“You do?” Delight bloomed on Okaru’s face. “Oh, thank you!” She sprang up and threw her arms around Masahiro.
Masahiro was so surprised that his eyes popped and he choked on his breath. He lost his balance and fell onto the bed, dragging Okaru with him. Exhilaration and rapture filled him as she hugged him and pressed her cheek against his. He felt the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body, and her breasts touching his chest. He wanted to hold Okaru. He strained away from her because he was afraid that if she knew how he felt, she would be upset.
Now her face was wet with tears. Masahiro awkwardly stroked her hair as she cried, trying to comfort her. Its silky strands tangled in his fingers. He couldn’t bear to take pleasure from her that she hadn’t offered, but his desire and excitement leaped even higher than when he’d watched her in the bath chamber.
Her arms loosened their embrace; she drew back. “You remind me of my little brother who died.” She cupped his cheek in her soft hand and smiled mistily.
Desire vanished. Her little brother! That was how Okaru thought of him. Not as a man she could like, or even a friend, but as a child.
Masahiro didn’t have time to feel the worst of his mortification, because he heard his mother’s voice say sharply, “Masahiro! Okaru!”
* * *
Alarmed, Reiko stared at her son and Okaru sprawled on the bed. The girl had her arm around Masahiro and her hand cradling his cheek. Masahiro’s hand was in Okaru’s hair. They turned at the sound of her voice.
“What are you doing?” Reiko asked.
They sprang apart and stood up. Reiko saw Masahiro’s face turn red, and fear in Okaru’s eyes. Suddenly she recalled her conversation with Chiyo. Now she understood: Chiyo had been trying to warn her about what could happen when a boy on the verge of manhood and a beautiful young girl lived under the same roof. Chiyo must have noticed an attraction between Masahiro and Okaru. Reiko belatedly realized what had happened. Okaru had a broken heart and needed comfort; Masahiro was experiencing the sexual desires that boys did. It was natural that they should come together.
Reiko turned on Okaru. “Were you seducing my son?”
“No,” Okaru said in a small, chagrined tone. “It’s not what you think.”
Reiko was shocked, even though she knew that samurai boys began having sex at an early age and it was considered acceptable as long as they confined themselves to women from the lower classes and didn’t ruin girls from good families who were reserved for marriage. Reiko had caught Sano’s young retainers coupling with the maids and politely looked the other way. But Masahiro wasn’t grown up enough for sex!
“Mother,” Masahiro said. The word was half protest, half plea. He looked miserable.
The idea of him with Okaru filled Reiko with aversion, even though she’d prided herself on overlooking class distinctions. She’d taken the girl into her house, and Okaru had blithely helped herself to Reiko’s son! No matter that Okaru was innocent of the attack on Magistrate Ueda, she was dangerous. Inexperienced boys like Masahiro often fell in love with girls like Okaru. The affairs begat jealousies, quarrels, duels between men vying for the same girl, and often babies. Custom forbade such couples to marry, and too often they committed shinju, double love suicide. Reiko saw a new, perilous world opening up for Masahiro. She’d tried so hard to protect him from his father’s political enemies, but she’d not thought to shield his heart.
“Go to your room,” Reiko told him, angry at her own obliviousness, wanting to separate Masahiro from Okaru and shut the door on his new world even though it was too late.
He started to protest, to defend Okaru. Lieutenant Tanuma rushed into the room.
“Where have you been?” Reiko asked Tanuma. “Didn’t I tell you to watch Okaru?” Before he could answer, she said, “Take Masahiro to his room.”
Tanuma and Masahiro slunk out like whipped puppies. Reiko turned to Okaru. The girl knelt on the bed, hands clasped behind her back, like a child caught stealing candy.
“Now,” Reiko said in as level a tone as she could manage. “Explain what you were doing with my son.”
“Nothing,” Okaru said. “I hugged him because he was kind to me. That’s all.”
But Reiko had seen the look on Masahiro’s face while he and Okaru were touching. A hug could easily lead to other things-perhaps things that had already happened when she wasn’t there to see. For the first time she experienced the jealousy of a mother who realized that someday she would no longer be the woman her son loved best.
“You’ll stay away from Masahiro from now on,” Reiko said. “Do you understand?”
Okaru nodded, her complexion gray, lips pressed together as if she feared that if she spoke she would be sick. Her eyes were huge and solemn.
“Good.” Reiko felt a pang of shame for treating the girl so harshly. She remembered why she’d come to see Okaru. “I have news. My husband and I have found out who’s responsible for the attack on my father. It’s not you. You’re exonerated.”
Tears of relief spilled from Okaru’s eyes. She murmured, “Thank the gods. I prayed that I would be proved innocent.” She gazed up at Reiko in sudden apprehension. “Does that mean you’re letting me go?”
Reiko knew she was thinking of the cold night and her lack of a place to stay. “You don’t have to go now.” Reiko wasn’t heartless enough to put the girl out. “Tomorrow I’ll have my husband’s troops escort you and Goza home to Miyako.”
“A thousand thanks. You’re so kind even though you think badly of me. I’m sorry I’ve displeased you.” Okaru smiled nervously. “But … I wish I could stay in Edo and see what happens to Oishi. I can’t help hoping…”
“That he’ll be pardoned and he’ll take you back? I’m afraid I have more news,” Reiko said, unable to resist a little spite. “Oishi has reunited with his wife. If he lives, he’ll be going to her, not you.”
The smile vanished from Okaru’s face, which turned white. Her eyes rolled up, and she fell onto the bed in a dead faint.
* * *
Reiko summoned a doctor to care for Okaru, then went after Masahiro. He was in his room, kneeling at a table on which toy soldiers were set in battle formation. His hands fidgeted atop his knees. He wore an expression she’d never seen before-a mixture of anger, pride, and shame. As Reiko sat beside him, he glanced up at her, then down at the soldiers again. She felt uncomfortable and shy, as if he were a stranger, not her little boy.
“I didn’t know you liked Okaru,” she ventured.
Masahiro scowled. An almost visible barrier loomed between them. Although he’d never had secrets from her, he did now. Reiko was surprised at how much it hurt.
“It’s understandable that you would like her,” Reiko said. “Boys do become interested in girls. And Okaru is very pretty.”
Masahiro picked up a toy soldier and examined it with studied concentration.
“There are some things I must talk to you about,” Reiko said. “When a boy and a girl … get close … well, the girl might have a baby.”
A blush reddened Masahiro’s face. Reiko’s own face felt hot. She’d never talked to him about sex. She’d thought his father would do it later, but it couldn’t be put off. How much did Masahiro already know? He’d seen animals mating and the young born, but Reiko wasn’t sure he was aware that the same process happened with humans.
“When a baby is born and the boy and girl aren’t married, there can be trouble. Especially if they come from different classes, which means they can’t marry. The girl’s family will probably disown her. She’ll have to raise the child herself.”
Men weren’t usually held responsible for their illegitimate children, and their reputations didn’t suffer, but Reiko didn’t want Masahiro casually fathering babies as other samurai youths did. If he did, she would feel bad about the ruined women and abandoned children, even though other ladies of her class pretended not to notice the situation.