MORTAL: I still refuse.
GOD: So you refuse my offer to remove your free will. This is rather different from your original prayer isn’t it?
MORTAL: Now I see what you are up to. Your argument is ingenious, but I’m not sure it is really correct. There are some points we will have to go over again.
GOD: Certainly.
MORTAL: There are two things you said which seem contradictory to me. First you said that one cannot sin unless one does so of one’s own free will. But then you said that you would give me a pill which would deprive me of my own free will, and then I could sin as much as I liked. But if I no longer had free will, then, according to your first statement, how could I be capable of sinning?
GOD: You are confusing two separate parts of our conversations. I never said the pill would deprive you of your free will, but only that it would remove your abhorrence of sinning.
MORTAL: I’m afraid I’m a bit confused.
GOD: All right, then let us make a fresh start. Suppose I agree to remove your free will, but with the understanding that you will then commit an enormous number of acts which you now regard as sinful. Technically speaking you will not then be sinning since you will not be doing these acts of your own free will. And these acts will carry no moral responsibility, nor moral culpability, nor any punishment whatsoever. Nevertheless, these acts will all be of the type which you presently regard as sinful; they will all have this quality which you presently feel as abhorrent, but your abhorrence will disappear; so you will not then feel abhorrence toward the acts.
MORTAL: No, I have present abhorrence toward the acts, and this present abhorrence is sufficient to prevent me from accepting your proposal.
GOD: Hm! So let me get this absolutely straight. I take it you no longer wish me to remove your free will.
MORTAL (reluctantly): No, I guess not.
GOD: All right, I agree not to. But I am still not exactly clear as to why you no longer wish to be rid of your free will. Please tell me again.
MORTAL: Because, as you have told me, without free will I would sin even more than I do now.
GOD: But I have already told you that without free will you cannot sin.
MORTAL: But If I choose now to be rid of free will, then all my subsequent actions will be sins, not of the future, but of the present moment in which I choose not to have free will.
GOD: Sounds like you are pretty badly trapped, doesn’t it?
MORTAL: Of course I am trapped! You have placed me in a hideous double bind. Now whatever I do is wrong. If I retain free will, I will continue to sin, and if I abandon free will (with your help, of course), I will now be sinning in so doing.
GOD: But by the same token, you place me in a double blind. I am willing to leave you free will or remove it as you choose, but neither alternative satisfies you. I wish to help you, but it seems I cannot.
MORTAL: True!
GOD: But since it is not my fault, why are you still angry with me?
MORTAL: For having placed me in such a horrible predicament in the first place!
GOD: But, according to you, there is nothing satisfactory I could have done.
MORTAL: You mean there is nothing satisfactory you can do now, but that does not mean that there is nothing you could have done.
GOD: Why? What could I have done?
MORTAL: Obviously you should never have given me free will in the first place. Now that you have given it to me, it is too late—anything I do will be bad. But you should never have given it to me in the first place.
GOD: Oh, that’s it! Why would it have been better had I never given it to you?
MORTAL: Because then I never would have been capable of sinning at all.
GOD: Well, I’m always glad to learn from my mistakes.
MORTAL: What!
GOD: I know, that sounds sort of blasphemous, doesn’t it? It almost involves a logical paradox! On the one hand, as you have been taught, it is morally wrong for any sentient being to claim that I am capable of making mistakes. On the other hand, I have the right to do anything. But I am also a sentient being. So the question is, Do I do or do I not have the right to claim that I am capable of making mistakes?
MORTAL: That is a bad joke! One of your premises is simply false. I have not been taught that it is wrong for any sentient being to doubt your omniscience, but only for a mortal to doubt it. But since you are not mortal, then you are obviously free from this injunction.
GOD: Good, so you realize this on a rational level. Nevertheless, you did appear shocked when I said “I am always glad to learn from my mistakes.”
MORTAL: Of course I was shocked. I was shocked not by your self-blasphemous (as you jokingly called it), not by the fact that you had no right to say it, but just by the fact that you did say it, since I have been taught that as a matter of fact you don’t make mistakes. So I was amazed that you claimed that it is possible for you to make mistakes.
GOD: I have not claimed that it is possible. All I am saying is that if I made mistakes, I will be happy to learn from them. But this says nothing about whether the if has or ever can be realized.
MORTAL: Let’s please stop quibbling about this point. Do you or do you not admit it was a mistake to haven given me free will?
GOD: Well now, this is precisely what I propose we should investigate. Let me review your present predicament. You don’t want to have free will because with free will you can sin, and you don’t want to sin. (Though I still find this puzzling; in a way you must want to sin, or you wouldn’t. But let this pass for now.) On the other hand, if you agreed to give up free will, then you would now be responsible for the acts of the future. Ergo, I should never have given you free will in the first place.
MORTAL: Exactly!
GOD: I understand exactly how you feel. Many mortals—even some theologians—have complained that I have been unfair in that it was I, not they, who decided that they should have free will and since then I hold them responsible for their actions. In other words, they feel that they are expected to live up to a contract with me which they never agreed to in the first place.
MORTAL: Exactly!
GOD: As I said, I understand the feeling perfectly. And I can appreciate the justice of the complaint. But the complaint arises only from an unrealistic understanding of the true issues involved. I am about to enlighten you as to what these are; and I think the results will surprise you! But instead of telling you outright, I shall continue to use the Socratic method.
To repeat, you regret that I ever gave you free will. I claim that when you see the true ramifications you will no longer have this regret. To prove my point, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, I am about to create a new universe—a new space time continuum. In this new universe will be born a mortal just like you—for all practical purposes, we might say that you will be reborn. Now, I can give this new mortal—this new you—free will or not. What would you like me to do?