"Sorry. Just hungry, I guess. Don't know when I've been so hungry. I guess getting married gives you an appetite. Heh-heh."
"I guess so." Llona shrugged and turned away as he continued eating.
Finally the last crumb of caviar, washed down by the last drop of champagne, slid down George's throat. He sat back and heaved a sigh. "If you're still hungry," he suggested to Llona, "I could order up some more."
"Oh, no! I've had more than enough. And so have you!"
"Umm, I don't know. I could go another sandwich or something. And I sure am still thirsty."
"It's all that salty caviar."
"I suppose so. Well, I guess it's time to-"
"Go to bed." Llona finished the sentence for him quickly before he could find an excuse to order more food and wine. "It has been a long day," she added.
"Yeah. I'm pretty ti- Hie!"
"What, George?"
"I said I'm pretty tired my- Hie!"
"George! You've got the hiccups!"
"That I-hie!-do."
"Oh, dear! I knew you were drinking too much!"
"Non-hie!-sense! I can hold my-hie!-liquor."
"Then why are you hiccupping like that?"
"It must be the-hie!-damn fish eggs. They-hie!- must have been bad. Hie!"
"I suppose it could have been that," Llona granted. "But what can we do about the hiccups? Have you ever had them before? Is there some way to get rid of them?"
"I get them-hie!-sometimes when I'm-hie!-nervous. But I'm not-hie!-nervous now. Hie!"
"You're not?" "Certainly-hie!-got! What have I-hie!-got to be nervous-hie!-about?"
"Well, maybe getting married…"
"Don't be ri-hie! -diculous! Hie!"
"Maybe if you drank some water?"
"All-hie!-right. I'll try it."
Llona poured him a glass of water and held it for him to drink. "Better now?" she asked when he'd finished it.
"Yeah. It seems to be a lot better. I think they're gone… HIC! Damn!"
"I read somewhere that if you put a paper bag over your head…"
"We don't have a-hie!-paper bag. Hie!"
"I have a plastic bag. Maybe that will work." Llona fished it out of the suitcase, emptied it, and crossed over to George. "Now take a deep breath and hold your head back," she instructed him.
"Hie!" George did as she said.
Llona pulled the bag over his head and held it firmly under his chin so that no air could enter. After a moment the bag inflated as he expelled the breath he'd taken. Another few seconds and the plastic bag was pulled inward as he attempted to inhale. Still Llona held it firm. Only when his face turned slightly purple and his arms and legs began thrashing about did she finally release it.
"What the hell are you trying to do?" he gasped. "I have to breathe."
"It worked." Llona was triumphant. "You're not hiccupping any more."
"By gosh, you're right." George took a deep breath and expelled it. "They're gone. No more hiccups."
"Well, thank goodness that's over. Now let's-"
"Hie!"
"Oh, no!"
"Hic-hic! Hie!"
"They're getting worse!" Llona wailed. She looked at him in dismay. Then-"What are you doing?" she asked.
George had taken a deep breath and was pushing against his mid-section with the fingers of both hands. Slowly he forced the air out of his lungs. It was only after all the color had drained from his face that he finally answered Llona. "Doing it the scientific way," he gasped. "Exert pressure on the solar plexus to force out the oxygen bubbles. I remember it from this Bio course I took back in high school. Might as well be logical. Hie!"
"Might as well." Llona sighed.
"It should-hie!-have worked."
"It should have, but it didn't," Llona pointed out moodily.
"Hie!" George had no further comment.
Llona strolled idly about the room. She circled George until she was in back of him. Then she sprang at him from behind, both hands going around his neck. "BOO!" she shouted in his ear.
"What the hell!" He jumped up. "What's the big idea?"
"I was trying to scare them out of you."
"What you almost scared me out of was a year's growth!" he grumbled. "I'm surprised at you. That's an old wives' tale. Has absolutely no scientific basis. You might have given me a heart attack, but it certainly couldn't have any effect on my hiccups. How can you be so illogical?"
"George…"
"Yes?"
"You're not hiccupping any more, George."
"I'm not? Hey, I'm not! I'll be damned! Still, your idiotic idea of frightening me had nothing to do with it!"
"Of course not, George."
"It's simply that I was over the attack anyway!"
"Of course, George."
"It had run its course, that's all."
"Yes, George." "It was a coincidence."
'•'That's all it was, George."
"Well, as long as you realize it. As long as you're being sensible."
"Oh, I am. Only-"
"Only what?"
"Don't you think the hiccups just might have been psychosomatic?"
"Of course not. They were purely a physical reaction to that caviar having gone a little bad. Ought to sue this damn hotel. Psychosomatic! You get the damnedest ideas, Llona!"
"I'm sorry. Well, as long as you're over them now, I guess I'll go in the bathroom and get undressed." "HIC!"
Llona pretended she hadn't heard as she closed the bathroom door behind her.
"HIC!" Have to relax, George told himself. It's just a simple matter of going limp so the tension will be relieved. If I just stop thinking about them, they'll stop. Just have to get my mind off it. 1 know, I'll read.
About ten minutes later Llona emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of perfume. She paused for a moment in the doorway so that George would catch the full impact of the wispy, semi-transparent red nightgown she'd donned. She took a deep breath so that her large, firm breasts would swell under the gauzy material. The outlines of her nipples were clear, shadows of a deeper red, rigid with desire. She swayed her hips provocatively and waited for George to look up and notice. But George's eyes stayed riveted to the handbook in front of him.
"What are you reading?" Llona asked finally.
"Oh! Here you are." George held up the slim volume so she could see the cover.
"It's just a plain wrapper," she told him. "What is it? Doesn't it have a title?"
"Oh. Sorry. They always put these things in plain brown wrappers." George removed the wrapper so that Llona could read the title.
"Marriage Manual for Newly weds," Llona read aloud. " 'Not To Be Sold.' " She read the small print under the title. " 'To Be Distributed By Physicians Only.'" Llona puzzled over this for an instant. "It's a sex manual," she decided at last.
"That's right."
"Do you really think we need it?" Llona asked demurely, her hands seemingly casual as they ran down the length of her body.
"I always believe in seeking out expert advice and following it whenever I undertake anything new," George told her.
"Oh. Well then, by all means-" Llona crossed over to the bed and stretched out beside him.
" 'It's only natural for a new bride to be shy on her wedding night,' " George quoted.
" 'Only natural,' " Llona echoed, murmuring as she rotated her shoulder so that the strap of the nightie slipped down to almost completely reveal one breast.
" 'The wise bridegroom will check his desire and proceed slowly so as not to alarm his innocent new mate… '"
Slow and easy does it every time, Llona hummed to herself.
" 'It is a good idea to first take the hand of the young bride and gently hold it. Such gentle contact will reassure her and help dispel her fears… "' George took Llona's hand in his. It was burning.
"My fears are dispelled," Llona told him. She squeezed his hand hard. "And am I ever reassured!"
" 'A small kiss followed by a light caress may then be in order… '"
"Mmm!" Llona's lips clung to his and she held his hand to.her breast tightly.
" 'If her shyness should make her balk at the caress, the bridegroom should be patient and understanding