PRUSSIAN LIEUTENANT (appears in the doorway and calls back over his shoulder) The Russkis can just hold their horses, they’ll know soon enough what’s hit ’em! (Storms into the room without saluting, goes straight up to the general, looking him hard in the eye:) So tell me, Excellency, why you Austrians couldn’t getta grip on this crummy little pass on your own? (Exit.)
GENERAL (stands for some time in a daze) Well, what was — what was all that about? (Turns to those around him.) You see, gentlemen — what bravado, and more importantly — what organization!
(Change of scene.)
Scene 28
Headquarters. Cinema. In the front row, the commander in chief, Archduke Friedrich. Beside him his guest, King Ferdinand of Bulgaria. A Sasha film is being shown, every image depicting the effect produced by mortars. Smoke can be seen rising and soldiers falling. The sequence is repeated 14 times over an hour and a half. The military viewers are giving it their professional attention. Not a sound can be heard. Only every time the image shows the mortar producing its effect, there can be heard from the front row the word:
Ka-boom!
(Change of scene.)
Scene 29
Optimist and Grumbler in conversation.
OPTIMIST So, in your opinion, what would constitute a hero’s death?
GRUMBLER A chance misfortune.
OPTIMIST That would be a fine thing, if the Fatherland thought like you do!
GRUMBLER That’s what the Fatherland does think.
OPTIMIST What, it calls a hero’s death a misfortune? Pure chance?
GRUMBLER Almost. It calls it a grievous stroke of fate.
OPTIMIST Who does? Where? No list of military casualties ever omits to speak of soldiers being privileged to die for the Fatherland, and even the humblest private individual, who otherwise might well have spoken of a grievous stroke of fate, will invariably take a certain pride in announcing in simple words that his son died a hero’s death. Look, here’s an example for instance, in today’s Neue Freie Presse.
GRUMBLER So I see. But turn back a few pages. Yes, there. The Chief of the General Staff Conrad von Hötzendorf thanks the mayor for his condolences following “the grievous stroke of fate” inflicted on him by the death of his son, killed in action. That’s how he put it in the obituary as well. You’re quite right, every little shopkeeper whose son has been killed in action poses as a hero’s father — as officially prescribed. But the Chief of the General Staff drops the mask and reverts to the traditional simple sentiment — one justified in this, of all deaths — using the conventional yet enduring formula. A Bavarian princess congratulates a relative on his son’s heroic death — on that elevated social plane, one is almost expected to play the virago. The Chief of our General Staff not only accepts condolences, but repeatedly bewails the cruelty of fate. The man who is, after all, rather more closely connected to this fate than all the rest of them — more than the soldiers who may be on the receiving end, more than the fathers of the soldiers who can only lament it — the man who may not be its author, perhaps, but at least its director, and if that’s too much, then let’s say its stage manager or prompter — this is the man who talks of a grievous stroke of fate. He speaks the truth, all the others must tell lies. His personal pain helped him escape from obligatory heroism. The others remain its prisoner. They must tell lies.
OPTIMIST No, they don’t tell lies. People are passionately moved by the hero’s death, and the nation’s sons feel intoxicated by the prospect of dying on the field of honour.
GRUMBLER The mothers too, alas, who might have saved this generation from such infamy, but have renounced their right to do so.
OPTIMIST Because they were not yet ready for your subversive ideas. And the Fatherland itself even less so. It’s self-evident that those in charge must think as patriots. The instance you mentioned is fortuitous. Baron Conrad simply wrote the conventional phrase. He let something slip—
GRUMBLER Yes, a real feeling.
OPTIMIST In any case, that instance proves nothing. There’s something different I want to show you that is more persuasive, and totally supportive of my view. Even you will have to acknowledge the evidence—
GRUMBLER For what?
OPTIMIST For the well-nigh miraculous unity, for this solidarity in our communal suffering, with all the social classes competing to—
GRUMBLER Get to the point!
OPTIMIST Here — wait, I must read it out to you, I want to be sure you don’t miss a word: “An announcement by the War Ministry. The Telegraphic Communications Bureau reports: The Royal and Imperial War Ministry has declared the 18th August of the current year a special holiday for all personnel employed in concerns charged with the production and development of munitions and other essential equipment. The War Ministry takes this opportunity to pay tribute to the exceptional devotion to duty and the untiring efforts of all those workers who, by the fruits of their labour, have helped our incomparably brave troops to win the sublime victor’s laurels with death-defying courage.” Well?
(The Grumbler remains silent.)
You’re at a loss for words, it seems. The Social-Democratic press prints it under the proud headline: “Recognition for the achievements of the workforce.” How many of these workers may be unhappy that they only get one day off as a reward, even if it is the Emperor’s birthday—
GRUMBLER If you say so.
OPTIMIST —instead of having the satisfaction granted them of being relieved of factory work altogether—
GRUMBLER Just so.
OPTIMIST —and at long last offered the opportunity to take the munitions they merely produce in the factory and try them out at the front! The stout fellows must be inconsolable that they merely support their fellow countrymen and class comrades with the fruits of their labour and are not permitted to join them with their own death-defying courage. The chance to get to the front, the highest distinction a mortal man can—
GRUMBLER Mortality seems to be the quality most in demand. So it’s your opinion that being drafted to the front is felt to be the highest reward — felt by the person so drafted, that is?
OPTIMIST Yes, I do think that.
GRUMBLER That may well be. But do you also think it is bestowed as the highest reward?
OPTIMIST I’m sure of it! You seem to be at a loss for words.
GRUMBLER Just so. That’s why I must resort to the text of a public announcement, rather than respond in my own words. I shall read it out to you, I want to be sure you don’t miss a word.
OPTIMIST From a newspaper?
GRUMBLER No, it’s unlikely it could be published. All you would see would be a blanked-out space. But it’s been posted in those factories that benefit from being under government protection, and have consequently managed to dispel any unrest in the workforce.
OPTIMIST But you’ve heard how passionately committed the workforce is to the war effort, and restless at most because it cannot participate in some other way. When even the War Ministry itself recognizes its dedication—
GRUMBLER You seem to want to spell out what left me speechless. Rather let the War Ministry speak for itself: “14th June 1915. It has been brought to the attention of the War Ministry that the behaviour of workers in a great number of factories operating under the War Production Law is extremely unsatisfactory in respect of discipline and morale. Insubordination, insolence, disobedience towards works managers and foremen, passive resistance, malicious damage of machinery, unauthorized absenteeism, et cetera, are offences against which even the instigation of penal proceedings have in many instances proved ineffective—”