“Now,” continued Ilyukhin, “fun and games being over, if you would line up by twos and take one lamp for each two men, then return to your seat.”
After each pair had taken a lamp, Ilyukhin held up one of the lamps for illustration’s sake.
“There are at least four different models of lamps here. Most are Amerikanski. Some are British. Some are either locally or Russian made. A couple, even, are German. They all operate the same way and they all have similar risks. Oh, yes, there are some risks here.
“To begin with, the lamp works by combining water with calcium carbide to produce acetylene gas. The gas escapes out the nozzle of the lamp where it is set afire to produce light, which light is reflected in the shiny silver curved concave plate on front, around the nozzle.”
At the word “gas,” one of the senior noncoms from Second Company, Sergeant Dmitriev, began to look slightly nervous. Dmitriev was a late-caught POW, so had had the chance to be gassed by the Germans. Most of the cadre, having been caught earlier, had not had this experience, hence tended not to think about the fear of gas on the part of those who had, in fact, been gassed.
“Let’s look at the parts of the lamps, shall we?
“In front, as I mentioned, is the reflector. In the middle of the reflector is the nozzle, the place where the acetylene comes out. If you look at the reflector, about halfway between its edge and the nozzle, you will see a rough, serrated wheel. That’s the striker. You can’t see it unless you look at the striker edge on, but there is a round flint under it that is being pushed against it by a spring.
“When the acetylene starts flowing, you can turn the striker to produce a spark to light it afire. In a bit, I’ll show you an old timer’s trick for that that the old man taught me.
“Look on top; you will see three things. One is the water chamber. The other is a cap that keeps the water from splashing out when it’s filled. Go ahead and use your thumbs to open it.
“The last thing on top of the lamp is the control lever. This sets how much water is allowed into the calcium carbide chamber—the chamber below—to produce acetylene. All the way to the left, no water is flowing. All the way to the right, a fair stream is flowing. In between it provides less water than to the left and more than to the right. Make sure, for now, that your levers are all the way to the left.”
As expected, the men didn’t just make sure the levers were all the way left, nor that the water cap could be opened. Instead, they fiddled with both an average half a dozen times each. It was with difficulty that Ilyukhin controlled his exasperation at both the waste of time and the risk to the lamps.
Children; I’m in an army composed of children.
“Now hold the top piece firmly in your left hand and grasp the bottom firmly in your right. Turn the bottom piece to the right until it screws off.”
Ilyukhin waited a bit, then walked around to help out those who were having trouble. To be fair, those having trouble were simply afraid to risk breaking these very unfamiliar lamps.
Returning to “center stage,” the coal miner’s son then said, “Go ahead and put the acetylene chamber down between you. Look now at the back of the lamp, by the water hole. Some of you have thick wire hooks there; others have flat and broad ones. Those, once we have enough to issue to everyone, are going to get forced into the slot of your helmets where the French insignia used to be. This wouldn’t be enough to hold the lamps steady. Look below the hooks. See the thick wire projections coming out from the center?”
Here, Ilyukhin made a tripod from the index, middle, and ring fingers of his right hand. This he placed against the palm of his left. “It takes a tripod, you see, to get stability. Between the hook and the two prongs, a tripod will be formed, resting on and stuck in your helmets; that will keep them in place, and pointing wherever you aim your head.
“Big improvement over those pull toys we’ve been using, no?
“Now, a little warning; these things can leak gas from places where you don’t want them to. If you look around the edge of the calcium carbide chamber you will see a rubber—or maybe in some cases thick leather—gasket. If that is defective, and you don’t get a good seal of the chamber, the gas will escape and catch fire. You can burn the shit out of yourself, trust me, if this happens.
“Also, one nice point. When the water and calcium carbide meet, they create not just acetylene, but heat. When your hands are freezing cold, you can wrap them around the calcium carbide chamber and warm them.”
Ilyukhin picked up a two-pound can of calcium carbide and opened it by prying the lid off. “I am going to pass this around. Each pair of men take about ten little pea-sized pieces and put them into the bottom chamber of your lamps. Do not screw the chambers on yet.”
Ilyukhin waited while the can of calcium carbide made its rounds. Shortly after the first row of students had taken their allocation and put it in the lower chambers, he said, “I’m now going to pass around a bucket of water and a cup. Open up and fill the water chamber of your lamps. Make sure that the control levers are all the way to the left before you do. Close the small round cover tightly as soon as you have filled it.”
That took still more time. Nonetheless, the time came when the pitcher reached the last pair in the back row.
“Now here’s the trick I told you about.” Ilyukhin quickly screwed his chambers together. He then moved the control lever about halfway to full on. “I’ve now got water dripping down into the calcium carbide. Watch my hand.”
He then covered the reflector with the fingers of his left hand, while holding the lamp with his right. “Note that my middle finger is resting on the striker. What is happening is that acetylene is building up in the area my fingers have sealed as it comes from the nozzle. My hand over the reflector is holding it in place. Now when I do this”—here, Ilyukhin pulled his left hand sharply away, dragging his middle finger over the striker, creating a spark that set the accumulated acetylene afire. It quickly devolved into a single bright flame, coming from the nozzle—“we have light.
“Go on and do it now,” he finished.
The men screwed the lamps back together, then turned on the water flow. Sergeant Dmitriev took one sniff of the garlic aroma coming from his own plus the lamps all around him, and screamed, “GAS!!!”
Dropping the lamp before any of them but Ilyukhin’s had been set alight, Dmitriev covered his nose and mouth in the crook of his right arm, stood, and tried to run away. “GAS! GAS! GAS!”
This started a near riot as about half the others, knowing that some forms of blister agent did, indeed, give off a garlic aroma, likewise dropped their lamps and tried to run.
Kostyshakov drew his Amerikanski pistol and fired it into the air. “Freeze, Goddammit. It’s NOT that kind of gas.”
Fuck, thought Ilyukhin, I should have realized.
“It’s harmless gas,” the instructor said. “Yes, maybe it smells like some that are not, but it is. Just relax. Nobody’s trying to poison or burn you. Now, gentlemen, if we may continue…?”
Kostyshakov thought, If the mere threat of being gassed can panic a fine old soldier like Dmitriev, maybe I should reconsider bringing some with us.
Camp Budapest
There’s an old army saying, common to many armies, actually, to the effect that uniforms come in two sizes, too large and too small. This was certainly true of the snow-white camouflage smocks and trousers the Austrians provided to the Germans, with no knowledge that they were to be used for Russians.