I said that I had been taught to ride but had little opportunity of doing so. There had been a pony, but when that died it had not been replaced. We only had one horse now which Xavier used.
There’s a small stable in Oakland. Let's , riding. I want to see what you can do. ” I immediately felt resentful, objecting to his patronizing manner. He chose my mount, a brown horse with a frisky look in his eyes which made me somewhat apprehensive. Our pony had been of about thirteen hands, and I had never ridden a better steed. I was about to protest when I caught his eyes on me amused a little triumphant, so superior and arrogant-every inch the peacock. I mounted uneasily. He said: These horses need exercise.
They’re too fat. Riding here is different from riding in Australia.
You’ll have to get used to the difference because you’re lost without a horse in the Bush. “
“Is this house Peacocks in the Bush, then? ” It in its own grounds and Fancy Town is about two miles away.
Surrounding all this is some pretty wild country. You’ll need to feel as much at home in the saddle as you do on your own two feet. ” My equestrian knowledge was not great, but it was obvious even to me that he chose the finest horse in the stable for himself.
As we walked our horses side by side I could feel his eyes on me appraisingly my posture, my hands, my heels, everything . and that smile which I hated played about his lips.
“In other words,” he was saying, ‘you could loosely say that we live in the saddle. “
“Have you a good stable at Peacocks?”
“It would be hard to find a better in Australia.”
“Naturally,” I commented.
“Oh yes, naturally."
” So you ride everywhere? “
"Yes, everywhere. There are Cobb’s coaches which ply between the big cities. I rarely use them. You’ll find the country different out there, I can tell you. “
“I expected to.” This . why, it’s like a garden. You don’t go far without some sort of habitation. And these little fields and roads .
"Oh, it’s very different. “
“So you have said more than once Then I must apologize for repeating myself.”
“A common fault,” I said lightly, to remind him that he was not without them, which I was sure he imagined himself to be.
He broke mio a canter, and I tried to follow him but my horse refused.
Instead he lowered his head suddenly and gripped a bush by the roadside.
“Come on,” I whispered urgently.
“He’ll laugh at us.”
But the horse seemed determined to mock me too.
Joss Madden turned and I heard that quick gust of laughter, “Come on.
Joker,” he said, and the response was immediate. The sly Joker immediately relinquished the bush and went on with an injured air as though to say: What can you expect me to do with this amateur on my back ?
“You have to control your horse, you know,” said Joss, smiling, well pleased with Joker’s cooperation.
“I’m very well aware of that,” I retorted.
“He knows who’s the master. You see, I only had to call his name and he obeyed.”
“I’ve never seen this horse before,” I protested.
“He’s a little mischievous when he thinks he can get away with it.
It’s understandable. Now, Joker, no more nonsense. You’ll do what the lady tells you. Come on. “
I hated that morning because I sensed that he was trying to show me how inferior I was. He proved that to me more than once. There was one occasion when he galloped across a meadow and called Joker to follow.
I thought he was hoping I’d fall and break my neck. It was maddening that he should be commanding my horse, and when it sped after him I knew that I couldn’t control it and the thought came into my mind:
He’s trying to kill me so that he won’t have to marry me. If I’m dead Ben won’t cut him out. He’ll get the precious Company without having to pay the price-marriage -for it. Oh, he is so arrogant He’s nothing more than a peacock . flaunting his superiority as a peacock flaunts his tail.
He was beside me suddenly. He had seized my bridle and for a few moments we galloped side by side. When we stopped he was laughing at me.
“I’ll have to teach you to ride,” he said, ‘and I’ll do so before we leave. You can’t go out to Australia like this. “
“Don’t you think it would be a good idea if we abandoned the whole thing?” I asked.
“What! With the dress being made, the banns being called .."
He was serious suddenly.
“Besides, what of Ben?”
“I hate it all,” I said vehemently.
“You mean you hate me?”
“You can look at it that way if you like.”
“A firm basis on which to build a marriage,” he mocked. Feelings often change, they say, afterwards, so at least yours can’t change for the worse since they are as bad as they can possibly be before. “
“Isn’t the whole thing rather farcical?”
“Life often is rather farcical.”
“Rarely as much as this ridiculous wedding.”
“Don’t you think it makes it rather piquant? You and I will go to church and take our vows and everything we vow to do we shall be promising ourselves not to do. Marriage is for the procreation of children. That comes in the service. But for us … marriage in name only."
” Your expression,” I said.
“It’s a good one. It conveys the meaning as well as anything could. To love and to cherish, we shall say, and here are you telling me you hate me.”
“You’re giving very adequate reasons why the whole thing should be called off.”
“But we’re not going to, are we? We’re two sensible people don’t you agree? There’s too much to gain and too much to lose. We’re better off making the best of it. Who knows, I might succeed in making a tolerable horsewoman of you and you might succeed in keeping me at a distance.” His eyes glittered suddenly, and I saw the pride there which I was beginning to think was his main characteristic. He was put out because I was not attracted by his virility . or masculinity . whatever it was.
“Let me say,” he said with a hint of anger in his voice, “I think the latter will be easier to achieve than the former.”
We walked our horses back to Oakland-a pace, he commented dryly, more suited to my accomplishments.
I certainly hated him, and he appeared to despise me. Well, there was no need to fret about that for I should not have to worry about his forcing his attentions on me; and because he had made this so obvious I began, perversely, to hope that he might-solely that I could have the pleasure of rebuffing him.
The servants were excited about the wedding. Miriam was making the wedding cake; even my grandmother became slightly benign towards me and my grandfather regarded me as the saviour of the family fortunes.
Ben would lie in his bed or sit in his chair chuckling to himself. It was certainly a popular wedding-with everyone except the bride and groom t
Twice a day Joss insisted that I ride with him.
“It’s a necessity,” he said.
“You must know how to master a horse before we go to Australia.”
I saw the wisdom of this and decided to put up with his patronizing attitude. I worked hard, and I was sure that I was an apt pupil. Not that he would admit when I showed improvement. He seemed to enjoy humiliating me.
Once skilled, I promised myself, I should be independent of him, and I was really beginning to enjoy riding as I never had before. He never complimented me; and I inwardly accused him of showing off. To myself I always referred to him as Peacock.
At last my wedding day arrived. It was like a dream standing there at the altar while the Reverend jasper Grey married us. I felt a shiver of emotion as Joss slipped the ring on my finger and I couldn’t quite define it. Apprehension was certainly there, but if I was honest with myself I would have to admit that if I could have cancelled it I shouldn’t have wanted to.