“I think it is not a bad idea, as I said. People are beginning to talk of Gervaise’s tendency … not for play but not to pay. A man needs a good income to live the way he does. Let him go to Australia. It might be good for him … and it could be the making of him. I have written to Benedict. I am sure he will do all he can to help.”
My parents came to London. I could see that they did not like the idea—particularly my mother. That was understandable. She would be thinking of her own visit to Australia which had ended in such a disastrous climax.
I was sure that my father would have settled Gervaise’s debts rather than we should go, but I was beginning to see that that would be no real solution. Gervaise must do something for himself. If his debts were paid there would be more. I knew him now. This gambling was not merely a pastime with him; it was an obsession. It was almost like an illness; it would recur. If he did find a fortune in Australia it was just possible that that urge would diminish … possibly be cured. I had come to the conclusion that it was something we had to try.
Grace was horrified. She said: “Think of all the hardships out there.”
“Yes, my mother has talked of them. But she was there a long time ago. Things may have changed.”
I was very apprehensive, but Gervaise was so eager. I think he had had a real fright when he realized the amount of his debts and what the consequences would be if he could not meet them. He was desperate and this seemed an honorable way out.
Morwenna was very sad at the thought of my going. Justin was particularly thoughtful; and then one day, Morwenna came to me in a state of great excitement.
Before I could ask what had happened, she burst out: “We’re coming with you. Justin thinks it would be wonderful to seek our fortunes in the goldfields. For so long he has been thinking of what work would suit him. This is just it.”
I looked at her and laughed; and then we were hugging each other.
I think everyone felt a little easier because the four of us were going. Grace seemed particularly relieved.
“It will make such a difference,” she said. “I am so pleased.”
“Really, Grace,” I replied, “the way everyone is talking you would think we were never coming back.”
“Morwenna will be a good companion for you … and Justin and Gervaise get on so well together.”
“I am afraid they are both too fond of gambling.”
“Well, let us hope that this gamble brings the desired results.”
After that I could view the prospect with more enthusiasm. It was to be a great adventure and, I told my mother, we could be lucky very soon. In that case we should come home at once. Who knew, we might be with her this time next year.
THERE HAD BEEN A reply from Benedict. He would do all he could to help. There was a letter for me in which he said he had often thought of me and he was delighted at the prospect of seeing me again. “You must be quite grown up now. A married woman! I wonder if we shall recognize each other.”
I was sure I should recognize him. He had been vivid in my mind for so long.
Much as I hated leaving my family, I was growing excited at the prospect of a completely different life.
And in due course we traveled to Tilbury and set sail on the Royal Albert; our destination—Melbourne.
Gold
ONCE THE EXCITEMENT OF getting on board and settling into shipboard life was over, the voyage was, I suppose, an uneventful one. The ports of call were of great interest to us and Gervaise was a wonderful guide and companion. He seemed to have cast off all memory of those hideous debts which he had left behind; he was so sure that all would be well, and such was his personality that he made me believe it, too.
Life seemed one long round of pleasure with him; I suppose it was that side of his nature which made me love him. It was impossible to be unhappy long in his company; he had the gift of shrugging off the unpleasant and making the most of what was delightful.
I had asked him not to gamble again. I said: “You see what it has brought you to.”
He put on a mock penitent expression and said he would do anything in the world to please me. I took it that meant he would restrain himself from the habit which had already wrought such havoc in our lives.
I was young; I was adventurous by nature and I could not help throwing myself into the excitement of the moment. I began to accept Gervaise’s optimism. We were going to strike gold. In a very short time we should come back rich and all debts would be paid to Uncle Peter. We should live happily ever after in our dear little house in which I had taken such pride. And having acquired a fortune Gervaise would lose the desire to make another. The present and the future were always good in Gervaise’s eyes; it was only the past, if that were unpleasant, which should be forgotten.
And so I began to enjoy the voyage. We made a few friends on the ship. We liked Captain Gregory. He knew Australia well. His father had settled there forty years before and had a property outside Melbourne. The Captain had come to England to study navigation. He visited his family when his ship called at Australia. We often dined with him and the Chief Officer—a very pleasant young man who told us a great deal about the ship.
We looked forward to arriving at the ports. Morwenna said that one of the most delightful experiences was being at sea and waking up one morning to find oneself in port. The four of us would go out together; we reveled in strange places and marveled at the scenery and the customs of the people which were different from our own; life was amusing and full of pleasure.
It was wonderful to see places which hitherto had been only names on the map; it was exciting to take a horse-drawn carriage in Tenerife and visit that spot where our own Lord Nelson had fought and lost his right arm. I could have lingered there. I should have enjoyed going up to the sunken crater of Las Canadas and to have mounted even higher up Pico de Teide which dominated the island.
But our stay was brief. I told the Captain that was a matter of great regret. He smiled at me and said: “The object, my dear young lady, is to get you to Melbourne as fast as we can. We stop at these places only to load stores.”
Gervaise said: “It is probably as well that our stays are brief. It makes us appreciate it all the more.”
He was determined to enjoy every moment and I wondered briefly whether in his heart he doubted whether we would come out with the gold which would change our fortunes and how he would adapt to the life of a miner. If he did he never showed it. I had learned a great deal about him since our marriage but there was still a great deal to discover.
I remember Durban—the capital of Natal—which had recently become a British colony. It was a very beautiful town right on the coast and there was something very exciting in the sight of the waves breaking on the shore.
But perhaps what makes that time stand out so vividly in my memory was what happened aboard.
I had thought Morwenna looked a little tired and when we returned to our cabins she said she would lie down. I had a feeling that there was something on her mind and I sought an early opportunity of talking to her.
That opportunity came after we had left Durban, from which we sailed at midnight. We were sitting on deck together. The sea was calm; there was not even a ripple on the water; it was the color of translucent jade with here and there a touch of aquamarine.
I glanced at her sideways; she was pale and there were shadows under her eyes.
“Morwenna,” I said, “is something wrong?”
“No, no,” she replied sharply. “What should be?”
“I thought you looked a little … strained.”
“Strained? You mean tired?”