Arbalests shot cables across the ravine, and then back again. Chains swung out along the cables; heavy electromagnets found the iron plates on the cliff wall; and slowly, the bridge of stone swivelled up on hinges set into the far side of the gorge. They cheered as it came up, and Olivia’s muttering about how they would finally get some dinner was met with laughter rather than the usual silence.
6. Group
I left Veofol with the others to answer their questions about the trip, and asked Olivia to join me outside the room.
“I’m not bloody going,” she said, arms folded.
“Of course,” I replied. “If you don’t want to go then you don’t have to. I can appreciate how it might be difficult.”
“What do you mean, difficult?”
“Well, I know you have a problem with open spaces. Especially at night.”
“I don’t have a problem. I’m just careful.”
“Olivia, you’ve been living behind walls of one kind or another for something like fourteen or fifteen years, isn’t that right? It’s completely understandable if you only feel safe with that kind of protection, and you don’t even have to take part in the camping if you don’t want to—”
“You think I’m expecting revenants to come out of the woods? You must think I’m cracked!”
“Not at all. I think you have a perfectly understandable phobia. It doesn’t have to be logical for it to affect you.”
“Oh, and now you think you can get me to go by saying I’m scared, is that it? Well, stuff your psychology. I’m not going.”
“If you don’t think you’re up to it…”
She rounded on me, incensed. “Will you stop it! Stop trying to help! I don’t want your help!”
“I’m sorry, Olivia. You’ve got my help whether you like it or not. And you do need to participate, remember?”
“Oh, you’re not going to use that on me, are you…”
“Not at all. In this case, I would understand if you had a problem with leaving the centre. Although of course if you did join us it would go a long way to satisfying the requirements of your therapy. But I’m not going to make you go.”
“I don’t—” she caught herself and sighed. “All right. I’ll go. Or I’ll never hear the end of it, I suppose.”
7. Camping
The group trudged on to their objective — a circle of self-inflating tents, each one a dull silver dome glowing with a slight phosphorescence so you wouldn’t blunder into it in the middle of the night. Olivia had decided to stay with the group. I hoped this represented progress, but made sure we could get her to safety at a moment’s notice if she found it too difficult.
I rejoined the group at the campfire. They seemed happy to see me, still buoyed up by their success at the gorge, and offered a bowl of the stew they’d put together. But Olivia displayed clear signs of hypervigilance, a typical symptom of PTSD. When Liss returned from the toilet facilities and stepped on a twig, Olivia burst to her feet, a blanket dropping from her shoulders.
“It’s only Liss,” I said. Olivia swallowed hard and tried to calm herself.
“Right. Right. Only Liss.” She sat down again and gathered up her blanket, still tense.
“What did I do?” asked Liss.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” I told her.
“Are you all right?” Iokan asked Olivia.
“I’m fine,” she snapped back.
“You’re a bit jumpy,” he said.
“I don’t like the woods. I’ve had bad things happen to me in the woods.”
“But it’s lovely!” said Liss.
“Yeah, it’s really nice,” agreed Pew.
“There’s fireflies! And we’ve got marshmallows!” said Liss, pulling a bag out from her pack. “Do you want some?”
“No I don’t!” said Olivia.
“Suit yourself,” said Liss, skewering half a dozen on a toasting fork and kneeling by the fire.
“I know what you’re scared of,” said Iokan.
“You don’t know a damn thing,” said Olivia, scowling.
“One woman in my unit came back from the Shizima Islands and she was the same way. She’d take cover every time there was a loud noise. She never got combat out of her head.”
“Oh!” said Pew, realising what the matter was. “Oh…”
Iokan looked over at Pew. “You know what I mean, don’t you?”
“I’ve never been to war,” said Pew.
“It doesn’t have to be war, does it?”
“No.” Pew looked into the fire.
“I don’t need any help,” said Olivia.
“If you want, I’ll stand watch when you sleep,” said Iokan.
She looked up, hardly believing him. “You’ll what?”
“I’ll stand guard for you.”
She huddled back into herself again. “Don’t need anyone to watch over me. There’s nothing out there.”
“I know. It doesn’t matter. I’ll keep watch anyway, if you want.”
She looked into the fire. Iokan didn’t press her. And then, to my very great joy, she looked up at him with naked pleading. “All night?”
“We’ll take it in shifts.”
Liss was aghast. “What?”
“Well, those of us with a military background. I don’t suppose you’ve ever done sentry duty, have you?”
“Er, no,” she said.
“Kwame? Katie? Is that all right with you?” I asked.
“I will stand guard if that is required,” said Katie.
Kwame looked reluctant, but Olivia’s state moved even him to compassion. “Very well. I would not have slept anyway.”
“Don’t we know it…” muttered Olivia. Kwame looked ready to make a retort, but held his tongue as he saw how pitiful Olivia was: huddled up in her blanket, darting eyes, fingers trembling as one hand massaged the stump of her long lost finger.
Liss was still perplexed. “I don’t get it. It’s lovely out here! What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid. I just—” She paused. “I’m not used to being outside.”
“But you spend all day in the garden!”
“It’s not the same.”
“But—”
“Liss,” I said. “If Olivia doesn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t have to.”
“But why do we need sentries?”
Pew scratched in the dirt with a stick. “Because she’s ill, Liss.”
She pouted. “I don’t get it.”
I sat closer to Liss. “It’s because of what she went through on her world. Do you remember what she said?” She still looked confused. “The revenants used to lie down and rest when there was no one else around. Then if someone came by, they’d get up and attack. In the middle of the night, like this, you wouldn’t know you were surrounded until it was too late.”
“And then they’d eat you,” added Olivia. Liss’s eyes went wide and she looked out into the darkness.
“You didn’t… bring any back here… did you?” asked Liss.
Olivia enjoyed a grim smile, but did not answer.
Liss looked back at me. “They didn’t, did they?” I shook my head.
“Are those done?” asked Iokan, nodding towards the fire.
Liss noticed her marshmallows had turned black, and two had burst into flames. “Shit! Shit!” she said, and dropped the branch into the fire. The group couldn’t help chuckling, and even Olivia sniggered. Liss was hurt at first, but when she saw the smiles all around, she couldn’t quite stifle an embarrassed giggle.