I sensed a human agency at work.
I sensed a human agency with an interest in Selwick Hall, the Purple Gentian, Miles, Henrietta, or all of the above. A human agency that worked for the French. Any spy who chose a name like the Black Tulip wouldn't scruple at playing a bit of dress-up. What better costume than that of a phantom monk? The habit provided complete concealment, and if anyone spotted the dark figure drifting through the grounds, as Henrietta had, they would simply chalk it up to the unquiet spirit of the Phantom Monk, endlessly searching for his lost love.
On the way over to Donwell Abbey, I had compiled a mental list of questions. Topping the charts was how widely spread the local ghost story had been in 1803. Was it, for example, the sort of information that would have been available to a French operative based in London? One assumed friends of the Selwick family would have heard the ghost story, as well as anyone who came from that part of Sussex. The Marquise de Montval originally hailed from Yorkshire, which meant that if the story was an entirely local affair, she was out, as was Mme Fiorila, the Italian opera singer.
Damn, I had no idea where Vaughn's family seat was. I wondered if Colin's library boasted a suitably antiquated copy of Debrett's Peerage and Baronetage.
"They tried the local ghost story on me when I took the parish," said the vicar confidentially, as we wandered away from the drinks table to let others partake, "but I must say, there have been little in the way of manifestations so far."
"I can't imagine that a ghost would last long in this house," I commented, looking around at the heavy dark woodwork and clusters of little tables crammed with silver-framed photographs. "He'd probably be afraid of bumping into something."
The vicar chuckled. "Or he's run off in aesthetic distress."
I grinned. "Do you think he's tried to engineer an exchange with another ghost? Can't you just see the want ads? Phantom Monk, 550 years old, seeks drafty castle for hauntings, howlings, and long country walks."
"Why be so old-fashioned?" asked the vicar, with a swig of his drink. "What d'you say we propose a special edition of Changing Rooms for the spirit world?"
"I love it!" I sputtered into my largely untouched glass of wine. We waxed more than a little silly plotting out the first two episodes. There's nothing like having the Hound of the Baskervilles redesign the House of Usher — after the fall, of course.
Colin's head turned, seeking the source of the hilarity. I gave a little wave.
"Should we go rescue your bloke, d'you think?" asked the vicar, swirling the dregs of his gin and tonic.
"He's not my bloke," I replied quickly. I glanced back at Colin and Joan; Joan was glowering at me again. "Although that does seem to be the general misapprehension around here."
"Hmm," said the vicar.
I started to put my hands on my hips, and remembered just in time that that was not the brightest thing to do while holding a glass of wine.
"Nothing like that!" I protested. "I'm just using his archives."
"Ah," commented the vicar, "so that's what they're calling it now."
"Don't," I said. "Just don't. Are you coming with me on this rescue mission, or do I have to go over the top alone?"
"I'll be along" — the vicar rattled his ice cubes and beamed beatifically — "just as soon as I top up my drink."
I looked reproachfully at him. "Whatever happened to that crusading spirit?"
"Go with God, dear child," he said in sepulchral tones, making me laugh as I headed off on the Colin Rescue Expedition.
Joan looked less than thrilled to see me back so soon; I suppose she had been hoping the vicar would keep me safely by the drinks table.
She made the best of a bad situation by giving my borrowed cocktail dress a condescending once-over. It was a Wrap dress of the sort that had been popular a couple of years before, with black, green, and white blocks of color overlapping in a vaguely geometrical pattern. I hadn't felt quite so bad borrowing something that had been left behind as clearly out of date; not to mention the main joy of wrap dresses — they aren't quite one-size-fits-all, but it was certainly better than trying to wiggle into one of Serena's old sheath dresses, which clearly came from a scarily skinny phase as well as from an era of higher hems. They would have been too tight, too short, or both. Pammy would certainly have approved, which was more than enough reason for not wearing them.
"What a charming frock," Joan commented, with a disdainful smirk. "I had one like that, too — two years ago."
"It's on loan from Serena's closet," I explained innocently. "She has excellent taste, don't you think?"
It was almost too much fun watching Joan squirm. Taking pity, I said, "You have a lovely home."
I regretted my charitable impulse almost immediately, as Joan embarked on a long monologue about country pursuits clearly designed to make me feel like an ignorant outsider. What it did accomplish was making me wish I hadn't resolved to be alcoholically abstinent this evening; Thursday night's revelry (or, more accurately, Friday morning's hangover) had been enough to make me swear off overindulgence forever. Half an hour of Joan, however, would have sent Carrie Nation fleeing for the bottle.
"Do you ride?" Joan asked, in the tone of one who expects — indeed, hopes — the answer will be negative.
I had ridden, actually, years and years ago, in the grips of the inevitable "I want a pony" phase that attacks eight-year-old girls as inevitably as the chicken pox. One bout of lice had cured me of the riding bug, combined with the realization that I wouldn't be allowed to ride bareheaded through the fields, leaping over things like National Velvet.
I saw no reason to go into this with Joan. Among other things, I had the sneaking suspicion that any admission of equestrian ability would prompt her to arrange for us all to go riding — I had no intention of falling into that trap, and finding myself falling, quite literally, into a ditch somewhere. I like my collarbone where it is, thank you very much.
"Usually the bus," I replied cheerfully.
Joan looked at me uncomprehendingly. "What an unusual name."
It was my turn to look uncomprehending. Was there a crucial piece of British slang I had missed?
"That is what they're usually called."
Next to me, Colin started making little gurgling noises.
Joan seized the opportunity to pound him on the back. "Quite," sputtered Colin, "all right. Don't" — sputter, choke — "mind me."
Joan was all solicitude. "We must get you some water," she gushed, employing her patented towing technique. Whatever athletic activities she engaged in, they had developed some very strong arm muscles; she had Colin off to the other side of the room before he could regain his breath.
I found myself standing entirely alone in a roomful of strangers. "Lovely to see you, too," I muttered under my breath. A girl with long wavy hair who had been standing about a foot away, observing, crossed the distance with a friendly smile. "Hello."
A human! Addressing me! I could have hugged her. There's nothing more demoralizing than standing alone at a party — unless it's tagging along after someone who palpably doesn't want you there. I'd be damned if I was going to trail along after Joan and Colin to the drinks table. If he wanted to extricate himself, he could bloody well do it himself.
He didn't seem to be trying all that hard.
Following my gaze, my new companion said, "Don't mind Joan. She's been out of sorts ever since Colin chucked her."
"Was it recent?" I tried not to sound too interested.
"About twenty years ago — Joan was eight at the time, and she's been impossible to live with since." She stuck out a hand. "I'm Sally, Joan's sister."