'You will readily understand, Sir Charles, that being quick of apprehension, seeing you lying there with your drawn sword still in your hand, a glove, a ribbon, a fan and the prints of strange footmarks, and those, too, from shoes not such as are generally worn by the vulgar or by highwaymen, I rapidly came to the conclusion that my lady had met a gallant in the wood, that you had surprised them, and that the duel was the consequence.
Then I followed the footprints in the moist mossy turf, which showed clear owing to the recent rains, until they nearly reached the road; here the marks of wheels appeared: a coach-and-four had been driven off the road and into the wood, had stopped where the footprints ended and then, skirting the wood, had debouched on the road. Putting spurs to your horse's flanks, I galloped on. At the next town I heard news of the fugitives; twelve miles further on they had changed horses; at the next six miles they had supped. It was now quite dark, but still I galloped on; soon however I lost them; there were three roads in diverse directions and no one could give me a clue as to the one they had taken. Horse and self being now quite worn out, I stopped at the nearest inn and retired to rest. The next morning I made the best of my way to Hastings. Here I learnt that a lady and gentleman answering their description had sailed for France five hours before.'
I thanked Daphnis for his zeal, but assured him he had taken a great deal of unnecessary trouble.
I will now conclude this long story by telling you I subsequently heard that Lord William had quarrelled with a Frenchman at a public gaming table, blows had ensued which resulted in a duel and the Frenchman had left his lordship stark dead on the field.
As for Lady Cecilia, broken-hearted at the loss of her cousin and lover, she entered a convent of Benedictine nuns and has lately taken the black veil.
But it is time to put an end to this long letter, so, adieu!
CONCLUSION
To Thalia
You ask me, dear friend, where I have been hiding myself the last fifteen years. Alas! we are both that much older since we last corresponded. I was, however, about to indite a letter to you, having heard from Jack Bellsize that you had just returned from India with your husband, the General.
You duly received my communication of the affair with Lord William B, you tell me, and wrote a long letter in reply, but I never got it.
After these unfortunate events I took a disgust to my villa at Twickenham, which I sold for a good price to Sir Bulkeley H, and retreated, with Phoebe, Chloe, Daphnis and old Jukes, to my Herefordshire estate, where I have resided ever since.
As for Miss Medley, having heard from the gypsy of my intended departure she decamped one night from her aunt's and joined us. She remained with me about five years but when an opportunity arose for her to make an advantageous marriage with a young farmer, I persuaded her to have him and stocked their farm for them.
To Mrs. J, I presented the house in which she lived, fairing an affectionate farewell of that excellent lady. Augusta and Agnes I suitably provided for, and also found husbands for Miss Marshall and Miss Jennings, giving to each a dowry.
Poor old Jukes died five years since, come Michaelmas. Daphnis I started in life with an ensign's commission in a marching regiment when he was about eighteen; poor lad, he fell gloriously while leading his men in the forlorn hope of storming some place in the Low Countries (not Cunnyland), such are the fortunes of war; and a more gallant youth never campaigned in the fields of Venus or Mars.
Phoebe, now a fine buxom woman of thirty-five, retains all her good looks and much of her freshness. She is sweet tempered and affectionate as ever.
Chloe has grown up a lovely creature and is now twenty-eight.
Having 'lived every day of my life', as the saying is, you will readily suppose that I cannot perform the feats of Venus I once indulged in, but two or three blooming little girls who pass for the sisters and cousins of Phoebe and Chloe serve to amuse me by their playfulness, and, tumbling about showing their beauties, sometimes stir my sluggish blood into a thrill.
Occasionally I am able to remind Phoebe and Chloe of my old vigour and have a fucktious romp, but. . 'From fifty to four-score, once a week and no more.'
They each have a strapping young fellow as a lover, and my consideration in this regard, so far from alienating them, only makes them more amiable and compliant to my wishes.
By my neighbours these dear girls and old friends are regarded as favourite domestics merely, a discreet old woman, the cook, who supplied old Jukes' place, lending propriety. So I am no longer a rake.
The rector of the parish is my very good friend.
My faithful surgeon lives in the house, being still a bachelor.
So, with the extra aid of two neighbouring squires, we have our bowl of punch and a rubber.
This quiet life suits me admirably, and I have forever bid adieu to the gay world and the pleasures of the town, passing much of my time in reading those philosophical writers who are just now making such an impression on the public mind.
And now, dear friend, having given you all the news, I would fain express a hope that you will some day find your way into this remote region, but if the fates decree otherwise, then accept my farewell. Vale! Vale! Longum Vale!