The doctors hinted that I was malingering and suggested that I do it elsewhere. Jeff Claggett gave me a stern scolding.
“You don’t want to marry Nolton. You shouldn’t marry her. Why not lay it on the line with her, instead of pulling the sick act?”
“Well... I do like her, Jeff,” I said. “And she saved my life, you know.”
“Oh, hell! She was goofing off when she should have been on the job, and we both know it.”
“Well... but I promised to marry her. I didn’t think I’d ever be free of Connie at the time, but—”
“That wasn’t a promise, dammit! Anyway, you’ve got a right to change your mind. You shouldn’t go ahead with something that’s all wrong to keep a promise that should never have been made.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” I said. “I’ll have a talk with Kay as soon as I get some other things out of the way.”
“What things?”
“Well...”
“You’ve got a go-ahead on your erosion book and a hefty advance from the publisher. You’re getting a good settlement on your condemnation suit; my lawyer friend says it will be coming through any day now. So what the hell are you waiting for?”
“Nothing,” I said firmly. “And I won’t wait any longer.”
“Good! You’ll settle with Nolton right away, then?”
“You bet I will,” I said. “Maybe not right away, but...”
He cursed, and stamped out of the room.
The phone rang, and of course it was Kay.
“Just one question, Britt Rainstar,” she said. “How much longer do you plan on staying in that hospital?”
“What’s the difference?” I said. “My divorce hasn’t come through yet.”
“Hasn’t it?” she said. “Hasn’t it?”
“I, uh, well—” I laughed nervously. “I haven’t received the papers yet, but I believe I did hear that, uh— My goodness, Kay,” I said, “you surely don’t think that I don’t want to marry you.”
“That’s exactly what I think, Britt.”
“Well, shame on you,” I said. “The very idea!”
“Then, when are you leaving the hospital?”
“Very soon,” I said. “Practically any day now.”
She slammed down the phone.
I lay back on the pillows and closed my eyes.
I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. My shame increased as the days drifted by and I stayed on in the hospital. The naive, evasive-child manner I maintained was evidence of my general feeling of hopeless unworthiness. The I-ain’t-nothin’-but-a-hound-dawg routine set to different music.
Whatever I did, I was bound to make someone unhappy, and I have always shrunk from doing that. I am always terribly unhappy when I make others unhappy.
I wondered what in the name of God I could tell Manny. After all, I had told her that the only reason I didn’t marry her was because I couldn’t. I was married to Connie, and there was no way I could dissolve our marriage. Now, however, I was free of Connie, and Manny was free of her husband. So how could I possibly tell her that I was marrying Kay Nolton?
I was wrestling with the riddle the afternoon she came to see me, the first time I had seen her since that seemingly long-ago day when she had come to the house.
I stalled on giving her the news about Kay, staving it off by complimenting her on how nice she looked. She thanked me and said she certainly hoped she looked nice.
“You see, I’m getting married, Britt,” she said. “I thought you should be the first to know.”
I gulped and said, “Oh,” thinking that that took me off the hook all right — or sank it into me. “Well, I hope you’ll be very happy, Manny.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I’m sure I will be.”
“Is it, uh, anyone I know?”
“We-el, no...” She shook her head. “I don’t believe you do. You’re going to get acquainted with him, because I intend to see that you do. And I think you’ll like him — the real him — a lot better than the man you think you know.”
“Uh, what?” I frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, you’d just better!” Her voice rose, broke into joyous laughter. “You’d better, you nutty, mixed-up mixed-blood, or I’ll take your pretty gray-streaked scalp!”
She came to me at a run, flung herself down on the bed with me.
Naturally, the bed collapsed noisily.
We were picking ourselves up when the door slammed open and a nurse came rushing in. She had red hair and beautiful long legs and a scrubbed-clean look.
“Kay—,” I stammered. “W-what are you doing here?”
She snapped that her name was Nolton, Miss Nolton, and she was there because she was a nurse, as I very well knew. “Now, what’s going on here, Miss?” she demanded, glaring at Manny. “Never mind! I want you out of here, right this minute! And for goodness sake — for goodness sake — do us all a favor and take him with you!”
“Oh, I intend to,” Manny said sunnily. “I’m getting married, and he’s the bridegroom.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” Kay said. “I’m g-glad that s-someone’s willing to marry him. He had t-that... that I—”
She turned suddenly, and hurried out the door.
Manny came into my arms, and I did what you do when a very lovely girl comes into your arms. And then, over her shoulder, I saw the door ease open. And I saw that it was Kay who had opened it.
She stuck out her tongue at me.
She winked and grinned at me. And, then, just as she closed the door, she turned on a truly beautiful blush.
And when it comes time to close the door on someone or something, I know of no nicer way to do it.