Look again at the questions you answered about your religious experience in this chapter, but now think not of your overall score but instead of how you got that score. Our findings suggest that someone who scores lots of points from feeling religious or from watching television evangelists will not likely have the same experiences, or positive outcomes, as someone who is actively engaged in a religious community.
For the Terman men, and often for men more generally, the relevance of religion to health is overwhelmed by other influences—their families and their careers. The Terman men relied more on their wives in social realms, and so religious ties were less important to their health. And those unmarried but healthy men like John, who was not at all religious in the traditional sense yet still lived a long life, usually maintained close relationships with friends and colleagues outside the context of religious organizations.
Some people feel they are not devout enough, and they resolve to meditate further or to spend more hours in prayer. While this makes many people feel better and more compassionate, our findings suggest that these practices are not central to health promotion. Instead, the good health habits fostered by religious practice and especially the social engagement that is so much a part of religious community are the likely explanations for the health of many religious folks.
After making this discovery, we needed to understand more about the social ties that appeared health promoting. Was it the secure feeling of being in a congregation or the volunteer work or having many friends? What steps can we take? We explore these matters, and the sometimes paradoxical discoveries, in the next chapter.
CHAPTER 12
Confidants, Networks, and the Power of Social Life
Linda had a lot of social connections, including with six other women she was in contact with weekly. Not only that, but her large extended family lived in the same town, fairly close to her home. James, in contrast, had fewer connections and associates, but he felt especially socially secure and supported. He perceived he could count on his now-adult offspring and he could confide in them whenever he wished. Many other sorts of social links were also apparent among the Terman participants. We wondered which aspects of social ties would be most relevant to health and long life.
Social support is a catchall phrase used to describe the ties we have to others. But it is too broad and confusing. Sometimes it refers to the size of your social network—how many friends and relatives you have, particularly how many you regularly see or talk to. At other times, researchers define social support as the feelings you have about being cared for—whether you have people who love you and cheer you up when you are down.
To confuse matters even further, sometimes researchers focus on the social support that comes from assisting others—measuring whether people come to you for advice and how often you lend a hand to friends and neighbors. Helping others, expressing gratitude, and acting as a mentor are healthy patterns that are often recommended to those trying to fight depression or improve their sense of well-being. These are well-known to work—to cheer you up—in the short term. But are they relevant to long life?
Our first challenge was to figure out how best to measure the social support of the Terman participants. While many researchers have conducted short-term studies of social support, they’ve used modern measures not available in Terman’s time.
Combing the archives, with lots of help from graduate student Keiko Taga, we deemed certain activities and relationships to be markers of social support: frequency of visiting and communicating with relatives, friends, and neighbors; helping friends or neighbors; doing community service; satisfaction with friendships and social contacts; number of intimate and companionate relationships; quality relationships with family and close relatives; and frequency of meetings with social or community groups. Using statistical analyses, we combined and condensed this and other related information to reflect the major ways of viewing social support. In particular, we considered network size, feeling connected, and helping others. We then checked to make sure that our measures captured social support in the same way that modern measures do (using the same correlational approach we’d used for the personality scales).
Answer each of the questions with your best estimate or assessment.
1. How often in a typical month do you talk to a lot of different people at parties?
Never
1
2
3
4 or more times
2. How often in the past month have you participated in group meetings or activities (other than work meetings)?
Never
1
2
3
4 or more times
3. Of your friends, how many could you definitely call on for help if you needed it?
None
1
2
3
4 or more
4. How many relatives do you see or hear from at least once per month?
None
1
2
3
4 or more
5. How many people in your life accept you totally, just as you are?
None
1
2
3
4 or more
6. How often in the past month have friends or relatives made you feel loved and cared for?
Never
1
2
3
4 or more times
7. How many people can you count on to help you feel better when you are down in the dumps?
None
1
2
3
4 or more
8. How often in the past month have others talked to you about important decisions they need to make?
Never
1
2
3
4 or more times
9. How often in the past week have you helped others (beyond your partner or children) with tasks they needed to do?
None
1
2
3
4 or more times
10. How many people—including your children, parents, friends, and neighbors—rely on you to do something important for them every day?
None
1
2
3
4 or more
To calculate your overall score, ignore your answer to question 1, which is an irrelevant filler item, and add up your scores for questions 2 through 10. (Give yourself a 0 for each “none” or “never” response you circled, and a 4 for each “4 or more.”) The total will fall somewhere between 0 (never/none) and 36. Although people vary widely in both social network size and their perceptions of how beneficial their social support networks are, we don’t expect anyone to score a 0 on this scale. In fact, scoring below 7 is very unusual. Most people score at least in the double digits, and higher numbers (such as above 25) represent the strong social support that serves to promote longevity. But even more important than your overall score is your score on three subscales.
As we will see, items 2, 3, and 4 together assess the most important element, namely whether you have a large social network. Items 8, 9, and 10 assess the next important element, whether you help and provide support for others. Items 5, 6, and 7 assess the least important aspect of social support—whether you feel that others are there for you. In fact, we found that this last factor is overrated in terms of its health value. Feelings were not the key.