Happy Trails to You
To an outsider, Paul—cheerful and sociable, masculine and well liked—seemed to have it all, but he lived an unfortunately foreshortened life. In contrast, Jess Oppenheimer had a difficult childhood—often picked on and fighting with schoolmates—but the ironic striving that resulted from his challenges served him well once he became a highly successful Hollywood comedy writer. He got married, became a father, and led a stable but very active and creative long life. One key difference between the two lay in the function of the jokester role. Jess learned to use humor in a warmhearted, meaningful way, showing human foibles but also the importance of relationships. For him it was also a tool with which to make a good living. For Paul, in contrast, it seems to have served a different function—one more selfish and sardonic. His optimistic, carefree attitude encouraged him to underestimate risks to his health and to approach his career goals in a lackadaisical fashion. It even hindered the sorts of close, social bonds that are so important to long life. He was the life of the party, but with few true confidants. We’re not suggesting dampening your cheerfulness or humor, but rather challenging the idea that humor automatically causes health. In fact, as we saw, happiness does not cause good health; both happiness and health result from being on the right paths.
The Road Less Traveled
A striking theme emerged from our findings about those individuals—usually women—who often ignored social convention. Emma followed a life path that many young women of her era tried to avoid: She never married. She pursued her career with passion and her life was rewarding and full. She traveled. She was independent yet had a group of close friends (and her siblings) to share her joys and to encourage her during difficult times. Emma’s reports to Terman over the years don’t reflect a woman who felt her life was incomplete. Instead they suggest a spirited woman, very agreeable but serious, taking advantage of the opportunities afforded her. Although a good marriage can contribute to health and well-being, marriage can also bring troubles, plus the possibility of breakup and its health-damaging consequences.
Barbara, altruistic and agreeable, began her adulthood more conventionally than did Emma—she got married. But then she, too, headed down a less-traveled road. She was divorced, and she chose not to remarry. Like many of the women, but not the men, who divorced, she stayed healthy. She had close friends, as did Emma, and Barbara’s career in social work provided her with many opportunities to reach out to others. As was the case for many of the Terman women, Barbara’s life revealed an unexpected but common, healthy path for a woman—staying single after a divorce.
The Road to Resilience
The highly successful Hollywood director Edward Dmytryk, one of the hardest-working Terman subjects, led one of the most stressful lives yet lived to age ninety. Those who cared about others—who were agreeable but not necessarily sociable—often thrived even in the face of adversity. Like Dmytryk, they sought out the best in others, which was a key road to resilience. The same could be said of those children who faced the divorce of their parents. Those who got back on track, with a sense of accomplishment in their careers and a happy marriage of their own, lived long lives.
We didn’t find that competition and drive are unhealthy characteristics. On the contrary, those who were the most disappointed with their achievements died the youngest. It would be naïve to think that successful Hollywood directors like Dmytryk, TV writers like Jess Oppenheimer, and the like cannot compete and throw an elbow at their opponent if needed. But they had the persistence, the motivation, and especially the support of a spouse or a close friend to come back each time they faced a challenge. Resilience was not a trait they were born with, nor an inner insight, but a process of perseverance and hard work.
The Long and Winding Road
Many of the Terman children were on a very healthy trajectory in the first third of their lives—they were more physically active (especially the boys), were well-adjusted, and had many friends and teammates. But by age sixty, most of them had lost vigor and energy (and tended now to resemble those who had been less active). Their childhood activity levels didn’t translate directly to living longer. Instead, it was those who started active and stayed active, and those who started out less active but increased (and maintained) their activity, who lived the longest.
Staying physically active was clearly important to good health and long life. But it was not those who made resolutions to go running who succeeded. Rather, it was those whose habits, routines, and social networks encouraged movement and made it difficult to sit in one place who did well. The Terman participants lived most of their lives before the popular availability of jogging trails and marathons, gyms and treadmills, and running shoes and sweat-wicking athletic attire. Yet many stayed active, trim, and fit. Modern developments in the exercise industry can help individuals optimize and improve their fitness, but it is the broader patterns that lead one to maintain this fitness throughout many years.
An analogous finding emerged with conscientiousness. It was those who were conscientious as children and who remained highly persistent and prudent as adults who lived the longest. Nevertheless, those who started out unconscientious but entered positions requiring maturity and growth, and who increased their levels of prudence and persistence, were able to close much of the gap. Such patterns, common among the Terman subjects, revealed that there were inclinations and patterns launched in childhood, but little was fixed and determined at an early age. Rather, it was those who stayed on the healthiest paths, plus those who found their ways to the healthiest paths, who thrived in the second half of life.
The Feminine Avenue—Establishing Social and Emotional Ties
Many of the Terman men tended to rely on their wives for their social ties and their emotional health. When these were lost due to divorce or death, the consequences were often devastating. Among men, those who were in stable married relationships lived the longest. But the same was not true for the women. As noted, the women could more easily establish social and emotional ties with others. Those Terman subjects—male or female—who could nurture the feminine quality of social connectedness stayed healthier. The more masculine men and the more masculine women died sooner, while the more feminine women and the more feminine men lived longer.
The Less Sunny Side of the Street
Unlike catastrophizing, moderate worrying often conferred real benefits to health. James, tactful and sensitive, was something of a worrier throughout his life. But it turned out that his concerns prompted him to take better care of his health, especially after the death of his wife. Particularly for those with no spouse or close family member to urge them in the right direction, and especially for men, neurotic tendencies can promote longevity. Neurotic worrying as part of a syndrome of catastrophizing, anger, and depression was a sign of heightened risk, but for many people, nagging thoughts and irksome concerns were important to heading toward better health. This, too, was an unexpected finding that goes against common wisdom.