The Knife of Never Letting Go

And his Noise opens up to me, loud as thunder.

My eyes widen.

My stomach sinks to my feet.

My shoulders hunch down as I feel weakness on me.

I can see it. It’s a fantasy, a lie, but the lies of men are as vivid as their truths and I can see every bit of it.

He was going to murder Ben.

That’s how he was going to force me to kill him. That’s how they woulda done it. To perfect their army and make me a killer, they were going to murder Ben.

And make me watch.

Make me hate enough to kill Aaron.

My Noise starts to rumble, loud enough to hear. “You effing piece of–”

“But then God sent a sign,” Aaron says, looking at Viola, his eyes even wider now, the blood pouring from the gash, the hole where his nose used to be stretching taut. “The girl,” he says. “A gift from the heavens.”

“Don’t you look at her!” I yell. “Don’t you even look at her!”

Aaron turns back to me, the smile still there. “Yes, Todd, yes,” he says. “That’s yer path, that’s the path you’ll take. The boy with the soft heart, the boy who couldn’t kill. What would he kill for? Who would he protect?”

Another step back, another step nearer the tunnel.

“And when her cursed, evil silence polluted our swamp, I thought God had sent me a sacrifice to make myself, one last example of the evil that hides itself which I could destroy and purify.” He cocks his head. “But then her true purpose was revealed.” He looks at her and back at me. “Todd Hewitt would protect the helpless.”

“She ain’t helpless,” I say.

“And then you ran.” Aaron’s eyes widen, as if in false amazement. “You ran rather than fulfil yer destiny.” He lifts his eyes to the church again. “Thereby making victory over you all the sweeter.”

“You ain’t won yet,” I say.

“Haven’t I?” He smiles again. “Come, Todd. Come to me with hate in yer heart.”

“I will,” I say. “I’ll do it.”

But another step back.

“You’ve been near before, young Todd,” Aaron says. “In the swamp, the knife raised, me killing the girl, but no. You hesitate. You injure but you do not kill. And then I steal her from you and you hunt her down, as I knew you would, suffering from the wound I gave you, but again, not enough. You sacrifice yer beloved dog rather than see her come to harm, you let me break his very body rather than serve yer proper purpose.”

“You shut up!” I say.

He holds his palms up to me.

“Here I am, Todd,” he says. “Fulfil yer purpose. Become a man.” He lowers his head till his eyes are looking up at me. “Fall.”

I curl my lip.

I stand up straighter.

“I already am a man,” I say.

And my Noise says it, too.

He stares at me. As if staring thru me.

And then he sighs.

Like he’s disappointed.

“Not yet a man,” he says, his face changing. “Perhaps not ever.”

I don’t step back.

“Pity,” he says.

And he leaps at me–

“Todd!” Viola yells–

“Run!” I scream–

But I’m not stepping back–

I’m moving forward–

And the fight is on.

I’m charging at him and he’s throwing himself at me and I’m holding the knife but at the last second, I leap to the side, letting him slam hard into the wall–

He whirls around, face in a snarl, swinging an arm round to hit me and I duck and slash at it with the knife, cutting across his forearm, and it don’t even slow him down–

And he’s swinging at me with his other arm and he’s catching me just under the jaw–

Knocking me back–

“Todd!” Viola calls again–

I tumble backwards onto the last pew, falling hard–

But I’m looking up–

Aaron’s turning to Viola–

She’s at the bottom of the stairs–

“Go!” I yell–

But she’s got a big flat stone in her hands and launches it at Aaron with a grimace and an angry grunt and he ducks and tries to deflect it with one hand but it catches him cross the forehead, causing him to stumble away from both her and me, towards the ledge, towards the front of the church–

“Come on!” Viola yells to me–

I scramble to my feet–

But Aaron’s turned, too–

Blood running down his face–

His mouth open in a yell–

He jumps forward like a spider, grabbing Viola’s right arm–

She punches fiercely with her left hand, bloodying it on his face–

But he don’t let go–

I’m yelling as I fly at them–

Knife out–

But again I turn it at the last minute–

And I just knock into him–

We land on the upslope of the stairs, Viola falling back, me on top of Aaron, his arms boxing my head and he reaches forward with his horrible face and takes a bite out of an exposed area of my neck–

I yell and jerk back, punching him with a backhand as I go–

Scooting away from him back into the church, holding my neck–

He comes at me again, his fist flying forward–

Catching me on the eye–

My head jerks back–

I stumble thru the rows of pews, back to the centre of the church–

Another punch–

I raise my knife hand to block it–

But keep the knife edge sideways–

And he hits me again–

I scrabble away from him on the wet stone–

Up the aisle towards the pulpit–

And a third time his fist reaches my face–

And I feel two teeth tear outta their roots–

And I nearly fall–

And then I do fall–

My back and head hitting the pulpit stone–

And I drop the knife.

It clatters away towards the edge.

Useless as ever.

“Yer Noise reveals you!” Aaron screams. “Yer Noise reveals you!” He’s stepping forward to me now, standing over me. “From the moment I stepped into this sacred place, I knew it would be thus!” He stops at my feet, staring down at me, his fists clenched and bloody with my blood, his face bloody with his own. “You will never be a man, Todd Hewitt! Never!”

I see Viola outta the corner of my eye frantically looking for more rocks–

“I’m already a man,” I say, but I’ve fallen, I’ve dropped the knife, my voice is faltering, my hand over the bleeding from my neck.

“You rob me of my sacrifice!” His eyes have turned to burning diamonds, his Noise blazing a red so fierce it’s practically steaming the water away from him. “I will kill you.” He bows his head to me. “And you will die knowing that I killed her slowly.”

I clench my teeth together.

I start to pull myself to my ruddy feet.

“Come on if yer coming,” I growl.

Aaron yells out and takes a step towards me–

Hands reaching out for me–

My face rising to meet him–

And Viola CLUMPS him on the side of the head with a rock she can barely lift–

He stumbles–

Leaning towards the pews and catching himself–

And he stumbles again–

But he doesn’t fall.

He doesn’t ruddy fall.

He staggers but he stands, twixt me and Viola, uncurling himself, his back to Viola but towering over her, a whole rivulet of blood spouting from the side of his head now, but he’s effing well tall as a nightmare–

He really is a monster.

“You ain’t human,” I say.

“I have told you, young Todd,” he says, his voice low and monstrous, his Noise glowering at me with a fury so pure it nearly knocks me back. “I am a saint.”

He lashes his arm out in Viola’s direkshun without even looking her way, catching her square on the eye, knocking her back as she calls out and falls falls falls, tripping over a pew, hitting her head hard on the rocks–