Theres someone there-she boomed-damn cheek!
They all looked-then Teddy rose to his feet-one movement-like a panther-except they dont stand on the hind legs-do they? — but you know what I mean! He cried out-its Charley! — hey Charley-come on down here amp; join us!-
Might have made an excuse amp; left-but I saw Sister Esthers face congeal from dimpling attentiveness to pack-ice mode- amp; that did it!
— Hi-I said-scrambling down-didnt mean to intrude-but the beach back there is absolutely packed-
Bit of an exaggeration-but without thinking Id pushed the right button for Lady D-to whom bodies on the beach ultimately translates into boodle in the bank- amp; she said-never mention it-my dear-any friend of Toms is always welcome here-
Clara smiled up at me-while Esther gave me a twitch of a nod-then-unfreezing her face-turned back to Lady D amp; said-now auntie-you mustnt lose your thread-not when you were telling me the fascinating story of your plans for the estate-
I was trying to work out how to sit close to Teddy-without drawing too much attention to the contrast between my kitchen table legs- amp; Claras works of art-when he solved the problem by saying-youve obviously come to swim-ready for a dip now? — come on!-
He grabbed my hand amp; started leading me down the beach.
I said-what about Clara? — amp; he said-oh shes all right-needs to stick close in case auntie needs her back scratched-or something fetched from the hall-
I glanced back- amp; up. The cliff rose steep amp; bare for about 80 feet-with a zigzag path marked by a guardrail- amp; then for the next 40 or 50 feet the incline became easier-with lots of greenery now-till presumably it flattened into the grounds of the hall. Quite a trip to send someone to fetch the hankie youd forgotten! Dont expect that would worry Lady D though- amp; to give her her due-it was quite a climb-up amp; down-for someone her age. Must be fit as a butchers dog-as the HB likes to say!
I said-must be nice to have your own private beach-
He said-strictly speaking its not aunties at all. Anything between the high tide amp; low tide marks belongs to the Crown- amp; the spring tides here reach several feet up the cliff-but it would take a bold trespasser to argue the point!-
I couldnt argue with this. We soon reached the edge of the water-where he paused-staring out to sea- amp; said something I didnt catch.
— sorry? — I said.
He spoke again-more clearly-but I still couldnt make any sense of it.
Seeing this he smiled-rather patronizingly I thought- amp; repeated the sounds.
— thalatta thalatta-he declaimed (thats how its spelt-I checked it out on the Net)-the sea-the sea-
— no argument there-I said-its the sea-sure enough-
— its Greek-he said-tho I hadnt asked-its what the Greek army-in retreat from Marathon-all shouted in releif-when they breasted a hill amp; saw the Aegean-which meant they were home. I know how they felt-my own heart always swells when I glimpse our own dear North Sea-
I suppose he was trying to impress me with his classical learning- amp; his poetic sensibility-but I just felt he was trying a bit too hard-plus when I checked the word on the Internet-I also got the history- amp; the plonker didnt even have his facts right! Not Marathon-but some place called Cunaxa- amp; not the Aegean-but the Black Sea!
I said-OK-now weve established what it is-are we going to swim in it?-
He said-of course- amp; then-youre not going to believe this-he pushed his trunks down- amp; stepped out of them-so there I was-standing alongside this guy wearing nothing but his big nobbly Rolex-thats his watch I mean! — with his trio of womenfolk not thirty yards away.
I said-for Godsake!-
He said-dont be shocked-I always skinny-dip-
I said-Ive got 4 bros-plus I grew up on a farm-Im not shocked-but what about Lady D- amp; the others?-
He laughed amp; said-oh theyre used to it-auntie pretends to look the other way-but like many old country ladies she likes her meat well hung- amp; Ive often caught her taking a peek-
— through powerful binoculars you mean? — I said-sneering-quite unjustly! — hed have made a donkey envious! — then waded out till the water was deep enough to dive into.
He took his watch off-dropped it on his trunks-followed me in-came up alongside me- amp; stayed there-doing a pretty fair crawl-smiling at me from time to time-as if to say-dont worry-I wont sprint away amp; leave you-so youre quite safe-
Well-you know me-not the fastest thing on fins-but can keep going forever.
There was a buoy about 1/4 mile offshore. I fixed my eyes on it- amp; got into my rhythm. He stuck with me for a while-then dropped behind- amp; when I reached the buoy it was 3 or 4 minutes before he joined me. He tried a smile-but I could see he was knackered- amp; I started to feel guilty. Just cos he had a lousy chat-up line didnt mean he deserved to drown! amp; dragging that thing along beneath him must have been like a plane trying to take off with its flaps down!
We clung on to the buoy for a few minutes-then I said-ready for home?
He nodded- amp; I set off back-breaststroke this time-a lot slower- amp; it gave me room to keep an eye on him.
By the time we reached the shallows-he was so whacked-a little wave knocked him over when he tried to stand up.
Big-test time now-would he turn nasty-or could he take it?
He collapsed on the sand. Wed come ashore about 30 feet from where wed left our gear.
He gasped-do me a favor-Charley-fetch my trunks will you? — Id like to be buried decent-but not at sea-please!-
So that was OK. Dont mind a prat-so long as he can laugh at himself.
I fetched his watch amp; his trunks-he made himself decent-then we sat on the sand together-warming ourselves in the sun-till he got his breath back.
I said-do you ski as well as you swim?-
He said-better-youll be glad to hear-but I usually keep my clothes on. Why?-
I said-I was out in Switzerland before Christmas-near Davos-bunch of my mates from uni-thought I saw your sister there-at a dance-but could be wrong. Kind of place us poor students party at-not really her thing-I shouldnt think-
He pulled a face amp; said-might well have been-Aunt Daph had a rush of blood to the head-took me amp; Ess on a skiing holiday last Christmas-near Davos-
That was generous of her-I said-where were you staying? — Morasinis? — The Fluela?-
— O no-he laughed-dear aunties not that generous! — we had a chalet-but in fairness it was very comfortably appointed-
— so why would Esther be moving amp; grooving with the plebs? — I pressed.
— why not? — he said in the casual tone the upper classes use to disguise an evasion.-Could be there was a ski instructor she fancied-holiday romance-no strings-no harm-but wouldnt do for auntie-
I almost asked-whats it to do with her? — but I didnt need to-being such a clever observer of human behavior! She who pays the piper calls the tune-right? Lady D definitely would not care for the prospect of any of her money-now or later-finding its way into the pocket of a penniless foreigner. So if her beloved neice wanted to stay in her good books amp; her will-shed better pick her young men v carefully. The HB feels much the same-so the way youre going-Ill probably be getting your share!
I was also recalling that-according to George-Emil was a student-not a ski instructor. Teddy-I thought-either youre lying-or Ess lied to you-
I said-so Esther went slumming with us plebs- amp; Lady D never found out-
He said-happily auntie had her own affairs to divert her-
The way he stressed affairs got me curious-but our interesting chat must have been observed-for now it was interrupted by a sergeant-major bellow-Teddy! — what are you doing down there? — Time for lunch!-