"I am honored, m-my king," Uwaine stammered, his face glowing, and in that moment Morgaine saw something of how Arthur had inspired such great devotion.
"Uriens, my good brother-in-law," said Arthur, "I leave the Queen in your care-remain at Camelot and guard her till I return." He bent to kiss Gwenhwyfar's hand. "My lady, I beg you to excuse us from further feasting-there is war upon us again."
Gwenhwyfar was white as her shift. "And you know it is welcome to you, my lord. God keep you, dear husband." And she leaned forward to kiss him. He rose and went down from the dais, beckoning.
"Gawaine, Lionel, Gareth-all of you-Companions, attend me!"
Lancelet delayed for a moment before following him. "Bid me also God's blessing as I ride, my queen."
"Oh, God-Lancelet-" Gwenhwyfar said, and, regardless of the eyes on her, she flung herself into his arms. He held her, gently, speaking so softly that Morgaine could not hear, but Morgaine saw that she was weeping. But when she raised her head her face was dry and tearless. "God speed you, my dearest love."
"And God keep you, love of my heart," Lancelet said very softly. "Whether I return or no, may he bless you." He turned to Morgaine. "Now indeed do I rejoice that you are to pay a visit to Elaine. You must bear my greetings to my dear wife, and tell her I have gone with Arthur to the rescue of my kinsman Bors from this knave who calls himself the Emperor Lucius. Tell her I pray God to keep her and care for her, and send my love to our children."
He stood for a moment silent, and for a moment Morgaine thought he would kiss her too; instead, smiling, he laid his hand against her cheek. "God bless you too, Morgaine-whether or no you want his blessing." He turned to join Arthur where the Companions were gathering in the lower hall.
Uriens came to the dais and bowed to Gwenhwyfar. "I am at your service, my lady."
If she laughs at the old man, Morgaine thought with a sudden, fierce protectiveness, I will slap her! Uriens meant well, and the duty was no more than ceremonial, a minor tribute to kinship; Camelot would be very well in the hands of Cai and Lucan, as always. But Gwenhwyfar was accustomed to diplomacy at court. She said gravely, "I thank you, sir Uriens. You are most welcome here. Morgaine is my dear friend and sister, and I will be happy to have her near me at court again."
Oh, Gwenhwyfar, Gwenhwyfar, what a liar you are! Morgaine said sweetly, "But I must ride forth and visit my kinswoman Elaine. Lancelet charged me to bear his news."
"You are always kind," said Uriens, "and since the war is not in our countryside, but across the channel, you shall go when you wish. I would ask Accolon to escort you, but it is likely he must ride with Arthur to the coast."
He really would leave me in Accolon's care; he thinks good of everyone, Morgaine thought, and kissed her husband with real warmth. "When I have paid my visit to Elaine, my lord, may I have leave to visit my kinswoman in Avalon?"
"You may do your own will, my lady," said Uriens, "but before you go, will you unpack my things? My valet can never do it so well as you. And will you leave some of your herbal salves and medicines for me?"
"To be sure," she said, and as she went to make all ready for her journey, she thought with resignation that no doubt, before they parted, he would want to sleep with her this night. Well, she had endured it before this, she could do so again.
What a whore I have grown!
12
Morgaine knew that she dared make this journey only if she made it one step at a time, one league at a time, one day at a time. Her first step, then, was to Pellinore's castle; bitter irony, that her first mission was a kindly message to Lancelet's wife and his children.
All that first day she followed the old Roman road northward through rolling hills. Kevin had offered to escort her, and she had been tempted; the old fear gripped her, that she would not find the way to Avalon this time either, not dare to summon the Avalon barge; that she would wander again into the fairy country and be lost there forever. She had not dared go after Viviane's death ... .
But now she must meet this test, as when she had first been made priestess ... cast out of Avalon alone, with no test save this, that she must be able somehow to return ... by her own strength, not Kevin's, she must win entry there again.
Still she was frightened; it had been so long.
On the fourth day she came within sight of Pellinore's castle, and at noon of that day, riding along the marshy shores of the lake which now bore no trace of the dragon which once had lurked there (though her serving-man and woman shivered and clung together and told each other horrible tales of dragons), she caught sight of the somewhat smaller dwelling which Pellinore had given to Elaine and Lancelet when they were wedded.
It was more villa than castle; in these days of peace there were not many fortified places in that countryside. Broad lawns sloped down toward the road, and as Morgaine rode up toward the house, a flock of geese sent up a great squawk.
A well-dressed chamberlain greeted her, asking her name and business.
"I am the lady Morgaine, wife of King Uriens of North Wales. I bear a message from the lord Lancelet."
She was taken to a room where she could wash and refresh herself, then conducted to the great hall, where a fire burned and wheat cakes were set before her, with honey and a flask of good wine. Morgaine found herself yawning at the ceremoniousness of this-she was, after all, a kinswoman, not a state visitor. After a time, a small boy peered into the room, and when he saw that she was alone, came in. He was fair, with blue eyes and a splashing of golden freckles on his face, and she knew at once whose son he was, though he was nothing like his father.
"Are you the lady Morgaine that they call Morgaine of the Fairies?"
Morgaine said, "I am. And I am your cousin, Galahad."
"How do you know my name?" he asked suspiciously. "Are you a sorceress? Why do they call you Morgaine of the Fairies?"
She said, "Because I am of the old royal line of Avalon, and fostered there. And I know your name, not from sorcery, but because you look like your mother, who is also my kinswoman."
"My father's name is Galahad too," said the child, "but the Saxons call him Elf-arrow."
"I came here to bear your father's greetings to you, and to your mother, and to your sisters too," Morgaine said.
"Nimue is a silly girl," said Galahad. "She is a big girl, five years old, but she cried when my father came and would not let him pick her up and kiss her, because she did not recognize him. Do you know my father?"
"Indeed I do," said Morgaine. "His mother, the Lady of the Lake, was my foster-mother and my aunt."
He looked skeptical and frowned. "My mother told me that the Lady of the Lake is an evil sorceress."
"Your mother is-" Morgaine stopped and softened the words; he was, after all, only a child. "Your mother did not know the Lady as I did. She was a good and wise woman, and a great priestess."
"Oh?" She could see Galahad struggling with this concept. "Father Griffin says that only men can be priests, because men are made in God's image and women are not. Nimue said that she wanted to be a priest when she grew up, and learn to read and write and play upon the harp, and Father Griffin told her that no woman could do all these things, or any of them."
"Then Father Griffin is mistaken," said Morgaine, "for I can do them all and more."