We trudged on. We did not speak of Lynx but each knew that the other thought of him exclusively, and that our failure to mention him was deliberate.
Never shall I forget the last hour of that walk. and finally discovering the land untouched by fire. There stood the house, impregnable, as though defying destruction to come near.
Stirling gave a shout when we saw it. He started to run pulling me with him.
“Home!” he cried.
“We’re home.”
Adelaide came running out of the house. She was crying with relief.
She took us into her arms and would not let us go. I noticed, as one does on such occasions, how the smoke and grime blackened her gown.
“The master must be told!” she cried.
“Jenny! Mary! They are here.
They are home. “
We stumbled into the house.
“He … is safe,” said Stirling.
“But nearly demented,” replied Adelaide.
“He has been searching for you. He has called in everyone.”
“Look after Nora,” said Stirling.
“He’s safe?” I murmured.
“He’s truly safe?”
They had put me to bed by the time he came. Only when I was between the cool sheets did I realize how exhausted I was. I lay luxuriating in my bed, having drunk the broth which Adelaide had brought.
“Not too much at first,” she had said. And I lay there thinking of the heat and terror of the dark cave, and Stirling’s saying that he would look after me for ever. Lynx was safe. There would be the three of us.
I knew that he was in the house. One sensed his presence. I knew too that he would come to me first . even before he went to Stirling.
Oh no, surely not. Stirling was his beloved son. I was only the adopted daughter.
He was at the door, his eyes shining with the greatest joy I ever saw in any eyes. Why was everything he did so much more intense than what others did?
“Nora,” he said.
“My Nora.”
Then he came to the bedside and held me in his arms. He put his face dose to mine.
“My girl Nora,” he kept saying. I said: “I’m back. Lynx.
Dear, dearest Lynx, we’re back together. “
For a few moments he did not speak. He just held me.
Then he said: “I thought I’d lost you. I was mad with fury. But you’re back. My girl Nora.”
“I was terrified of what might be happening to you.”
He laughed loud and confident. As if anything could happen to him!
“All the time,” I told him, ‘we thought of you, we talked to you. “
He laughed again and all he said was: “My girl Nora!”
Later he went to see Stirling.
Six
We recovered quickly from the shock of our experience. I think the fact that we came back to the house and found it untouched and the family safe made us so happy that we threw off the ill effects of our terrifying adventure with the greatest possible speed.
The damage had been tremendous. The property had suffered most; many sheep had been lost and two of the shepherds had died in their cottages. The mine had escaped.
Adelaide insisted that I stay in bed for two days. I was cosseted and fed with special invalid’s food which she said was necessary. Stirling refused to be treated like an invalid; but I enjoyed it.
Jessica came to see me. She sat by my bed looking intently at me.
“I’ve never seen him so affected as he was,” she said.
“He sent parties out looking for you, risking their lives.”
I smiled happily. I just wanted to lie and think about the future.
When I was up he asked me to come to his library after dinner.
“A game of chess,” I said, remembering that during those hours of semi-consciousness in the cave I had imagined myself in his study, the chessmen between us.
He did not join us for dinner and when I went up he was waiting for me. He looked excited and yet restrained; and different from when I had seen him last.
“You are a little pale, Nora,” he said.
“But you’ll recover in a few days’ time. You’re young and healthy and resilient.”
He poured out two glasses of port wine and brought them over to me. I noticed the eyes of the lynx on his finger glitter as he handed me one.
“To us, Nora. Your safe delivery to me. What should I have done if you had not come back?”
“We have Stirling to thank. Stirling is wonderful.”
“Stirling is wonderful,” he repeated.
I started to talk about the cave, although he had heard it all before.
I had suddenly become nervous and felt the need to go on talking.
“My dear,” he said, ‘you are back, and you have made me the happiest of men when I should have been the most wretched. “
My hands had started to tremble which, I told myself, was due to the recent shock. But it was not that. A sudden idea had come to me but I would not accept it.
He took my glass from me.
“You’re not afraid, Nora. It’s not like you to be afraid.”
“Of what should I be afraid?” I demanded .
“There speaks my girl Nora. You have nothing to fear ever because I shall be here to look after you. “
“That’s a comforting thought,” I said, with a touch of my old lightness.
“Then be comforted, my dearest. I believe you know what has been in my mind for some time. You have been aware of the change you have wrought in me.”
I!”
“You have brought my youth back to me. After all, I am not an old man.
Do I appear old to you? “
“To me you have always appeared to be immortal. Even before I knew you Stirling spoke of you as though you were Zeus.”
He smiled, but he did not wish to discuss Stirling.
“You are old for your years, my dear,” he said.
“You are no foolish child. Nor were you ever. You had to fend for yourself and I’m glad of it. I never thought this would happen to me. Yes indeed, you have given me back my youth, Nora.”
“How?”
“By being yourself. By coming here among us and showing me that my life lies before me … not behind me.”
“I’m glad of that. So you have dropped this stupid notion of revenge.”
He laughed again. He was laughing a good deal tonight.
“You bully me, Nora. You always did. You must go on doing so when we are married. I like it, my darling.”
“When I am married to—’ In that second I had told myself I had not heard him correctly. He meant when Stirling and I were married; but in my heart I knew that he was not thinking of Stirling.
“To me,” he said.
“You don’t think I’d let you go to anyone else?”
There was a fierceness in his eyes which both frightened and delighted me. As ever in his presence I was unsure of my feelings for him.
He gripped me by the shoulders and drew me towards him.
“Never again, my love, will you wander off into a forest fire. I have you back, and I’ll keep you with me for as long as we both shall live.”
“Lynx!” I stammered and he gripped me more tightly.
“That ridiculous name!” he said.
“But I always think of you as Lynx,” I said foolishly, as though that mattered when there was so much of importance to think and talk about.
“A predatory animal,” he said.
“It fits. Oh God, Nora, I thought I’d die when you didn’t come back. I was fit to throw myself into that raging furnace, and it was only the certain knowledge within me that you’d come back that restrained me. I need you, Nora, as I have never needed anyone. I see that now. What’s wrong, my dear? “
“Marriage,” I said.
“I hadn’t thought of marriage.”