PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT It has only reduced resistance to the dishonesty of professors! (Loud cries of indignation.)
FIRST VOICE Troublemaker!
SECOND VOICE Throw him out!
THIRD VOICE Call the police!
PRESIDENT OF THE MEDICAL BOARD OF GREATER BERLIN This outrage provides me with an opportunity to raise my voice in an urgent appeal. Esteemed colleagues! You are father confessors to your patients, it is your patriotic duty to encourage them, by word of mouth or in any other explanatory or instructive way, to hold on to the bitter end! You must take the most resolute stand against the fainthearted! Reject any unfounded, adverse rumours, such as are often spread maliciously or by careless talk! We on the Home Front can hold on to the bitter end, we must and shall see it through! Esteemed colleagues! The simple life and simple fare, a moderate intake of protein and fat, have been to the benefit to many!
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT To the benefit of black-marketeers and doctors! (Cries of “Disgraceful!” and “Throw him out!”)
PRESIDENT OF THE MEDICAL BOARD OF GREATER BERLIN School doctors have proved conclusively—
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT —that Germany has been successfully fed lies! (Boos.)
PRESIDENT OF THE MEDICAL BOARD OF GREATER BERLIN —that the health of the very young today is no worse than before.
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT Infant mortality has only increased by 37 percent! (Cries of “Shut your trap!” and “Unpatriotic rascal!”)
PRESIDENT OF THE MEDICAL BOARD OF GREATER BERLIN Infant mortality has fallen. An eminent expert recently established that our infants have never had it so good. (Cries of “Hear, hear!”) Hospitals are less crowded than before.
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT Because they’re all dead! (Commotion.)
FIRST VOICE Prove it, you bastard!
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT Doctors’ reports from many hospitals sound desperate when they describe starving inmates trying to allay their hunger pangs by forcing down discarded cabbage stalks and all sorts of indigestible stuff. When a hospital for incurables had to submit a report, it stated laconically: “All our inmates have died.”—But you, who are alive and gathered here today for your expert opinions, are under orders, and will pluck up courage to tell the truth only after the unavoidable collapse of the Lie which is the German Reich! But that will be too late, and no amount of confessing will save you from contempt in the eyes of the world. For German science has prostituted itself, and German scientists are its pimps! Those gathered here under orders from the General Staff, to serve the Great Lie by disputing infant mortality figures and arguing black is white, have more blood on their hands than those who stained the battlefield red! The 93 who signed the Manifesto, chanting “It’s not true!” and “We protest!”—whose protest opened the emotional floodgates of the Lie and stained the honour of Germany — these people have led German culture even further astray from the legacy of a Goethe, a Kant, and all its other luminaries than even those who compel them to lie — the romantic arsonists and murderers. In the hands of such physicians the world, fearful of being infected by Teutonism, will certainly not recover its health. Add professors to aggressors — as the poet says — and the Fatherland is lost! (A tumultuous outcry. Shouts of “It’s not true!” and “We protest!” Some of the professors want to lay hands on the Patient, others restrain them.)
PSYCHIATRIST Gentlemen! We have just witnessed the most savage outburst of hatred of our Fatherland, a hatred that cannot possibly have its roots in German soil. The reaction of the patient to the experiments of our esteemed colleagues Boas, Zuntz, and Rosenfeld from Breslau, and especially to the profound and illuminating exposition of our revered President of the Medical Board of Greater Berlin, for which I owe him a heartfelt collegiate debt of gratitude — the patient’s reaction, I say, has made it crystal clear that the man is not of unsound mind, but in the pay of the Entente! We are dealing here with an acute case of Northcliffe propaganda, and medical practitioners in Greater Berlin in particular are duty-bound to stop it spreading. The poison of pacifism has already found its pernicious way even into healthy minds, and the exaggerated idealism of opponents of the war encourages wimps and shirkers in behaviour as dire as any afflicting the German body politic. Add to that the criminal propaganda of our enemies, and the resulting state of the nation will soon tend to paralyse our great enterprise on the very threshold of final victory. It is this spirit of defeatism which bolsters the backbone of our enemies and clips our wings in this defensive war, forced upon us by British envy (Heckler: “A nation of shopkeepers!”), French revanchism (Cries of “And Russian rapacity!”) — and Russian rapacity. Here we have a typical case. I can only stress that I thought from the start that he was a dubious character, and I am now convinced we are dealing with a hardened criminal. Those were not the words of a mentally sick person, gentlemen, those were the words of a traitor! Further, gentlemen, I can reveal that while in protective custody the man’s unrepentant behaviour, his continued outrageous attacks against everything we Germans hold sacred, even extended to a derogatory remark about the official German News Agency (Agitation) which attracted attention in the highest circles, and that a personality whom we all revere (Those assembled rise) — our Crown Prince — even declared that someone should knock the living daylights out of him. (Cries of “Hurrah!”) The decision whether such a remedy might be implemented, perhaps as a way of increasing the penalty, lies with the highest authority in these matters. Our role, gentlemen, is to declare that the case clearly lies outside our competence, since it is of no concern to medical science, and to transfer custody to the appropriate criminal authorities. (He opens the door and shouts) Constable!
CONSTABLE BUDDICKE (enters) In the name of the Law — quick march off to the clink!
(Exit with the Patient. The assembly rises and strikes up “The Watch on the Rhine.”)
(Change of scene.)
Scene 8
Weimar. Gynaecological clinic.
PROFESSOR HENKEL No one else needs operating on, then? His Highness will be here in a minute, and I promised him — I wanted to give him a chance to witness an operation at first hand. Well?
PROFESSOR BUSSE There’s no one.
HENKEL But we have to operate on someone.
PROFESSOR BUSSE There isn’t anyone.
HENKEL But you do have another patient. Bring her in.
BUSSE But — she’s just had her breakfast.
HENKEL No matter. (The patient is brought in. To an assistant) Prepare her for surgery and pump out her stomach.
PATIENT (resists, in a state of great agitation) No — no — I—don’t want to—
HENKEL Stop making a fuss. She’ll disgrace me in front of His Highness! (Enter the Prince of Lippe with entourage. Welcoming ceremony. The operation begins.) It’s going very nicely, Highness — there — that’s it—
NURSE (tugs sleeve of assistant) Oh — my God—
HENKEL What’s up? (The assistant administers a camphor injection.)
ASSISTANT Professor, sir—
HENKEL (dismissively) Shush—
PRINCE OF LIPPE (to Henkel) You operated quite splendidly, I’ll inform my sister at once.