Her father would laugh a lot during those visits. It was never about the fish. If you wanted to catch fish, you bought a boat and went out onto the lake. Fishing from the pier was just a way to pass the time. Or spend a day with your eight-year-old daughter.
She wasn’t eight anymore, but going to the park as an adult always brought back memories of her father. This was their place, where she recalled her happiest childhood memories. So it was no wonder that when she closed her eyes and dreamed her first dream in quite some time, she found herself back at Deussen Park.
It was in one of these dreams that she met him.
Tall, handsome, wearing a suit and tie for some reason. No one wore a suit and tie to the park, but he did, and though he stood out from the others, in their overalls and slacks and jeans, no one seemed to notice.
Except her.
When she first saw him, he was leaning over a railing in one of the bigger gazebos, looking down at the water lapping quietly, serenely against the foundation poles. Tiny, busy spiders spun cobwebs along the ceiling above him. White pelicans walked lazily around the gazebo behind him, unperturbed by his presence. The pelicans were used to dining on the shrimps left behind by unsuccessful fishermen.
She was barefoot and wore a simple dress in the dream. It was a brilliantly clear day, with no annoying boaters on the waters to ruin the fishing for the people perched along the piers or to break the tranquility of the lake.
She leaned against the railing and gazed out at the calm lake, missing her father. He would have loved a day like this.
“What’s the point?” the man asked suddenly.
“What?” she said, looking over at him. “Did you say something?”
“What’s the point?” he asked again, smiling at her. He had white, almost translucent skin. He looked at home in the sun, as if he were born to bask in its heat.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I’m just wondering. What the point of all of this is.”
“The lake?”
“No. The facility.”
“What facility?”
“The one you’re staying in now. Harold Campbell’s facility. What’s the point?”
“I don’t understand.”
And she didn’t. This was a dream. Why was a man in her dream asking about Harold Campbell’s facility?
“Don’t you?” he asked, eyes searching hers.
“Surviving,” she said, finally. “The point is surviving.”
“For what?”
“That’s a strange question.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t even know you.”
“My name’s Mabry,” he said. “Now you know me.”
“I still don’t know you,” she said and moved away from him to the other side of the gazebo.
She hadn’t yet settled against the railing before she realized he had somehow moved across the gazebo without her knowing. He was to her right now, still smiling at her. Had she moved away from him or toward him?
“Luke’s dead,” he said. “Ted’s dead. Donald, Jack… What’s the point?”
“Living,” she said. “The point is living. Surviving.”
“For what purpose?”
“That’s a stupid question.”
“Is it?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t the point of surviving to survive for something? So what are you surviving for, Kate?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but couldn’t. Did she even know the answer?
She did… Didn’t she?
“That’s not the point,” she said, her annoyance growing.
“No?” He feigned satisfaction with her answer. “Maybe not.”
“Who are you?”
“You know who I am, Kate.”
“I don’t have a clue.”
He laughed. It was surreal, almost artificial. “I told you. My name is Mabry.”
“Go fuck yourself, Mabry,” she said and walked off.
“What’s the point?” he shouted after her as she exited the gazebo. “What’s the point, Kate? You’ve been asking yourself the same question all month. What’s the point?”
Deussen Park was crowded, and she was wearing a different dress than the last time she was here. There was a celebration of some kind going on in one of the gazebos, and she watched and smiled, enjoying the sounds of laughter and children and happiness.
“Have you figured it out yet?” a voice asked.
She glanced at Mabry, standing next to her, in the same suit and tie. His face looked just as white, as otherworldly.
There’s something wrong with him. He’s not…whole.
His sudden appearance didn’t startle her. It was almost as if she had expected him. But why would she?
“Figured what out?” she asked.
“What the point is,” he said.
“Who are you?” she demanded.
He laughed. “I told you. My name’s Mabry. I’m starting to think you’re purposefully not remembering my name, Kate.”
“Leave me alone.”
She walked away…only to see him waiting in the grass ten yards ahead of her.
“What’s the point?” he asked again.
She ignored him and walked past him, not giving him the satisfaction of meeting his searching blue eyes.
“What’s the point, Kate?” he shouted after her.
As she walked farther away, she knew intimately that she didn’t answer him because she didn’t know the answer. It was the same question that had been nagging at her ever since Luke died. She didn’t have the answers then, and she still didn’t now.
What was the point?
She almost asked Carly that question when the younger woman showed up at her room one day, out of the blue. She thought Carly had given up coming by, so when she heard the knock on her door and went to open it, she was surprised to see Carly standing outside.
“Hey,” Kate said.
“You hungry?” Carly asked. She was holding onto a food tray with one hand. The tray had carrots and beets and what looked like turkey. “It’s not turkey,” Carly said, as if reading her mind. “Tofu. Ready-to-go, MRE tofu. But looks like turkey, right? It doesn’t taste too bad, either.”
“Oh,” she said, not quite sure what to say.
It had been almost three weeks since the last time Carly came by. Kate was sure they had given up on her. Even Will had stopped coming by a month ago.
“I’m not really hungry,” Kate said.
“I thought you’d say that.” She took her other hand out from behind her back, revealing a small cupcake with a single candle on top. “Happy Birthday!”
Kate stared at the cupcake. She had forgotten it was her birthday. She was thirty-two. Where did all the time go?
She was keenly aware of Carly watching her closely. “Come on,” Carly said, “you have to at least let me light it, okay?”
She nodded and did her best to smile. She hadn’t smiled a lot lately, and she wasn’t sure how it came out.
Kate stood aside and let Carly enter, then closed the door. For a moment, just a moment, she was disappointed Will wasn’t also out there. But just as quickly as the thought appeared, it evaporated. She had given that part of her life up a long time ago. She wondered if he had found someone else yet.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” Carly asked.
“I did, actually.”
“I knew it.”
“Who else…?” she asked, but couldn’t bring herself to finish.
Carly gave her a pitying look. Kate felt like telling her that she didn’t care, that she was just curious.