‘Tell me who you were with,’ he screamed.
Tears slipped down her cheeks. He moved so fast she didn’t have time to brace herself. He grabbed one of her arms and wrenched it behind her back.
‘Tell me,’ he whispered.
When he threw her into the wall, the force of his strength winded her. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t hear. She willed herself to flee.
‘Yeah, that’s it, run away, you fucking prick-tease. I saw you hugging Aiden. I know what you are. Go on. Run away.’ His voice roared after her. ‘Good fucking riddance.’
Later she would remember her body moving independently of her mind. Twisting out and away from him. Running to her truck. Turning the key in the ignition and simultaneously pressing her foot down on the accelerator. Again, her mind floated somewhere above her, disconnected, watching herself drive. She stopped at Dylan’s gate to gather Pip into her arms, returned to her truck and allowed the headlights to guide her safely home.
When she drove around the bend in the road there was a dusty rental car parked in her driveway. Alice pulled up and walked shakily alongside the car, peering through the windows.
Low voices came from around the back, the rich scent of tobacco smoke. Pip ran ahead through the garage.
Her legs were leaden. She walked slowly out to the patio.
There, in the last of the day’s light, stood Twig and Candy Baby.
26. Lantern bush
Meaning: Hope may blind me
Abutilon leucopetalum | Northern Territory
Tjirin-tjirinpa (Pit.) is found in dry, often rocky inland regions. Leaves have a heart-shaped base. Yellow hibiscus-like flowers appear mostly in winter and spring, but can sometimes appear endlessly, their bright colour shining all year round. Used by Anangu children to make small toy spears.
Candy broke down. She rushed to Alice and fussed, stroking her face and hair.
Twig hung back. She dropped her smoke at her feet and put it out under the heel of her boot. Once Candy let her go, Twig stepped forward and pulled Alice into her arms.
Alice shook as she made tea. Smoke clung to her skin, to her hair. Dylan’s rage continued to play on her. The revulsion on his face. The harmful intent of his strength.
She carried three cups of tea to the table where Candy and Twig sat, so familiar but so out of context in her desert life. Set them down, trembling.
‘Are you all right?’ Candy reached forward, putting her hand over Alice’s.
Alice sat, closed her eyes briefly and gave a nod.
‘How did you find me?’ she murmured.
They exchanged a glance.
Twig took a sip of tea. ‘Moss Fletcher.’
‘As in, the vet?’ Alice exclaimed, her mind reeling. ‘In Agnes Bluff?’
Twig nodded. ‘He read the insignia on your truck when he took you to the doctor. Googled Thornfield, called us looking for next of kin. He rang us after you emailed him and said you were here.’
Alice couldn’t look at either of them. ‘He had no business doing that.’ Dylan’s voice: You play them like a fucking song.
‘Maybe not,’ Candy said gently. ‘But we were so relieved when he rang.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘You just left, sweetpea,’ she said. ‘I texted and called and emailed you every day …’ her voice broke. ‘You just left.’
Outside her fairy lights twinkled in the bruised sky. Would he call? Her head ached. The adrenalin was fading, leaving a silt of exhaustion in her body.
‘You know why I “just left”,’ Alice said. ‘What else was I supposed to do?’
‘I know it’s so hard to see it this way, but June was trying to protect you.’
‘Oh god. This isn’t …’ Alice abruptly stood and pushed her chair in. ‘I can’t do this,’ she said, holding her hands up. She had no fight left in her. She didn’t want them there. Her mind was a mess; all she could think about was Dylan. She didn’t have room for ghosts and old memories. Besides, deep down she knew she was being unfair. They didn’t deserve her fear, pain and anger. The best thing she could do for everyone was take some time out.
‘I just need a moment.’ Alice turned her back and headed for the shower. As she was about to shut the bathroom door, Candy spoke.
‘She’s dead, Alice.’
The words hit her like a trio of explosions. She could see Candy’s lips moving, but heard only snippets.
‘… a massive heart attack …’
Alice shook her head, trying to hear. Her legs were numb.
‘… we were cut off from town by the floods. Day and night she sat on the back verandah, watching the water rise. We found her, eyes wide open, staring out at the ruined flowers.’ Candy’s face was empty.
Alice looked at them both, as if seeing them properly for the first time. Candy’s eyes were bloodshot; her blue hair was dull and brittle. Twig’s hair had silvered at her temples. Even under her utilitarian clothes, her frame was visibly gaunt.
June was dead.
Alice stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door behind her, pressing herself against it as her legs gave out. She sank to the floor. Desperate for comfort, she turned on a warm shower. Clambered in, fully clothed, and sat under the water. Held her face up to it. Pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and let herself wail.
Alice stayed in the bathroom long after she’d showered. She wrapped herself in towels and lay in the empty bath, her eyes closed, unwilling to move, unwilling to speak.
Through the walls came the muffled sound of Twig and Candy talking in the lounge room. Sliding the back door open. Teacups being washed in the kitchen sink. The squawk of her dining chairs on the lino. Footsteps to the bathroom door.
‘Alice.’ Twig’s voice. ‘I think it’s best we go and get a room at the resort. Give you some space. It was a mistake to bring you this news without any warning.’ A pause. ‘We’re very sorry.’ Another pause. Receding footsteps. At the sound of her front door opening, remorse hauled Alice out of the bath. She flung the door open. Pip rushed in, weaving herself around Alice’s legs.
‘Wait,’ she called.
Twig and Candy were already outside. At the sound of her voice, they stepped back through the front door.
‘You could stay. There’s plenty of room for you here. I’m off work now for four days.’ She raised her chin. ‘You should stay. We should talk.’ Her heart beat steadfast in her ears.
They glanced at each other. Candy was the first to speak. ‘How about I rustle up something for a late dinner? We aren’t of any use to each other on empty stomachs.’
While Candy helped herself to the kitchen and Twig sat out the back to roll a smoke, Alice went into her bedroom to get dressed. Every movement took monumental effort. Knickers on. Had June been in pain? One leg. Next leg. Did she know she was dying when the heart attack happened? Shirt over her head. Did she cry or call out for anyone? Was she scared? Alice’s head felt too heavy for her neck to carry. She crawled into bed, just for a moment, seeking the comfort of her pillow. Curled into herself.
There he was.
The smell of his cologne on her shirt, the wending green scent and something else besides. His body, his dreams and his breath, earthen and salty.
Alice lifted the neck of her shirt over her nose, inhaling deeply. He’d been upset, he’d been excluded from the burn. He was sensitive to her attracting other men’s attention. She should have been more mindful. She should go to him and apologise. He’d just lost his temper. Everyone does that now and then.