‘What was that screaming about?’ asked Mary when she arrived in the flat.
‘Granny wouldn’t let me press the button,’ said Thomas.
‘It’s not a child’s toy,’ said Kettle.
‘No, but he’s a child playing,’ said Mary. ‘Why not let him play with the intercom?’
Kettle thought of rising above her daughter’s argumentative style, but decided against it.
‘I can’t do anything right,’ she said, ‘so we might as well assume I’m wrong – then there won’t be any need to point it out. I’ve only just come in, so I’m afraid tea isn’t ready. I rushed home from a lunch that I couldn’t get out of.’
‘Yes,’ laughed Mary. ‘We saw you gazing through the shop windows when we were trying to park the car. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to help with the children again.’
‘I’ll make the tea, if you like,’ said Amparo, offering Kettle the opportunity to stay with her family.
‘It’s all right,’ snapped Kettle. ‘I’m still capable of making a pot of tea.’
‘Am I being childish?’ said Thomas, approaching his father.
‘No,’ said Patrick. ‘You’re being a child. Only grownups can be childish, and my God, we take advantage of the fact.’
‘I see,’ said Thomas, nodding wisely.
Robert was slumped in an armchair feeling despondent. He’d had enough of both his grandmothers to last him a lifetime.
Kettle tottered back in, laying the tray down with a groan of relief.
‘So, how was your mother?’ she asked Patrick.
‘She only spoke two words,’ he answered.
‘Did they make any sense?’
‘Perfect sense: “Do nothing.”’
‘You mean she doesn’t want to … to go to Switzerland?’ asked Kettle, emphasizing a code she knew the children were excluded from.
‘That’s right,’ said Patrick.
‘That’s a bit of a muddle,’ said Kettle.
Mary felt the effort she was putting into avoiding her favourite word: ‘disappointment’.
‘It’s something we’re all entitled to feel ambivalent about,’ said Patrick. ‘Mary saw it all along. I suppose she was less invested in the results, or just clearer. Anyhow, I intend to take this last instruction very seriously indeed. I will do nothing.’
‘Do nothing!?’ said Thomas. ‘I mean, how do you do nothing? Because if you do nothing, you do something!’
Patrick burst out laughing. He picked up Thomas and put him on his knee and kissed the top of his head.
‘I shan’t be visiting her again,’ said Patrick. ‘Not out of spite, but out of gratitude. She’s made us a gift and it would be ungracious not to accept it.’
‘A gift?’ said Kettle. ‘Aren’t you reading rather too much into those two words.’
‘What else is there to do but read too much into things?’ said Patrick breezily. ‘What a poor, thin, dull world we’d live in if we didn’t. Besides, is it possible? There’s always more meaning than we can lay our hands on.’
Kettle was transfixed by several kinds of indignation at once, but Thomas filled the silence by jumping off his father’s knee and shouting, ‘Do nothing! Do nothing!’ as he circled the table laden with cakes and tea.