“My lord,” she said as she smiled at the man.
He turned to his wife with a wink. “Tabitha, would you like a dance? They’re playing the waltz and I’d like to prove the older generation can perform these new steps with the best of the young ones.”
“I’d love to. Audrey, if you’ll excuse us.”
She smiled as she watched the two enter the dance floor to begin the twists and turns that were the waltz. After so many years together, it was obvious they remained very much in love. A twinge of envy made her turn away, though she was shocked by it. How could she be jealous of a couple that had been together for over thirty years? It was ridiculous.
With a sigh she looked out over the ballroom again. Couples were paired off all around her, huddled in corners, flirting from across the room with fans and winks or spinning across the dance floor in each other’s arms to the strains of the waltz.
The rest of the unpaired masses were in groups. Tittering girls years younger than she stared at the other women with admiration or scorn, and the men with interest or desire. The dandies and the rakes had even moved in together for talk of sport and women. Everyone belonged somewhere.
Everyone but her.
The life she’d chosen with Noah had put her firmly on the outside of this gay little world, just as she had been when she’d run from in it disgrace years before. This time the ton liked her, wanted to be near her, but that was only because of the mask she wore. Without Hannah’s hairstyles and her lavish wardrobe, she had nothing in common with the people around her.
Overwhelmed by her thoughts, she suddenly needed a moment alone. Gathering up her skirt into her fist, she fled around the parameter of the dance floor and through the veranda doors. The air outside greeted her with a breath of freshness, cooling her heated brow and making her feel less stifled and uncomfortable.
What was wrong with her? She had a job to do, yet she was mooning about on the veranda, looking out on the massive garden while she felt sorry for herself. She had no reason to be so maudlin. To be so… lonely. But she was.
And tired.
Tired to running from country to country. Tired of being alone every night. And tired of knowing men wanted to be near her only for the inheritance she could give, and that she only wanted to be near them for the secrets they could share. Her entire life was a fraud.
“Audrey?”
Turning slowly, she faced the voice and gave a soft smile. What she wanted stood feet away from her, outlined in the light of the ballroom. She wanted Griffin Berenger, still. Always. Forever.
“Audrey?” he repeated as he shut the door behind him softly and took a few steps toward her. “What’s wrong? Did my mother say something to upset you?”
She motioned to the other side of the veranda where fewer people stood. “No. Your mother was a dream, as always. I just felt… felt…”
“Stifled in there?” He held out a glass of champagne.
She accepted with a smile and a nod, happy he’d voiced what she felt. “Yes, exactly.”
He leaned lazily against the low stone wall to look out across the maze of gardens below them.
“I’ve always felt the same way.” A frown darkened his face. “Luci lived for these events, but I was happy to stay away. I still cringe at being surrounded by all these people.”
“That must have been very frustrating for you.”
She moved a bit closer to him. Her hand stirred at her side as the breeze blew his dark blond hair into his eyes, but he brushed it aside before she could touch him.
“Yes. I went with her, of course. At first, at least,” he added with a frown.
Audrey took a deep breath. This was her chance to ask all the questions she had wanted to about Luci. About the rumors and innuendos that crackled in the air whenever anyone spoke about her.
“Please tell me more about…” she began, watching through foggy eyes as he moved a fraction closer to her. She could almost feel his heat, and could definitely smell the spicy scent of his skin.
“Here we are again.”
Griffin moved first, turning to face Douglas Ellison as she jumped a foot away.
“Ellison,” he said with a false smile.
“This is becoming a habit, isn’t it?” Ellison asked, his tone colder than an icehouse as he looked past Griffin to her. “My interrupting the two of you.”
She stepped forward and held out both her hands. “Douglas, you misunderstand my friendship with Lord Berenger. Please don’t allow your jealousy…”
“I would like a moment alone with Lady Audrey if you don’t mind, Berenger.” The thin man glared at Griffin as if daring him to refuse.
Griffin opened his mouth to speak and Audrey’s heart lodged in her throat. If he said anything to imply she wasn’t safe with Ellison, it could tip the man off to what she really was.
For a long moment, Griffin said and did nothing, just stared at her. Then he bowed to Ellison and said, “As you wish.”
Turning on his heel, he strode back into the ballroom, his gate clipped and purposeful. Audrey could guess he was planning to find Noah and felt a bit safer with the knowledge.
Focusing on matters at hand, she moved closer to the man who had interrupted her moment with Griffin. Looking up into his gray eyes, she felt nothing but contempt, but refused to let him sense her distaste.
“Your jealousy is quite sweet, but misplaced.”
“Really, Audrey?” Ellison’s anger was evident in everything about him, from his cold tone of voice to the way he held himself. “If that’s true than why do I catch you looking so deeply into his eyes? Why do I find him watching your every move whenever you’re in a room with him?”
Torn between stoking Ellison’s jealousy and keeping Griffin safe, Audrey pondered what she should say. Finally she shook her head with a sadness she didn’t feel.
“Lord Berenger is an old friend,” she explained, biting her lip before continuing. “He’s gone through a terrible trial, losing his wife, and I want to comfort him. Perhaps he has misconstrued that friendship, but I tell you, you have nothing to fear.”
Ellison took in a shallow breath as he stepped closer, invading her personal space and making her uncomfortably warm. “Why is that?”
She swallowed hard, then looked up into his eyes with what she hoped was an adoring stare. “Douglas, you must know there is only one man who has captured my heart this Season.”
Well, at least it was the truth. If Ellison believed she was talking about him, so be it. Only she had to know Griffin Berenger was the one she loved, and would always love.
“If that’s true, prove it to me,” he whispered, putting his arm around her waist with the slowness of a snake encompassing around its victim. “Kiss me as I kissed you in the carriage.”
“I…” she stammered, unsure if she could press her mouth against his one more time. “I have my reputation to think of.”
“Nonsense.” He inched her ever closer to him with tiny tugs on her waist. “You and I have been courting publicly. And this is a private area where no one is watching. Besides, Audrey, it isn’t as if you haven’t been caught in such a situation before.”
She froze at those words. He couldn’t be referring to what had happened to her on a similar veranda all those years ago. There had been general rumors about her thanks to Luci, but no one had ever known about the man on the veranda except for her mother and Griffin’s wife. Luci had, at least, kept that promise.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t think I know about your past?” he asked, his lips moving closer to her ear. “I must be careful who I associate with as I move my way up in Society. I had you investigated by certain people in my employ. But don’t worry, Audrey.”