FACTORY OWNER (sighing) The mine owners have it made! They can keep going!
MILITARY SUPERVISOR Yes, but nowadays you other employers aren’t exactly unprotected either. The foremen see to that! They know how to give a good clip round the ear. Six hours daily in handcuffs, that’s what I always hand out to those in detention. And when they’re marched straight from the factory through the streets at the point of a bayonet — that sets the right example! No shower beforehand, their head shaved once they’re brought in, even if it’s only a 24-hour stretch, the cost of food deducted from their wages — even if they only have to go from Floridsdorf to Josefstadt to report, that’s half a day’s pay gone, without even counting the lost wages when they’re detained, and such like, and then, to top it all — if only for the more serious cases — compulsorily enlisted! So you see, none of the employers ever had anything to complain about!
FACTORY OWNER Listen, you won’t find me complaining. It’s well known I don’t bother the military authorities except in an emergency. I prefer to take care of things myself. What I say is: as long as kindness does the trick — (he points to his dog whip.)
(Change of scene.)
Scene 33
Room in Hofrat Schwarz-Gelber’s house. Late evening. Enter Hofrat and Hofrätin Schwarz-Gelber.
HIM (breathing heavily) Thank God, sound the trumpets, made it — aah—
HER What a drama, playing the martyr.
HIM That’s the last time — rest assured — the last time!
HER And the last time for me, too — with you! You can bet your life on that! (She begins to get undressed. He sinks into an armchair, rests his head in his hands, jumps up again and paces around the room.)
HIM Why — please tell me — the one thing I want to know: why oh why did God curse me with you — why did it have to be me that has to live this life? — why couldn’t it have been someone else?! — I’ve strained every sinew from dawn to dusk — for you — you’re killing me with your war welfare — your charity committees and branch offices and all the rest of it, concerts and sewing-bees and tea salons and twiddling your thumbs at meetings, and hospitals, day after day hospitals — God, what sort of life is that! — (going over to her aggressively) what — what more do you want from me — isn’t it ever enough — I–I — I’m not a well man — I’m not — in good health—
HER (screeching) Why are you kvetching at me? Me force you? It’s you who are forcing me! If only I’d a single day’s rest from you! — I — didn’t I have to schlep you up and down till they said: give us a break — and made you vice president! You think they’re queuing up for you? It’s me you have to thank for it — if I hadn’t been hanging on to Professor Exner’s coattails the whole time — God, how I had to twist his arm — I’ll tell you what you are! An idealist, that’s what you are! You think you’d have got where you are today any other way! Which what way? Your handsome mug, eh? Your oily smarm, perhaps? Just so you know, it’s me you have to thank for your whole career, me, me, me — Liharzik is dead — you could be today where he was, you could be anywhere — but you’re a dishrag! You, of all people, you’re handed things on a plate — I give you a push and you don’t budge an inch — you dream your pipe dreams but you haven’t got the chutzpah to nail it!
HIM For God’s sake, lay off — shut your gob — with my social status — I’m risking enough—
HER Don’t give me that shtick about status, we’ve gotta get moving. Your status-matus! Who d’ya think you are? I made all the running for your status! I did the legwork! Was it for my own sake? Was it for my sake I ran from pillar to post? Get real!
HIM What else?
HER Oh, stop kvetching I can’t stand the sight of you! You know it’s all baloney. My God, you hounded me to be in one place one day and somewhere else the next — always hassling me — if Grünfeld was giving a piano recital, I had to make a speech — the things I had to put up with — I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, was it a meeting at Countess Berchtold’s or tea with Countess Bienerth; I thought the flower parade was for promoting sponsorship rather than in aid of the refugees, then there was that Korngold première, and a constant stream of funerals and prize races, the Iron Warrior and his Shield, and when they suggested a presentation war goblet, you were thrilled right away, in all these years I’ve never seen you like that before, you insisted on being involved from the start, said it wouldn’t work without you, I said leave me out of it, but no, you hounded me, you literally pushed me to go to all those teas and committees, you tortured me over laurels for our heroes, so I went chasing all round the shop, nothing but charity events, in aid of this, in aid of that, in aid of who else, I ask you, but you? Give me a break! And when I think back on today — God — traipsing from one hospital to the next — all for what? All for what? Ingratitude!
HIM For Heaven’s sake, now you stop kvetching! To hear you talk, anyone would wonder if you know what it means to love thy neighbour. It makes me puke—
HER It makes you puke! Can I help it if they overlooked you today? I swear to you, I schmoozed the War Welfare commissioner, I told him, when they come, he should see to it that we get places right at the front, since we were unlucky last time, at the last minute I gave him another nudge, he knows I’ve got some pull with Hirsch — he hasn’t mentioned him in the Neue Freie Presse for some time — I did everything possible, I was standing almost next to Princess Blanka when she told the blind man it was for the Fatherland — and you want to take your rage out on me! Is it my fault Angelo Eisner plonked himself in front of us at the last minute and we couldn’t see a thing for his bulk? You’re out of luck because he’s bigger, but I’m the one who has to carry the can! You blame me — me — but I–I—you know what you are — you know what you are — me — a Bardach, from one of the best families (screeching) — I’m far too good for a creature like you (she throws her corset at him) — you — you nobody — you wally!
HIM (rushes at her and grabs her) You — you — don’t get me worked up — don’t get me worked up, I tell you — I won’t answer for myself — if I lay my hands on you — what — what — what do you want from me — you scumbag — you want nothing for yourself? — Your ambition will be the death of me! If you’d had children you’d have had something else to think about — look at me — the grey hairs are because of you (sobbing) — I–I — I went to see Hochsinger — it’s my heart — it’s no longer — what it should be — that’s your fault — (bellowing) now you’ll hear the truth — for you can’t even claim to be — another Flora Dub! — the fortune I’d need to keep you in hats — where am I — supposed to get the readies — what more do you want from me—
HER (in a paroxysm of rage) Flora — Dub! — You have the nerve — me, in the same breath — with Flora — me and Dub! — me — a Bardach by birth! You know what you are — a pushy, ambitious little creep! Risen from the gutter! Green with envy! And a face black as thunder if you happen to be overlooked! Whenever you think of Eisner, you toss and turn in your sleep! Is it my fault he’s an aristocrat? Why don’t you go to Fürstenberg and get him to adopt you!
HIM (softening) Ida — what have I done to you — look — let me speak — seriously — look — what am I — Hofrat — me — ludicrous — a Jew is what I am! — (He sinks, sobbing, into the armchair.) — How do I put up with it! — Is that — is that — a way to live — always at the back — right at the back — behind all the others — having to depend on Hirsch — the last time we — the last price-raising — I mean prize-racing — they didn’t — even — notice us — (becoming calmer) — I even pushed you forward — Countess Wydenbruck noticed — commented on it — and today — scandal! — people talking — I’m finished — Spitzy laughed—