Dalziel glared a warning at Charley, who was stifling a laugh.
“So what happened next?” he asked.
“I rode on a bit, but when I looked back and saw that she’d gone, I went over to take a look at what she’d been photographing.”
“And what was it?”
“It was Dr. Feldenhammer with the Indian lady on the beach. They were doing sex.”
“You’re sure it was Dr. Feldenhammer?” said Dalziel, forgetting he was supposed to know all of this anyway.
“Oh yes. Dr. Feldenhammer had been round to our house for dinner a couple of nights earlier. He gave me a twenty-pound note when he heard it was my birthday soon and he said I had to spend it on something I really wanted, but Mum made me put it in my savings account.”
“That’s the trouble with mums,” said Dalziel. “Always thinking of your future. Go on.”
“Well, I knew I’d get into trouble if they saw me, so I just crawled away and got back on my bike and rode off home.”
Charley said, “Minnie, when you say they were doing sex, what exactly…do you mean, they were kissing, or…”
“They had all their clothes off-that’s how I knew it was the Indian lady; she was really brown all over-and they were bouncing up and down together. It’s all right, Charley. We learned all about it at school.”
She spoke so condescendingly that Dalziel laughed out loud.
Charley said quite sharply, “This Indian lady, does she have a name?”
“I expect so,” said Minnie. “Everyone has a name. I expect hers is Indian.”
“But who was she?”
“She was from the clinic. I’d seen her in the town once, dressed in one of those lovely silk things they wear, but I haven’t seen her for a long time, so perhaps she got another job. Does that help, Mr. Andy?”
“I think it might, Minnie. What do you think, Charley?”
“Could do,” said Charley. “Did you ever talk to anyone about what you saw, Minnie?”
“I told Sue Locksley, my best friend at school, but she said that her babysitter does it with her boyfriend every Saturday night in the living room and it’s really boring. So I didn’t bother telling anyone else. Except Uncle Sid.”
“You told your Uncle Sidney?” said Charley. “Why did you do that?”
“He was there when I got home and he asked me how I liked the bike and I told him it was the best present ever and he asked how far I’d ridden on it, so I told him. Uncle Sid and me tell each other everything. I wish I was old enough to marry him.”
No you don’t, love, thought Charley.
Dalziel said, “And what did Uncle Sid say, lass?”
“He told me that doing sex was really only the business of the ones doing it and I shouldn’t tell anyone else. But you don’t count, do you, Mr. Andy, because you’re a policeman?”
“Right, luv. I don’t count,” said the Fat Man. “Did he say anything else?”
“No. I said thank you again for the bike and he said I was a special girl and I said does that mean when I’m eighteen you’ll buy me a motorbike too? And he laughed and said maybe he would.”
Charley asked, “What made you think of a motorbike, Min?” then wished she hadn’t.
The girl said, “Because he bought Teddy one for his birthday, only when I heard Teddy thanking him, they said it was a secret, so maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”
“Think of me as a policeman too,” said Charley.
She didn’t look at the Fat Man, but felt his eyes on her.
He said, “What about your mum and dad? They must have wondered when Big Bum gave you fifteen pound for using your memory card.”
“I didn’t tell them,” said Minnie promptly. “They’d just have made me put it in the savings bank like Dr. Feldenhammer’s twenty pound, and I had things to spend it on.”
Like what? wondered Charley. And do I really want to know?
Dalziel said, “That were real interesting, Minnie, very helpful. Now, would you do me a favor? All this talk’s made me thirsty. Why don’t you run along to your mam and ask if there’s any chance of a light beer with my light lunch?”
Minnie offered no objection but sped away into the house.
When she was out of earshot, Charley said sharply, “If you knew she was listening, why didn’t you send her away before?”
“And miss that little nugget?” said Dalziel. “Soon as I clapped eyes on young Min, I saw that here were the ears and eyes of Sandytown! Only understands half of what she knows, but it all gets stored away, understood or not. Bet you were just the same at her age. Well now, I reckon that might solve our little problem of the hold Daph had on Fester.”
“Catching him screwing one of his staff isn’t much of a hold,” said Charley.
“What if she weren’t one of his staff?”
“I thought…oh, I see what you mean…she might have been a patient? But surely-”
“Surely a nice upstanding pro like Dr. Feldenhammer wouldn’t screw one of his own patients, is that what you mean? Listen, luv, if you’re going to make it in your line of business, you’ll need to be ready to hear far worse things than that. Stuff that is a thousand miles away from the way you yourself act and think.”
“Oh. You mean like you knowing about that saint, you mean?” retorted Charley.
“Wulfhilda?” Dalziel laughed. “Nay, we’ve a lot in common. Bright lass, very moral. She escaped through the drains when the king wanted to shag her. And she could multiply her stock of booze when guests turned up unexpected. That’s a trick I’d love to learn.”
There was definitely more to this guy than met the eye, thought Charley.
She said, “Very interesting. But I still think it was irresponsible to let Minnie carry on eavesdropping when you knew she was there.”
“Don’t think she heard owt that’s not on the curriculum these days!” said Dalziel. “Mebbe Mr. Standfast and the dinner lady were a visual aid. Any road, that’s why I’ve sent the lass off now. It’s clear she thinks the sun shines out of her Uncle Sid’s bum and I didn’t want her earwigging while we talked about him. What was all that about him giving Ted the bart a motorbike?”
“No idea. First I knew about it,” said Charley, affecting indifference. “I really hardly know Sid.”
“Apart from him having a red Maserati and being absolutely gorgeous, you mean? Come on, lass. You do not knowing about as well as Minnie does not listening!”
Oh shit, thought Charley. In principle she agreed with Sid, sex was nobody’s business except the couple doing it. And their psychologists, of course. And maybe the police, if there was some connection with a serious crime…?
The bottom line was, the cops had read her e-mails. Okay, she was still pissed off about that, but it was a fact. And she’d accidentally misled them in two ways, first in the closeness of the relationship between Ted and Clara, and second in the location of Clara and Sid when the storm started. Probably unimportant, but with two people dead already…
“Spit it out afore it chokes you,” urged Dalziel.
“Sid’s gay,” she said. “Ted too. Don’t know if they’re exclusively so-I’d guess not in Ted’s case.”
She hadn’t expected him to look surprised and he didn’t.
“Oh aye? Lot of it about. Not catching, thank God, else we’d probably all be wearing tutus down the nick. I can see it’d be a bit of a shock to you when you found out, fancying ’em both like you did. How did you find out, by the way?”
“This morning. I saw Sid in the hotel swimming pool, and I realized what I’d said in my e-mail about the hog roast was wrong. It wasn’t Clara Teddy was banging in the cave on the cliff, it was Sid!”
Dalziel whistled and said, “Quite a mistake that, lass. Bit shortsighted, are you?”
She told him the story and felt indignant when he still regarded her doubtfully.
“It was dark in the cave,” she declared. “I only got a glimpse, he was on his face, I just saw those long white legs, and when I saw them again in the pool, I knew beyond all doubt that’s what I’d seen in the cave. I think he must shave them!”