"It's the heat," I said, for it had turned warm.
"First time I've known it affect you," she replied. "I believe you're jealous."
Oh dear, trust Janet to put her finger on the truth and not hesitate to give voice to it.
"Don't talk nonsense," I snapped.
August passed. The church fete took up a good deal of time. It was held in the gardens of Seton Manor.
"Last year," said Aunt Amy Jane complacently, "Jessamy was here to help."
I tried to throw myself into the life of the village, but my heart wasn't in it. Not that it had ever been, but in the past everything had seemed comical. Now it was just infinitely boring.
At the beginning of September Jessamy came home for a week. I knew she was coming and I could scarcely wait to see her. I wondered what I should feel when I saw Joel again.
I was not invited to Seton Manor. "Jessamy will want to be with her parents for a while," said Aunt Amy Jane. "No intruders ... not even family."
She was coyly delighted with the marriage.
But it was like Jessamy to seek the first opportunity to come over and see me. She rode over looking very pretty in a dark blue riding habit and a jaunty hat with a tiny blue feather in it.
There was no doubt that she was happy. We hugged each other.
"Oh, Jessamy, it's been so miserable without you."
She was surprised. "Really, Anabel?"
"Here have I been stuck, doling out cups of tea from the urn at the garden party ... one penny a cup, but all in a good cause, and there have you been in romantic Italy with your fairy prince. Let me look at you, my sleeping beauty, who was awakened by a kiss."
"You talk such nonsense, Anabel ... you always did. I was wide awake, I do assure you. I was glad. Otherwise I should not have seen Joel."
"And he is all your fancy painted him?"
"Oh, he is ... he is."
"Why didn't you bring him over to see us?"
"He's not here. He has his work, you see, Anabel."
"Of course. And he doesn't mind your coming?"
"Oh no. He suggested it. He said: 'They'll all want to see you, your father and mother and your cousin... .' He mentioned you, Anabel. I think you made quite an impression on him. It was falling down the altar steps. Trust you."
"Yes, trust me. I must have looked rather peculiar in one of Sally's aprons, rather wet, my hair falling down and myself surrounded by roses."
"He told me about it. He laughed over it. He said he thought you very ..."
"Very what?"
"Amusing and ... attractive."
"I see you have married a man of discernment."
"He must have been, to have chosen me." Oh yes, Jessamy had changed. She had poise and confidence. He must have given her that. Oh, lucky Jessamy!
"There is so much I want to hear," I said. "I want to hear about Florence and honeymoons and life in the enchanted castle."
"You are interested, Anabel."
"Of course I'm interested."
"I'm going to suggest something."
"What?"
"When I go back, you come with me."
"Oh, Jessamy!" I cried. It was as though lights were flashing round me. Joy ... indescribable joy and then warnings. No, no. You must not. Why not? You know why.
"Don't you want to come, Anabel?" Her voice was blank. "I thought you were so interested."
"I am but ..."
"I thought you would love to come. You were just saying what a bore it was here... ."
"Well, it is just that ... Do you think I should?"
"What on earth do you mean?"
"Newly married and all that. The third party intruding. Two's company ..."
She burst out laughing. "It's not like that at all. We are not alone in a house of our own. We're at the castle and there are the rest of them there. It's not that I see Joel very much."
"Oh, you don't see much of him?"
"He has his place in the town. That's where he works. Sometimes he stays in town. It can be a little lonely."
"Lonely? What about David and Emerald, not to mention little Esmond and Grandpapa?"
"The castle is vast. You have never lived in a castle, Anabel."
"No, I haven't. Nor had you until you made this brilliant marriage."
"Don't talk about it like that."
"How?"
"As though you were making fun."
"You know my flippant ways, Jessamy. They don't mean much. The last thing I would do is make fun of your marriage. You deserve to be happy. You're such a good person."
"Oh, nonsense," said Jessamy.
I kissed her.
"You've become sentimental," she said.
"Jessamy," I answered, "I'm coming back with you."
There were of course a great many things to settle.
"Yes, you must go," said my father. "It will do you good. You haven't been quite yourself lately."
"Can you manage without me?"
"Of course. There are plenty of willing helpers in the village."
It was true. As a widower my father always had a stream of middle-aged and elderly ladies eager to ingratiate themselves into his good graces. He never saw through their motives and thought it was the church they were interested in. He was a very innocent man. I did not take after him one bit.
I should need new clothes, said Jessamy, and came over with a pile of dresses. "I was sorting them," she said. "I was going to turn them out."
Janet was pleased and said she was itching to get her fingers on them. She was all in favor of my visit to Mateland. I think she was fond of me in her undemonstrative way and thought my only chance of getting the right sort of husband was through Jessamy. She had been hoping for coming-out balls for me, shared with Jessamy, of course, and assuring herself that I would be the one who would get the suitors.
Aunt Amy Jane was unsure.
"Wait awhile," she said. "Let Anabel visit you later."
But Jessamy was adamant for once and so on a golden September day she and I were seated side by side in a first-class carriage and chuffing along to Mateland.
There was a halt which had been made especially for Mateland and a board stating Mateland Castle was on the platform. We alighted and a carriage accompanied by a man in livery was waiting for us. He bowed and took our hand luggage. He said to Jessamy: "The rest will be collected by the wagon, madam."
And soon we were trotting along the road to the castle.
I shall never forget my first glimpse of it. You have seen it, Suewellyn. I showed it to you and you were as impressed with it as I was. So I will not go into lengthy details describing it to you. You do not need me to tell you of the grandeur of those thick stone walls, of the impressive gatehouse and the machicolated towers and narrow slits of windows.
It enchanted me. There was a golden haze in the air, and I felt as though I were on the threshold of some exciting drama in which I was to play a major part.
"I can see you're impressed by the castle," said Jessamy. "Everyone is. When I first saw it I thought it had come out of one of the fairy stories we used to read, do you remember?"
"I do. There was usually a princess who was a captive in them and had to be rescued."
"And the princesses were all beautiful with long yellow hair. Your color, Anabel."
"I don't think I fit the role somehow. You're the princess, Jessamy. Awakened from years of slumber at Seton by Prince Joel's kiss."
"Oh, I am glad you came, Anabel."
We went under the gatehouse and into a courtyard. Grooms hurried out and we alighted from the carriage.
"Thank you, Evans," said Jessamy, very dignified. I thought that life in a castle suited her.
You have seen the outside of the castle, Suewellyn, but not the interior. Believe me, the inside is equally enthralling. The past seems to rush at you and envelop you when you enter the hall. I am not surprised that the Matelands all seem to revere the place. It has been there for centuries. It was built by one of their ancestors years ago, although in the twelfth century it was little more than a fortress. It has been added to through the ages. I think they loved every stone. It has been cherished by them, enhanced by them. It is their home and their pride. Even I began to feel something of its magnetism although my connection with it was through Jessamy, who had married into it.