But, within a month of my marriage, my father was taken ill and died; and with his death came ruin. Unknown to us all, even to my mother, the former Sophia Duport, he had committed all his capital to ruinous speculations, had borrowed most injudiciously, and, as a consequence, left us almost destitute. The house, of course, had to be sold, along with my father’s prized collection of Roman coins; and there was no question now that my new wife and I could make a new life for ourselves in London. My poor mother suffered greatly with the shame of it all, and if it had not been for the generosity of her noble nephew, in immediately offering me a position as his private secretary, together with accommodation for us all with his stepmother in the Dower House at Evenwood, I do not well know what we should have done. I owe him everything.
At the time that I took up my employment, my cousin was married to his first wife, Laura, Lady Tansor, whose people, like my father’s, were from the West Country. There had recently been a rift between Lord and Lady Tansor, apparently now healed, during which her Ladyship had left her husband to spend over a year in France. She had returned from the Continent in late September 1820, a changed woman.
I cannot think of her Ladyship without affection. It is impossible. I acknowledge that her character was flawed, in many ways; but when I first knew her, in the early years of her marriage to my cousin, she seemed to my impressionable mind to be like Spenser’s Cyprian goddess, ‘newly borne of th’ Oceans fruitfull froth’.* I was already in love with Miss Hunt-Graham, and had eyes for no one else; but I was flesh and blood, and no young man so composed could fail to admire Lady Tansor. She was all beauty, all grace, all spirit; lively, amusing, accomplished in so many ways; a soul, as I may say, so fully alive that it made those around her seem like dumb automata. The contrast with my cousin, her husband, could not have been greater, for he was by nature grave and reserved, and in every way the opposite of his vivacious wife; yet, for a time, they had seemed curiously suited to each other; each, as it were, neutralizing the excesses of the other’s temperament.
I had almost daily opportunity to observe my cousin and his wife after the latter’s return from France. I had been given a work-room adjoining the Library at Evenwood, on the ground floor of what is called Hamnet’s Tower,† the upper storey of which comprised the Muniments Room, containing legal documents, accounts, estate and private correspondence, inventories, and so forth, relating to the Duport family, and dating to the time of the 1st Baron Tansor in the thirteenth century. To this work-room I would come every day to undertake my duties, which soon also began to encompass general stewardship of the Library – then uncatalogued – after I evinced an informed interest in the manuscript books, stored in the Muniments Room, which had been collected by our grandfather.
My first duty of the morning would be to call upon my cousin at eight o’clock to receive his instructions for the day. He would usually be taking breakfast with his wife in what was known as the Yellow Parlour, sitting at a small table set in a bow-window, looking out upon a secluded walled garden on the south side of the house. Lady Tansor had been back in England, and seemingly reconciled with her husband, for nearly a year when I began my employment at Evenwood. A portrait of her, begun before the rift of which I have just spoken, hung unfinished on one of the walls of this modest apartment, and provided a salutary daily reminder of the strange transformation of her physical appearance that had taken place since the artist had first begun to paint her – from the dazzling, captivating beauty of former times, with proud flashing eyes and abundant raven hair, to the gaunt and slightly stooped figure, her hair now prematurely flecked with grey, who sat opposite her husband each morning, come rain or shine, and whatever the season, silently staring out over his shoulder into the garden, whilst he, with his back to the window, read The Times and drank his coffee. Such a change! And so sad to see! As I entered the room each morning, she barely noticed my presence, and would take no part in my conversations with her husband. Sometimes she would rise absently from the table, letting her napkin drop to the floor, and, without a word, would drift from the room like some poor ghost.
She would spend days on end, especially during the dreary winter weeks, shut away in her rooms above the Library, and generally saw no one, except her maid and her companion, Miss Eames, and of course her husband at meal-times. But, as time went by, she would sometimes, and on a sudden, take it into her head to go up to town, or to some other place, regardless of the weather and the state of the roads. Once, for instance, she insisted, with something of her old force, that she absolutely must go to see an old friend, and so off she went to the South Coast in the midst of a most ferocious downpour, accompanied only by Miss Eames, to the considerable disapproval of my cousin, and the consternation of those of us who loved her and fretted after her well-being. This, I see from my journal, was towards the close of the year 1821.
I remember the incident particularly because, after she returned from the coast, she appeared to have regained a little of her former spirit, almost as if a weight had been lifted from her. Little by little, she began to show her husband small considerations, and as I came into the Yellow Parlour of a morning I would sometimes even catch her smiling at some trifling pleasantry of Lord Tansor’s – a slight, pained smile, to be sure; but it gladdened my heart to see it. Then, as the spring came on, she began to busy herself a little – planning a new area of garden, replacing the window-curtains in her private sitting-room, arranging a weekend party for some of her husband’s political associates, sometimes accompanying his Lordship to town. And so a kind of contentment returned to my cousin’s marriage, though things were not – nor ever would be – as they had been formerly, and my Lady’s eyes never regained the radiant energy captured so well in the unfinished portrait that hung by the breakfast-table in the Yellow Parlour.
This partial restoration of happiness between my cousin and his wife, muted and delicate though it was, continued, culminating in an announcement, made to the general delight of their many friends, that her Ladyship was with child. Lord Tansor’s joy at the news was plain for all to see, for it had been the cause of much distress and anxiety for my cousin that his union with Lady Tansor had, so far, denied him the thing he desired above all others: an heir of his own body.
The change in him was quite remarkable. I even remember hearing him whistle, something I had never heard him do before, as he was coming down the stairs one morning, a little later than usual, to take his breakfast. He became wonderfully solicitous towards his wife, showing her every attention she could have desired; so absorbed in her welfare did he become that he would often send me away of a morning, saying that he could not put his mind to business at such a time, or reprimanding me sharply for intruding when, as he said, I could see that her Ladyship was tired, or that her Ladyship needed his company that morning, or strongly conveying by word or look some other mark of his determination to do nothing else that day but devote himself to my Lady’s service.