I saw him in the small parlor which led from the hall. He stood before me, nervously twirling his cap round.
"I had to speak to you quick, Miss Susannah," he said. "I want to know whether I have a chance of Mrs. Bell's cottage."
"Oh, but ..." I began. "Well, it is all but decided."
His face fell. "Then I'm sorry to have troubled you, miss," he said, and turned away.
There was something so despairing about the droop of his shoulders that I detained him. I noticed that he was about eighteen years old and good-looking.
I said: "Just a moment. Don't go yet. Why are you so anxious to have the cottage?"
"I want to get married, miss."
"Well," I told him, "you can wait awhile, can't you? There'll be other cottages in due course."
"We can't wait," he muttered. "Thank you, miss. I just thought there might be a chance."
"You can't wait," I said. And then: "Tell me who you are going to marry."
"Leah Cringle, miss."
"Oh," I said; and then: "Sit down a moment."
He sat down and I looked at him steadily. "Leah is going to have a baby, is that it?" I asked.
He flushed to the roots of his hair. Then he grinned, but it was not a grin of pleasure. Embarrassment and panic would describe it better.
"Yes, miss, that's about it. If we had a place to go to we could get married."
"Can't you get married without the cottage?"
"There'd be nowhere for her ... Leah would have to stay at Cringles' farm. Life wouldn't be worth living for her. The only way is for us to get married on the sly ... and then go into a cottage together."
"I see," I said. "Yes, I do understand. The roof has to be thatched, you know. You would want the place done up a bit."
He was staring at me incredulously.
I went on: "I can see how difficult it would be for Leah at Cringles' farm. I suppose I ought to say you should have thought of this before... ."
"I know, miss. You always ought to ... but somehow you don't. She's awful pretty and one day she was crying. Something had happened. Something's always happening at Cringles'... . It's all prayers and doing so much good and making everybody miserable. And then ... afore I knew what was happening ... and once it had begun it went on. I love Leah, miss, and she loves me and there's nothing we want more than our little baby... ."
I felt a great lump in my throat. I don't care what Jeff says, I thought. I don't care what Malcolm says. I'm the Queen of the Castle.
"All right," I said. "You shall have the cottage. There's no sense in delay. Get married and move in. You can clean it up, can't you? Better say nothing until you and Leah are married. The Cringles are odd people."
"Oh, miss, do you mean it?"
"I mean it. The cottage is yours. Go and tell Leah and don't forget it's a secret ... as yet."
"Oh, miss," he said, "I dunno what to say."
"In that case, say nothing. I know how you feel, so you have no need to tell me."
I rode straight over to Jeffs house. Malcolm was there. Malcolm was often there. One would have thought the castle was his by the way he concerned himself in its affairs.
I blurted out right away: "I've settled the business of the Bell cottage. Jack Chivers is having it."
"Jack Chivers!" cried Jeff. "He's only a boy. The Baddocks come before him."
"The Baddocks will have to wait. Jack Chivers is having it."
"Why?" demanded Malcolm.
I turned to him. "The castle estate is mine," I said. "I am the one who makes the decisions. I have already told Jack Chivers that he can have the cottage."
"But it seems unreasonable," said Jeff soothingly.
"In fact there is a very good reason why he should have it. Leah Cringle is going to have his baby. They want to get married right away. They need the cottage."
Both of the men were staring at me.
"Imagine Leah Cringle's living with those dreadful parents of hers," I went on passionately. "To say nothing of the old grandfather. Of course, she can't. I have a strange feeling that if something isn't done she will do away with herself. It's up to me to look after these people. Leah and Jack Chivers are going to have the cottage and there is an end of the matter."
I could see that both men thought it was foolish to allow a woman to make decisions. She responded to the urge of the heart and they, being shrewd businessmen, knew that the head should always rule.
I laughed inwardly. It was for them to remember that I was the one who commanded.
The next day I went over to the cottage and as I stood in the bedroom I heard the door open cautiously. I went down the stairs. Jack Chivers was standing there with Leah. They were looking round with rapturous wonder. The transformation in Leah was miraculous. I had never seen anyone express greater happiness.
And I had done this.
I experienced one of those supremely happy moments which come rarely and are usually brief when they do.
"Come to inspect your new home?" I asked.
Leah ran to me. Then she did a strange thing. She knelt and, taking my skirt by the hem, she lifted it to her lips and kissed it.
"Leah," I said, fighting back my emotion, "get up at once. Tell me, are you going to change the wallpaper?"
During the next few weeks I was really happy, which meant that I could go for several hours at a stretch without remembering the sight of that devastated island and the terrible sense of loss for my loved ones; and at the same time I did not brood on the enormity of this masquerade which I had undertaken and ask myself how I could ever have been drawn into it.
The reason was that I was beginning to be more and more involved in the affairs of the castle estate. I relished the involvement. I felt I had been born to do just that. If only I had been in truth Susannah, how contented I could have been!
I was delighted to see the change in Leah; she was a beautiful girl and happiness accentuated her beauty. She and Jack Chivers were in a state of bliss. They spent every spare moment in the cottage getting it ready; the roof had been thatched and the place was beginning to look very different from the way it had during Mrs. Bell's occupation. I found some curtains in the castle which could be cut down and fitted to the windows. Leah's gratitude shone out of her eyes.
Of course there was some opposition and particularly from the Baddocks. It seemed, was the comment, that some people were rewarded for their sins and the righteous sent empty away.
Jeff Carleton agreed with that. I don't think Malcolm did. However, it was my will and, whatever anyone thought about it, they could do nothing.
I managed to placate the Baddocks by promising them the next cottage which fell vacant and they were, to a certain extent, mollified.
I was discovering a new talent in myself. I had always been interested in people. I understood them because I could put myself in their place; and this stood me in good stead. I was beginning to win confidences and this was quite an achievement, for Susannah had been very unpredictable—showing friendship one day and seeming to be unaware of people's existence the next. But I was winning through. I knew this by the way they discussed their problems with me and that I was beginning to erase the impression Susannah had made on them and replace it with my own.
Not only did it please me to be able to help, but always at the back of my mind was the thought: Is it so bad if I can do good to them? If I can make them happier than they would have been under Susannah, can it be so wicked? It did not alter the fact that it was fraud, but I could do some good through it. Susannah was not here to enjoy this so I was not taking anything away from her. But this should be Malcolm's.
Malcolm! He was constantly in my thoughts. Ever since the day when I had said that Jack Chivers should have the cottage Malcolm and I had spent a good deal of time in each other's company.