She was inclined to relax with me and I was certain that soon she would be confiding in me.
With Judith's acquiescence I had ordered that a new suite of rooms be prepared for Johnny and me and had had furniture moved from other parts of the house to our apartments. The servants whispered behind my back but this I was prepared for. I knew that the Dowager Lady St. Larnston talked of upstarts and the tragedy of Johnny's marriage but I cared nothing for her. She was old and would soon be of little consequence. I was looking to the future.
I was waiting my time, eagerly watching for the first signs of pregnancy. I was certain that I would soon have my son; and when I could announce that I was expecting a child, my position in that household would change. Above everything, old Lady St. Larnston wanted a grandchild and she despaired of Judith's giving her one.
One day I rode out to the vet's to call on my brother. I wanted to talk to him for I had made Johnny promise that my brother should train as a doctor and I could scarcely wait to tell Joe the good news.
Mr. Pollent's house, which had once seemed so grand, now looked modest; but it was a comfortable dwelling, standing back from the road in an acre of ground, most of which was occupied by stables, kennels and out-buildings. At the windows clean dimity curtains hung and when I alighted I saw these move, so I knew that my arrival was being watched.
One of the Pollent girls came into the hall to greet me.
"Oh come into the hale, dio" she cried, and I was sure she had hastily put on a clean muslin dress in which to receive me.
I followed her into the hale—another name for parlor—which was clearly only used on special occasions. This was gratifying and I took the chair which was offered me—glancing at the china dogs on the mantelpiece.
"I've come to see Joe," I said.
"Oh yes, Mrs. St. Larnston. I'll be going and telling him. If you'll excuse me for a minute or two."
I smiled graciously as she went out. I guessed that the story of my marriage had been the main topic throughout the countryside and that Joe had become more important because of his connection with me. I was gratified (I was always pleased when I could bring honor to my family).
I was studying the silver and china in the comer cupboard and, on assessing its value, telling myself that the Pollents were, if not rich, comfortably off, when Miss Pollent returned to tell me that Joe had asked her to take me to where he was working as he was busy.
I was a little deflated by this indication that Joe did not share the Pollents' respect, but I hid this and allowed myself to be taken to a room where I found him standing at a bench mixing a liquid in a bottle.
His pleasure was real as I went to him and kissed him.
He held up the glass bottle to show me. "A new mix," he explained. "Mr. Pollent and I reckon we've got something as has never been used before here."
"Have you?" I said. "I've got news for you, Joe."
He laughed. "Oh yes, you be Mrs. St. Larnston now. We all heard along of how you run off to Plymouth with Mr. Johnny."
I frowned. He would have to learn to express himself like a gentleman.
"My word," he went on, "what a to-do! You and Mr. St. Larnston and Hetty Pengaster all going off on the same day."
I was startled. "Hetty Pengaster!"
"Hadn't 'ee heard? She went away too. Regular how-do-'ee-do, I can tell 'ee. The Pengasters was in a rare state, and Saul Cundy were going to murder, that he were. But... there it be. Doll reckoned she'd gone all the way to London. She'd always said that's where her did want to go."
I was silent momentarily, forgetting the importance of my mission to Joe. Hetty Pengaster! How strange that she should have chosen to leave home the very same day that Johnny and I had left.
"So she's gone to London," I said.
"Well, no one's heard yet, but that's what they do say. There was a young fellow from London who was here in the summer and Doll says he were friendly like with Hetty. Doll reckons they did plan it while he were here ... though Hetty didn't tell her exactly like."
I looked at Joe and his contentment with his life irritated me.
"I've wonderful news for you, Joe," I told him.
He looked at me then and I went on: "Everything is different now. There's no need for you to continue in this humble position."
He wrinkled his eyebrows and looked foolish.
"I've always meant to do something for you, Joe, and now I'm in a position to. I can help you to become a doctor. You can tell Mr. Pollent tonight. There'll be a lot of studying to be done, and I'm going along to ask Dr. Hilliard's advice tomorrow. Then ..."
"I don't know what you be talking about, Kerensa," he said, and a flush spread slowly across his face.
"I'm a St. Larnston now, Joe. You know what that means?"
Joe put down the bottle he was holding and limped over to one of the shelves; there he picked up a jar containing some liquid and began shaking this absent-mindedly. I felt emotional watching him, thinking of the night when Kim and I had rescued him from the mantrap and I had a great longing to see Kim now.
"I can't see what difference it do make to me," he said. "And I'm going to stay here along of Mr. Pollent. Here's where I belong to be."
"A vet? When you could be a doctor!"
"This is where I belong to be," he repeated.
"But you'll be educated, Joe. You could be a doctor."
"I couldn't be so. I be a vet and here's where ..."
"Where you belong to be!" I finished impatiently. "Oh Joe, don't you want to get on?"
He looked at me and his eyes were colder than I had ever seen them.
"I do want to be let alone, that's what," he said.
"But Joe ..."
He limped towards me and when he was close he said, "The trouble with you, Kerensa, be that you want to be like God. You do want to make the rest of we dance to your tune. Well, I won't, see? I be here with Mr. Pollent. And that's where I belong to be."
"You're a fool, Joe Carlee," I told him.
"That be your opinion, but if I be a fool, well then, tis a fool I like to be."
I was angry. Here was my first real obstacle. I had known so well what I had wanted. Mrs. St. Larnston of the Abbas; her son heir to the tide; her brother the local doctor; her Grandmother installed in ... say, the Dower House. I wanted every detail of the dream to come true.
And Joe, who had always been so meek, was opposing me.
Angrily I turned away, and when I abruptly opened the door I almost fell over one of the Pollent girls who had quite clearly been listening at the keyhole. I ignored her and she ran into the room.
I heard her say: "Oh Joe, you hain't going away, be you?"
I waited and Joe replied: "Nay, Essie. You do know I'd never go away. Tis here with you and the work where I belong to be."
I hurried away then, disgusted.
I had been married two months and I was certain I was to have a child.
I told no one but Granny when I first suspected this; it was only when I was sure that I let it be known.
My triumph exceeded my expectations.
The first person at the Abbas to be told was my mother-in-law. I went to her room and knocked at the door. She was alone and none too pleased to be disturbed.
"I am not free to see you now," she said. She had never addressed me by name up to that time.
"I wanted you to be the first to hear my news," I replied coolly. "If you do not wish to do so, it is of little importance to me that you are kept in ignorance."
"What news is this?" she asked.