Then she kissed him again, pulling back just long enough to whisper, “They’re not there just for show, you know.”
He didn’t need further prodding.
Will kissed the tip of one nipple. She sighed, which was all the permission he needed to kiss the other. He moved his hands down the length of her body, to her thighs, then lifted her easily into the air. She was surprisingly light. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and he carried her to the small cot, kissing her the entire way, exploring every inch of her mouth. She was intoxicating. Every time he took a breath and she filled his lungs, he wanted more.
He laid her down softly, afraid if he dropped her the flimsy cot might crumble underneath her weight, even as light as she was. She helped him remove her pants, and they scrambled to remove his clothes, their hands everywhere, at times bumping into each other, laughing softly, nervously. She kissed his bare chest, and then wrinkled her nose playfully at him.
“Sorry,” he said, breathless. “I was going to take a shower. Then you showed up.”
“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.”
“I have no idea what that means.”
“It’s something my mom used to say. Never mind.”
She pulled him down to her. Then he was inside her, and he didn’t know how he had gone so long without her. It pushed him to the edge much faster than he had expected. She wrapped her legs around his waist again and held on as his body went slack against hers.
He lay in her arms, their bodies slick with sweat, even in the temperature-controlled room. She felt warm against him, her hand picking through his dirty hair. He should have taken that shower before the nap…
“I’m sorry,” Will said, “it’s been a while.”
She laughed.
“Ouch,” he said.
“Did I hurt your ego?”
“A little bit, yeah.”
“Men.” She raised his head gently until she could look him in the eyes. “See me?”
“Yes,” he said back.
“This is me not caring.”
She pulled him to her and kissed him again. Her hand moved between their bodies, and he groaned as she wrapped slender fingers around him, stroking him. It didn’t take very long.
“You wanna do something about this?” she asked playfully.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Just try to make it last longer this time, okay, Quick Draw McGraw?”
“Ouch,” he said, and she laughed again.
They lay slick with sweat in the dark room, gasping for breath. Will was surprised the cot hadn’t given way. He had slept on Army cots that were bigger and sturdier. Even worse, this bed actually felt as if it wanted to come apart underneath him, and he wondered how romantic it would have been had they both fallen to the floor naked and tangled up in a twisted bed frame.
He was tired, but she wasn’t.
She whispered into his ear, “Oh come on, one more time.”
He shook his head against the pillow. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“No fair. That first time was a total bust.”
“You’re going to keep rubbing that in my face, aren’t you?”
“At least until next year.”
“You’re optimistic if you think I’m going to sleep with you again after tonight.”
“Give me a break,” she said, “I’m making up for lost time. You are too, judging by that first, er, shot.”
“I told you that’s never happened to me before.”
“I believe you. Yup, totally believe you.”
“Are you humoring me?”
“Totally,” she said and laughed.
He liked the sound of her laugh. She hadn’t laughed very often since they met, but when he heard it, it sounded like poetry to him.
He rolled over onto his back until she was straddling his naked waist. She looked down at him, watching him carefully.
She looked spectacular naked, her form outlined against the dark ceiling, blonde hair cascading around her face. He enjoyed the soft curves of her hips, the perkiness of her breasts, the way her eyebrows arched when she was thinking.
“What?” she said, looking down at him. “What are you staring at, mister?”
“You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what? What are you talking about?”
“That you’re beautiful.”
He could tell that it caught her off guard, and she looked down at him, her eyes suddenly very serious. “Do you mean that?” she whispered.
“Every word.”
“Show me.”
He reached up and traced her flustered cheeks with his fingers. He thought she was going to cry, but instead she leaned down and kissed him, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her against him and never wanted to let her go.
He was somewhere between asleep and awake when Lara stirred against him. She lay on the cot with her back pressed up against his chest, reminding him that he had never felt more content while surrounded by darkness in his life than he did now, at this moment.
“Can’t sleep?” he whispered softly.
“Did I wake you?”
“I was already awake,” he lied. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
She was lying, he could tell. Her body had stiffened a bit against him, and her breathing was slightly irregular. He had been lying there with her long enough to become used to the soothing patterns of her heartbeat.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Tell me.”
“Nothing,” she said again. “Go back to sleep. You need it. When was the last time you slept?”
“I slept for four hours tonight. And don’t change the subject. I’ll go back to sleep after you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Will, it’s nothing.”
He said, more sternly this time, “Lara, tell me what’s wrong, or I’m just going to keep pestering you until you give in. Trust me, I can do this all night. You’ve already seen my prowess at doing things for a long time.”
He wished he could see her smile, but he didn’t want to untangle himself from her at this very moment. It would break the spell, the connection they shared, both physically and emotionally.
He longed to see her face, though, to read what she was feeling right now so he could say the right words to ease her mind, to make her understand how much he cared. Right now, he was afraid the wrong word would send her racing away from him. He never wanted something more in his life than to know how to reassure her at this very moment.
After a while, she said, “I was thinking how happy I am. Right now. At this moment with you. Even before everything happened, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“But…?”
“I can’t see how this is going to last. And that terrifies me.”
He wrapped his arms tighter around her, hoping to reaffirm his presence. “It might not last. I don’t know. Maybe we should just accept it in the here and now and make the best of it. We know what’s out there and how hard it is. But this, right here, this is good.”
“It’s good,” she echoed, with some confidence in her voice.
“So let’s just embrace it. Who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow.”
She didn’t answer for a moment, but then, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay,” she said again, and he imagined her smiling in the darkness.
He didn’t go right back to sleep. Instead, he lay perfectly still, holding her against him and listening to the soft rhythms of her breathing. After a while she drifted off, and her body relaxed in his arms, her breathing taking on the familiar pattern of REM sleep.
With Lara finally asleep, he stopped fighting and quickly found himself going back in.