Oh, dear God, he thought. He tried to speak, failed. Tried again. ‘When are you going?’
‘I don’t know. Perhaps next year, even the year after. It depends on — on many things. They haven’t told me much yet. There are preparations that must be made. Ceremonies,’ she added vaguely.
‘So why are you telling me this now?’
‘Because I can’t rest till I know you’ll help!’ she said in a fierce whisper.
‘Help? What help can you possibly want of me?’
‘Josse, I want Meggie to be with you,’ she said in a rush. ‘She’ll miss me and she won’t understand why I’m not here. If she has you instead she won’t mind.’
He opened his mouth to speak but found he had absolutely nothing to say.
‘Josse?’ Joanna said urgently. ‘Will you do it? Will you give me your word that you’ll do what I ask?’
He put his arms round her and drew her to him. The kiss was long and, in time, grew passionate.
When they were both satiated, he said, ‘Aye.’
He slept for some time and then was suddenly wide awake. It was still dark and he could tell from their breathing that Joanna and Meggie were sound asleep.
His mind was full of Joanna.
Where was she going? What would she be ordered to do? It must be dangerous if she was not allowed to take her child.
Joanna was going away. Not yet, but in the future. When she had gone he would slip into his daughter’s life. Oh, he was there already; he knew that the child loved him and, as for him, he adored her. But this would be different. Joanna would be far away and those in whose care she had left Meggie would be told that Josse was going to take up the role of parent. They all knew he was Meggie’s father; it was his right to care for his own child.
Meggie.
Joanna would be gone but she would leave their daughter with him. Perhaps he would take her away to live at New Winnowlands? He could find a pony for her, a nice, safe, well-mannered pony, and teach her to ride. Will would help — Will knew where to find good horses. And maybe Josse would get Ella to fix up a special chamber with a proper bed and pretty hangings. He could buy her clothes, shoes… Or perhaps she would be able to live temporarily at the Abbey? The details did not matter. He would work something out. The important thing was that the two of them would be together.
In a corner of his mind a voice that just might have been his appeared to be cheering.