This was triumph indeed. I went back and told Granny.
"Don't wait no longer," she said. 'You're not one for waiting. I've not much time, and I'd like to see 'ee settled afore I go."
I shut myself in my bedroom. All the morning the experts had been at work. I had heard that safety must be ensured before the descent was made; a mine disused so long could present certain dangers—flooding, falls of earth, and other disasters. It would be a costly matter to discover whether or not the mine would be a business proposition.
Kim came riding over to the Dower House. I was glad that Mellyora was out with Carlyon. Daisy came up to tell me that he was downstairs, and I said I would shortly be with him. I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was a young woman, many would say in my prime. In my lavender morning dress with the lace at the throat and sleeves and the satin ribbons I was beautiful. Granny was right: being in love put a shine on one. My hair had more luster. I wore it piled high on my head; the brilliance of my eyes made them look bigger. I was pleased with myself as I went down to greet Kim; and I knew that perhaps this very day would prove me a free woman.
As I opened the door of the sitting room I saw him standing by the fireplace, legs apart, his hand in his pocket; there was a tender smile about his lips which I felt sure was for me.
He came towards me, took both my hands, his eyes smiling, faintly amused.
"Kerensa!" He even said my name as though it amused him.
"It was good of you to call."
He put his head on one side, and smiled. "You are amused?" I asked.
"Pleasantly so."
"I'm glad I can pleasantly amuse you."
He laughed and drew me to the window.
"What a noise they are making in the meadow today."
"Yes. At last they're getting to work."
"And the outcome means a lot to you, Kerensa."
I flushed, afraid for the moment that he knew the real reason. Kim's eyes seemed to have become more penetrating while he had been away, there was an air of wisdom about him which I found attractive but which alarmed me faintly.
"It's important that we should be able to work the mine again."
I summoned Daisy to bring wine and the special biscuits which had always been kept for visitors at the Abbas—a custom, like many others, which I had brought to the Dower House.
We sat at a small table sipping the wine, and looking round the room he said: "It's a warmer place than it was when I lived here. It's a strange feeling, Kerensa, to come back to a house that has been home to you and to find it is someone else's home, different furniture, different faces, different atmosphere... ."
"I always used to envy your living at the Dower House."
"I know. I saw it in your face. You had the most expressive face in the world, Kerensa. You could never hide your feelings."
"How alarming. I hope that's not the case now."
"Such scorn! Such pride! I never saw anyone so scornful nor so proud."
"I was an angry child."
"Poor Kerensa." He laughed. "I remember your standing in the wall ... the broken wall. The Seventh Virgin. Do you remember how taken we were with the story at that time."
"Yes. That was why I came to look."
"We all came. We all met there."
I saw it all clearly. Myself, Mellyora. Justin, Johnny and Kim.
"We teased you horribly, I'm afraid. We made you very angry. I can see you now ... turning to put out your tongue. I've never forgotten."
"I wish you had something more pleasant to remember!"
"There was Miss Carlyon at the ball. Magnificent in red velvet. And there was that night in the woods... . You see, Kerensa, I remember so much of the past. You and Mellyora at the ball! Mellyora having brought you without the knowledge of the hostess!" He laughed. "It made the ball for me. I'd always found them a bore. But that ball ... I've never forgotten. I've often laughed about the way Mellyora secured your invitation... ."
"We've always been like sisters."
"I'm glad of it." He looked into his glass and I thought: If I only knew that I was free. When he knows that I am free he will tell me he loves me.
He wanted to talk of the past. He made me tell him about the day I had stood up to be hired at Trelinket Fair and how Mellyora had come along and hired me. I went on to explain how sadly the Reverend Charles Martin had died and how we had found ourselves penniless.
"Neither Mellyora nor I could be separated, so I became the lady's maid and Mellyora the lady's drudge."
"Poor Mellyora!"
"Life was hard for both of us."
"But you would always be able to take care of yourself."
We laughed together.
It was his turn to talk. He spoke of the lonely life in the Dower House. He had been fond of his father but the fact that he was always away at sea had meant that he was left to the care of the servants.
"I never felt I had a real home, Kerensa."
"And you wanted a home?"
"I didn't know it, but I did. Who doesn't? The servants were kind to me ... but it wasn't the same. I was at the Abbas a great deal. I was fascinated by the place. I know how you felt about it ... because in a way I felt the same. There's something about it. Perhaps it's the legends that attach themselves to such houses that intrigue us? I used to say to myself, when I grow up I'm going to make a fortune, I'm going to live in a house like the Abbas. It wasn't so much that I wanted the house as all that went with it. I longed to be a member of a big family. You see, I'm a lonely man, Kerensa. Always have been, and my dream was to have a big family ... that would grow in all directions."
"You mean that you want to marry, have children, and be a grand old man ... with grandchildren and great-grandchildren always near you?"
I smiled for was this not my dream? Did I not see myself, the grand old lady of the Abbas? Now I pictured us together; Kim and myself, grown old. Serene and happy, we would watch our grandchildren at play. Then instead of looking forward I would be looking back ... back on a life which had given me all I had asked of it.
"It's not a bad ambition," he said almost sheepishly.
Then he told me how lonely it had been on the station; how he had longed for home. "And home, Kerensa, was all this ... the Abbas ... the people I had known."
I understood. I told myself his dream was mine.
We were interrupted by the return of Mellyora and Carlyon. Carlyon was laughing and shouting to her as they came across the lawn.
We both went to the window to watch them. I saw the smile on Kim's lips and I believed that he envied me my son.
It was later that day that Kim came riding over to the Dower House.
I saw him coming, and noticed the bewildered expression on his face. As he came into the hall I was waiting there for him.
"Kerensa." He strode towards me, took my hands and looked long into my face.
"Yes, Kim."
"I've bad news. Come into the drawing room and sit down."
"Tell me quickly, Kim. I can bear it."
"Where's Mellyora?"
"Never mind. Tell me now."
"Kerensa ..." He put his arm about me and I leaned against him, conscious of playing the weak woman, eager to lean on him because his concern for me was so sweet.
"Kim, you're keeping me in suspense. It's the mine, isn't it? It's no good."
He shook his head.
"Kerensa, you're going to be shocked... ."
"I must know, Kim. Don't you see ..."
He gripped my hands tightly. "They've made a discovery in the mine. They've found ..."
I lifted my eyes to his, trying to read the triumph behind the anxiety. I could see nothing but his concern for me.