“Steve,” she said, leaning on her broadsword and staring him squarely in one of his basketball eyes, “your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.”
The Sea Beast, rather than go on the defensive (which was fortunate for Molly, because the only defense he could think of was to bite her legs off), let out a pathetic whimper and tried to tuck his huge head under a forelimb. Molly immediately regretted her comment and tried to patch the damage.
“Oh, I know, it’s not your fault. Maybe someone sells Tic Tacs the size of easy chairs. We’ll get through it.” But she didn’t mean it, and Steve could sense her insincerity. “Maybe we need to get out more,” she added.
Dawn had broken outside and a beam of sunlight was streaming into the cathedral like a cop’s flashlight in a smoky bar. “Maybe a swim,” Molly said. “Your gills seem to be healing.” How she knew the treelike growths on his neck were gills, she wasn’t sure—perhaps more of the unspoken communication that passes between lovers.
Steve lifted his head and Molly thought that she might have gotten his attention, but then she noticed that a shadow had come over the entrance to the cave. She looked up to see half a dozen people in choir robes standing at the opening of the cathedral.
“We’ve come to offer sacrifice,” one woman managed to say.
“And not a breath mint among you, I’ll bet,” Molly said.
Twenty-five
H.P.‘s Cafe was crowded with early morning old guys drinking coffee. Theo downed three cups of coffee quickly, which only served to make him anxious. Val and Gabe had ordered a cinnamon roll to share, and now Val was feeding a piece of it to Gabe as if the man had somehow managed to reach middle age and earn two Ph.D.s without ever having learned to feed himself. Theo just wanted to blow the bitter chunks of indignation.
Val said, “I certainly hope that the presence of this creature isn’t responsible for how I feel right now.” She licked icing from her fingers.
Right, Theo thought, the fact that you’ve fucked up all the previously fucked-up people in town and committed a string of felonies in the process shouldn’t be the rain on your little love parade. However, Theo did sub-scribe to the “honest mistake” school of law enforcement, and he honestly believed that she was trying to right a wrong by taking her patients off their medication. So although Val was currently irritating him like a porcu-pine suppository, he was honest enough to realize that he was merely jealous of what she had found with Gabe. That realized, Gabe started to irritate him as well.
“What do we do, Gabe? Tranquilize this thing? Shoot it? What?”
“Assuming it exists.”
“Assume it,” Theo spat. “I’m afraid if you wait for enough evidence to be sure, we’ll have to find you an ass donor, because this creature will have bitten yours off.”
“No need to be snotty, Theo. I’m just being sensibly skeptical, as any researcher would.”
“Theo,” Val said, “I can write you a scrip for some Valium. Might take the edge off your withdrawal symptoms.”
Theo scoffed. He didn’t scoff often, so he wasn’t good at it, and it appeared to Gabe and Val that he might be gacking up a hair ball.
“You all right?” Gabe asked.
“I’m fine. I was scoffing.”
“At what?”
“At Dr. Feelgood here wanting to give me a prescription for Valium so Winston Krauss can fill it with M&Ms.”
“I’d forgotten about that,” Val said. “Sorry.”
“It would appear that we have multifarious problems with which to deal, and I don’t have a clue where to start,” Theo said.
“Multifarious?” Gabe said.
“A shitload,” said Theo.
“I know what it means, Theo. I just can’t believe it came out of your mouth.”
Val laughed gaily at Gabe’s kinda-sorta humor. Theo glared at her.
Jenny, who was almost as cranky as Theo for having had to close H.P.‘s the night before and then open the restaurant in the morning when the morning girl called in sick, came by to refill their coffees.
“That’s your boss pulling up, isn’t it, Theo?” she asked, nodding toward the front. Out the window Theo could see Sheriff John Burton crawling out of his black Eldorado.
“Back door?” Theo said, urgent pleading in his eyes.
“Sure, through the kitchen and Howard’s office.”
Theo was up in a second and halfway to the kitchen when he noticed that Val and Gabe had missed the entire exchange and were staring into each other’s eyes. He ran back and slapped the table with his open palm. They looked at him as if they’d been dragged out of a dream.
“Attention,” Theo said, trying not to raise his voice. “Sheriff coming in? My boss? Deadly drug dealer? We’re criminals. We’ll be making a break for the back door? Now? Hello?”
“I’m not a criminal,” Gabe said. “I’m a biologist.”
Theo grabbed him by the front of the shirt and made for the kitchen, dragging the biologist behind him. The criminal shrink brought up the rear.
“I’m looking for Betsy Butler,” Burton said, flipping open a badge wallet as if everyone in the county didn’t immediately recognize his white Stetsonover-Armani look.
“What’s she done?” Jenny asked, putting herself between the sheriff and the door to the kitchen.
“That’s not your affair. I just need to talk to her.”
“Well, I’m on the floor alone, so you have to follow me if you want to talk or I’ll get behind.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine.” Jenny turned her back on the sheriff and went to the waitress station behind the counter to start a fresh pot of coffee.
Burton followed her, suppressing the urge to put her in a choke hold. “Do you know where she lives?”
“Yes,” Jenny said. “But she’s not home.” Jenny glanced back through the kitchen window to make sure that Theo and his bunch had made it through to Howard’s office.
Burton’s face was going red now. “Please. Could you tell me where she is?”
Jenny thought she could jerk this guy around for another ten minutes or so, but it didn’t look as if it was necessary. Besides, she was pissed at Betsy for calling in anyway. “She called in this morning with a spiritual emergency. Her words, by the way. The flu I can understand, but I’m working a double after closing last night over her spiritual emergency—”
“Where is Betsy Butler?” the sheriff barked.
Jenny jumped back a step. The man looked as if he might go for his gun any second. No wonder Theo had bolted out the back. “She said she was going with a group up to the Beer Bar Ranch. That they were being called by the spirit to make a sacrifice. Pretty weird, huh?”
“Was Joseph Leander going with her?”
“No one’s supposed to know about Betsy and Joseph.”
“I know about them. Was he going with her?”
“She didn’t say. She sounded a little spaced out.”
“Does Theo Crowe come in here?”
“Sometimes.” Jenny wasn’t volunteering anything to this creep. He was rude, he was mean, and he was wearing enough Aramis to choke a skunk.
“Has he been in here today?”
“No, haven’t seen him.”
Without a word, Burton turned and stormed out the door to his Cadillac. Jenny went back to the kitchen, where Gabe, Val, and Theo were standing by the fryers, trying to stay out of the way of the two cooks, who were flipping eggs and thrashing hash browns.
Gabe pointed to the back door. “It’s locked.”
“He’s gone,” Jenny said. “He was looking for Betsy and Joseph, but he asked about you, Theo. I think he’s going up to the Beer Bar to find Betsy.”
“What’s Betsy doing at the ranch?” Theo asked.