming If I had been wise I should have analysed them. I should have been wise, but of course I wasn’t.
Five
My interest in the Comte and his affairs added such a zest to my life that each morning I would awaken with a feeling of expectation, telling myself that this very day might be the one when I would learn something new, begin to understand him more, and perhaps find the clue which would tell me whether he was a murderer or a much-maligned man.
Then, without warning, he went to Paris, and I heard that he would return just before Christmas when there would be guests at the chateau. I shall find myself on the edge of affairs, I thought, looking in from outside.
I took on my new duties with enthusiasm and I was rather pleased to find that Genevieve by no means resented me but was in fact eager to learn English. The prospect of going to school was a terrifying one, but it was too far in the future to be a real menace. She would ask me questions about England when we went for our rides and we even found some amusement in our English conversations. She was taking lessons with the cure, and although none shared her lessons, she often saw the Bastide children on their way to the cure’s house and I believed it was good for her to mix with the other children.
One morning while I was in the gallery Philippe came in. When the Comte was not at the castle he seemed to take on a new stature. Now he looked like a pale shadow of his cousin, but having been made more and more aware of the Comte’s virility, I was struck afresh by the weakness almost effeminacy of Philippe.
But his smile was very friendly as he asked how the work was progressing.
“You are skilful,” he commented when I showed him.
“It is care that is needed as much as skill.”
“And expert knowledge.” He was standing before the picture I had restored.
“One has the feeling that one could put out a hand and touch those emeralds,” he said.
“The skill of the painter, not the restorer.”
He continued to gaze wistfully at the picture and once more I sensed his deep love for the chateau and everything connected with it. That was how I should feel were I a member of such a family.
Turning suddenly and catching my eyes on him, he looked faintly embarrassed as though he were wondering whether he should say what was in his mind. Then he said quickly: “Mademoiselle Lawson, are you happy here?”
“Happy? I find the work very satisfying.”
“The work, yes. I know how you feel about that. I was thinking of.. ” He made a gesture with his hand.
‘... the atmosphere here . the family. ” I looked surprised and he went on: ” There was that unfortunate affair of the dress. “
“It is all forgotten now.” I wondered whether my face betrayed my pleasure as I thought of the green dress.
“In a household like this one …” He stopped as though he did not know how to go on.
“If you found it intolerable here …” he went on hurriedly, ‘if you wished to leave . “
To leave! “
“I meant if it became difficult. My cousin might… er …” He abandoned what he had been going to say, but I knew he was thinking, as I was, of the green velvet dress and the fact that the Comte had given it to me. He saw something significant in that. But it was evidently too dangerous to discuss. How he feared his cousin! He smiled brightly.
“A friend of mine has a fine collection of pictures and some are in need of restoration. They could keep you busy for a long time, I have no doubt.”
“It will be a long time before I finish here.”
“My friend. Monsieur de la Monelle, needs his pictures restored immediately. I thought that if you were unhappy here … or you felt you would like to get away …”
“I have no wish to leave this work.”
He looked alarmed, fearful that he had said too much.
“It was only a suggestion.”
“You are very kind to be so concerned.”
His smile was very charming.
“I feel responsible. On that first occasion I could have sent you away.”
“But you didn’t. I appreciate that.”
“Perhaps it would have been better.”
“Oh no! I find the work here absorbing.”
“It’s a wonderful old place.” He spoke almost eagerly.
“But it is not the happiest of households, and in view of what happened in the past. My cousin’s wife died, you know, in rather mysterious circumstances.”
“I have heard that.”
“And my cousin can be rather ruthless in getting what he wants. I shouldn’t have said that. He has been good to me. I am here … it is now my home … thanks to him. It is only that I have this feeling of responsibility towards you and I would like you to know that if you did need my help … Mademoiselle Lawson, I hope you will say nothing of this to my cousin.”
“I understand. I shan’t mention it.”
“But please bear in mind: if my cousin … if you should feel you ought to get away, please come to me.”
He went to one of the paintings and asked questions about it, but I did not think he was paying attention to the answers.
When his eyes met mine they were rather shy, diffident, but very warm.
He was certainly anxious on my behalf and I understood that he was warning me about the Comte.
I felt I had a good friend in the chateau.
Christmas was almost upon us. Genevieve and I were riding every day and there was a marked improvement in her English. I told her of our Christmases in England and how we brought in the holly and the mistletoe; how we kissed under the mistletoe; how everyone had to have a stir at the Christmas puddings and what a great day it was when they were boiling and we hauled out the tiny basin, with the ‘taster’ in it. What an important moment that was when we each had our spoonful, for the taster was an indication of what the whole boiling of puddings would be.