I was glad when Mellyora, Mrs. Fedder, and I could retire to the drawing room, although I found it a very boring evening and was even more delighted when the time arrived for the Fedders to leave.
It had been an exhausting day: first the shock about the bills, then Carlyon's escape, and after that a dinner party which was not in the least stimulating.
In our bedroom I decided to open the subject of the bills with my husband.
He looked tired, I thought, but the matter could be shelved no longer: it was too important.
"Haggety has disturbed me, Johnny," I began. "Today he showed me two demands from wine merchants. He says they won't supply us with any more wine until the bills are paid."
Johnny shrugged his shoulders.
"It's ... it's insulting," I said.
He yawned, feigning an indifference which I suspected he did not feel. "My dear Kerensa, people like us don't feel we have to pay bills as soon as they're submitted."
"So people like you are in the habit of having tradespeople refuse to supply you?"
"You're exaggerating."
"I've had it straight from Haggety. This sort of thing didn't happen when Justin was here."
"All sorts of things happened when Justin was here which don't happen now. For instance, wives mysteriously fell down staircases to their deaths."
He was changing the issue; just as I liked to justify myself when feeling guilty, so did he.
"The bills should be paid, Johnny."
"What with?"
"Money."
He shrugged his shoulders. "You find it and I'll pay the bills."
"We can't entertain our guests if we can't give them wine to drink."
"Haggety must find someone who will supply us."
"And run up more bills?"
"You've got a cottage mentality, Kerensa."
"I'm glad of it if it means I pay my debts."
"Oh, don't talk to me of money."
"Johnny, tell me frankly, are we in difficulties ... financial difficulties?"
"There are always money troubles."
"Are there? Were there in Justin's day?"
"Everything was perfectly arranged in Justin's day. He was so clever in every way ...until his cleverness caught up with him."
"Johnny, I want to know everything."
"To know all is to forgive," he quoted lightly.
"Are we short of money?"
"We are."
"And what are you doing about it?"
"Hoping and praying for a miracle."
"Johnny, how bad are things?"
"I don't know. But we'll pull through. We always do."
"I must go into these matters with you ... soon."
"Soon?" he said.
A sudden thought struck me. "You haven't been asking James Fedder for money?"
He laughed. "The shoe is on the other foot, my sweet wife. Fedder is looking for a kind friend who'll come to his aid. He chose the wrong one tonight."
"He wanted to borrow money from you?"
Johnny nodded.
"And what did you say?"
"Oh I gave him a blank check and told him to help himself. There was so much in the bank, I wouldn't miss a few thousand."
"Johnny ... seriously."
"Seriously, Kerensa, I told him I was in a low state. The Fedder mine's running out, in any case. It's no use trying to bolster things up."
"The mine," I said. "Of course, the mine!"
He stared at me.
"I know we shan't like it but if it's the only way ... and if there's tin there as people say there is."
His lips were tight; his eyes blazing.
"What are you saying?" he demanded.
"But if it's the only way ..." I began.
He cut me short. "You ..." he said so low that I could scarcely hear. "You ... to suggest such a thing. What do you think?" He took me by the shoulders and shook me roughly. "Who are you ... to think you can rule the Abbas?"
For the moment his eyes were so cruel that I believed he hated me.
"Open the mine!" he went on. "When you know as well as I do... ."
He lifted his hand; he was so angry that I thought he was going to strike me.
Then he turned abruptly away.
He lay at one side of the bed; I at the other.
I knew that he did not sleep until the early hours of the morning. It had been a strange disturbing day and its events would not be dismissed from my mind. I saw Mrs. Rolt and Mrs. Salt standing before me; I saw Haggety with the wine bills; Carlyon riding with Joe, holding the reins of Joe's horse in plump beloved fingers; and I saw Johnny, his face white with anger.
A bad day, I thought. The stirring of ghosts; the opening of cupboards and disclosing old skeletons best forgotten.
From then on my days were disturbed. My attention became focused on Johnny because I had suddenly realized that he was no fit person to handle the estate and that his mismanagement could have its effect on Carlyon's future.
I knew little of business matters but I did know how easily inefficient people could get into trouble. I went to see Granny, taking Carlyon with me. My son was delighted when he heard where we were going. I myself drove the little trap I used for such short journeys and Carlyon stood before me, holding the reins as he had with Joe. All the time he was chattering about his Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe says horses have feelings just like people. Uncle Joe says all animals know what you're saying, so you have to be careful not to hurt them. Uncle Joe says... .
I should be pleased that I had given him an uncle whom he admired so much.
Essie came out to meet us—as always, a little shy in my company. She took us into Granny's room. Granny was in bed; it was not one of her good days, she told me.
Her black hair was in two plaits and she looked older; she had always seemed out of place in the Pollents' house, although I knew that Essie had done her utmost to make her welcome and at home. The room with the neat dimity curtains and the starched counterpane was not Granny's style; and there was about her an air of resignation, as though, I thought with alarm, she had come here to await the end.
Carlyon climbed onto the bed to embrace her and for a few minutes she talked to him. He remained passively polite in her arms, watching her lips with some concentration, but I knew that he was longing to be with Joe. Essie had told Joe that we were here and when he came in at the door Carlyon was off the bed and rushing at my brother. Joe lifted him in his arms and held him above his head.
"So you be come along to give a hand, have 'ee?"
"Yes, Uncle Joe, I've come to give a hand."
"Well I got to go along to Farmer Pengaster this morning. One of his horses. I be thinking that a bran mash'll be all she's needing. What do 'ee think, partner?"
Carlyon put his head on one side. "Yes, I do think all she be needing is a bran mash, partner."
"Well, look 'ee here, how'd it be if you was to come along with me and have a look at her? I'd get your Aunt Essie to wrap up a pasty for us in case we was to feel a bit peckish."
Carlyon had thrust his hands in his pockets; he was standing with his weight on one leg as Joe stood; he hunched his shoulders which I knew to be a sign of joy.
Joe was glancing at me, his eyes alight with pleasure. There was only one thing I could say.
"You'll bring him back this afternoon then, Joe."
Joe nodded. "Reckon our rounds'll bring us that way. I've got to look in at the Abbas stables... "
Carlyon gave a sudden laugh. "Better be going partner," he said. "It's a heavy morning."
When they had gone, Essie going with them to wrap up the pasties. Granny said to me: "Tis good to see them together." She laughed. "But you don't think so, lovey. Your brother's not good enough for you now."
"No, Granny, that's not true... ."