I loved the entire Center family but there were times I hated the pressure they put on me to excel and be great. But whenever I think about wanting to be in a pressure free environment, I think of this quote by Peter Marshall, “When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
CHAPTER
8
Momentum Is Promiscuous:
One Day It’s With You, The Next
Day It’s Gone…
“Promiscuous girl, Wherever you are”
“I’m all alone and it’s you that I want”
“Promiscuous Boy, You already know
That I’m all yours, what are you waiting for?”
- Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland- Promiscuous Girl
After a sporting event the head coach of the losing team is often asked about the game and what went wrong. The answer often begins with “we lost the momentum.” It’s a phrase commonly used to describe why things are not going in our favor at a particular time. The way in which we use the phrase makes it seem as if momentum is an object that we can physically touch or feel, such as “we lost the keys.” The truth is that momentum, in the sense in which we are discussing, is a feeling, and if it’s a feeling, that means we have the ability to have it on our side at all times if we so choose. It took me a while to figure out this concept.
I was sitting in church one day when Elder Craig walked up to the microphone and said he was going to teach the congregation how to never have another bad day in their life. I took a personal interest because it seemed as though my luck was running low. Less than four months after I started living with Sister Cash she decided she had enough of Detroit, so she moved back down south to Atlanta. Once again, I was homeless and it was starting to effect my disposition. I was slowly slipping into a depressive state. The elder grabbed the microphone, opened his bible, and read a passage from Proverbs 17:22, which states, “A merry heart does the body good like medicine.” It was simple, but it made sense. That was the reason Bob was so optimistic, he understood the true meaning of the text. He knew that our disposition was related to our destiny in the same way as a steering wheel is related to a car. Your disposition controls the destination of your life and places you in a position to succeed.
Reprogramming My Mind
God knew I needed a better coping mechanism to get me through the mental anguish of being homeless. Being separated from my family and not being able to talk to my mom on a daily basis was enough to break me down mentally. The holidays were the worst. I missed being home with my family and I especially missed grandma Shirley’s cooking. I knew my parents would not mind me coming over for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas, but my pride would not let me humble myself. In my mind, calling somehow was a sign of weakness. In fact, it was that kind of thinking that made me feel like I had to cut them off—especially my mom.
It was luck that brought me to a new environment where I would be exposed to some life changing information. I learned a valuable lesson in that environment: there is power in one’s spirit—the power to empower and the power to suppress. I also learned that I needed to annihilate all negative thinking. When my thoughts were consumed with negativity, the thoughts often became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Bobby McFerrin released a song that I adopted as my mantra, “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” The song had a line about being homeless that proclaimed even under those circumstances, don’t worry, be happy. In short, the song illustrated that worrying would only further complicate the situation.
I spent a great deal of time walking and talking to myself and praying. I used my imagination to control my thoughts about what my life could be like. I sang songs. I may not have been able to carry a note, but through singing I could forget the challenges I had as long as that song was in my heart.
Once I was exposed to a new environment, it didn’t take me long to discover that successful people were not successful because of some superior gene they inherited at birth. It had more to do with their outlook on life and their ability to keep momentum on their side. Through my observation of these people I discovered that I had a much better chance of placing myself in a position to succeed if I had faith. I learned that there are three categories of people when it comes to faith. The first group has no faith whatsoever. They are from Missouri, the show me state. The second group has a measure of faith, but not enough to experience any real outcomes. The last group lives by faith. They don’t have to touch it, taste it, or see any evidence of it to believe they can live an abundant life. They are certain that the future is going to be full of good fortune and as a result, their expectations often become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Apply the ABC’s of success to your life. Ask, Believe, and Claim it. “It doesn’t hurt to Ask; the worst thing they can say is no.” The only place you can go is up from there. I have upgraded to a first class seat from coach without paying any extra money on many occasions simply because I asked. Don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from experiencing next level living. After you ask, you have to Believe you are worthy enough to have whatever it is you’ve asked for. For years I was afraid to ask organizations and schools to pay me for speaking because I didn’t believe my presentation was worthy of receiving compensation for my services, and guess what, they didn’t pay me. When I finally began to believe that my presentations were worthy, the checks began rolling in. Finally, Claim it. According to the dictionary, claim means to demand as a right. In short, to claim something means to expect it long before it happens. I remember the first time I used the power of claiming it and naming it. I was looking to buy my first house and I was told that the neighborhood I wanted to live in was beyond my financial means. I had the real estate agent take me through the homes anyway and when I saw this one particular house, I knew it was mine. My realtor took me to seven other homes within my supposed budget, but I kept thinking of the one I knew belonged to me. So instead of worrying and allowing doubt to consume my thoughts, I went to the grocery store and picked up some empty boxes and started packing as if the house was already mine. A month later my realtor called and said the couple that owned the house was relocating and wanted to accept my offer. The Bible tells us, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Principle 9: Individuals who are able to maintain momentum listen to their intuition.
I can’t put it into words, and I am not sure how I feel about the whole love at first sight concept. All I know is that whenever I was in the same room with her, I couldn’t stop staring at her. It was weird because I didn’t visit the church with the intent of trying to find someone to date. I was going through so much in my life that dating was the last thing on my mind. I was hoping that if I gave it a few weeks the feelings for her would pass, but something in my gut kept telling me I needed to get to know her. She had such a nurturing and caring spirit for someone so young. It took me a long time to introduce myself to her because of her mother. She reminded me of one of those secret service men who work in the White House protecting the President.