Hildegrin made her sit in the stern with me nonetheless. “Now this,” he said as he pushed us off, “this is something you’re not likely to forget if you’ve never done it before. Crossin’ the Lake of Birds here in the middle of the Garden of Everlastin’ Sleep.” His oars dipping into the water made a dull and somehow melancholy sound.
I asked why it was called the Lake of Birds.
“Because so many’s found dead in the water, is what some say. But it might only be that that’s because there’s so many here. There’s a great deal said against Death. I mean by the people that has to die, drawin’ her picture like a crone with a sack, and all that. But she’s a good friend to birds, Death is. Wherever there’s dead men and quiet, you’ll find a good many birds, that’s been my experience.”
Recalling how the thrushes sang in our necropolis, I nodded. “Now if you’ll look past my shoulder, you’ll have a clear view of the shore ahead of us and be able to see a lot of things you couldn’t before, because of the rushes growin’ all around you back there. You’ll notice, if it’s not too misty, that the land rises farther on. The bogginess stops there, and the trees begin. Can you see ‘em?”
I nodded again, and beside me Dorcas nodded as well. “That’s because this whole peep show is meant to look like the mouth of a dead volcaner. The mouth of a dead man is what some say, but that’s not really so. If it was, they’d of put in teeth. You’ll remember, though, that when you come in here you come up through a pipe in the ground.”
Once more, Dorcas and I nodded together. Though Agia was no more than two strides from us, she was nearly out of sight behind Hildegrin’s broad shoulders and fearnought coat.
“Over there,” he continued, jerking his square chin to show the direction, “you ought to be able to see a spot of black. Just about halfway up, it is, between the bog and the rim. Some sees it and thinks it’s where they come out of, but that’s behind you and lower down, and a whole lot smaller. This that you see now is the Cave of the Cumaean—the woman that knows the future and the past and everything else. There’s some that say this whole place was built only for her, though I don’t believe it.”
Softly, Dorcas asked, “How could that be?” and Hildegrin misunderstood her, or at least pretended to do so.
“The Autarch wants her here, so they say, so he can come and talk without travelin’ to the other side of the world. I wouldn’t know about that, but sometimes I see somebody walkin’ around up there, and metal or maybe a jewel or two flashin’. Who it is I wouldn’t know, and since I don’t want to know my future—and I know my past, I should think, better than her—I don’t go near the cave. People come sometimes hopin’ to know when they’ll be married, or about success in trade. But I’ve observed they don’t often come back.” We had nearly reached the center of the lake. The Garden of Endless Sleep rose around us like the sides of a vast bowl, mossy with pines toward the lip, scummed with rushes and sedge below. I was still very cold, more so because of the inactivity of sitting in the boat while another rowed; I was beginning to worry about what the immersion in water might do to the blade of Terminus Est if I did not dry and oil it soon, yet even so, the spell of the place held me. (A spell there was, surely, in this garden. I could almost hear it humming over the water, voices chanting in a Ianguage I did not know but understood.) I think it held everyone, even Hildegrin, even Agia. For some time we rowed in silence; I saw geese, alive and content for all I could tell, bobbing a long way off; and once, like something in a dream, the nearly human face of a manatee looking into my own through a few spans of brownish water.
24. THE FLOWER OF DISSOLUTION
Beside me, Dorcas plucked a water hyacinth and put it in her hair. Except for the vague spot of white on the bank some distance ahead, it was the first flower I had seen in the Garden of Endless Sleep; I looked for others, but saw none. Is it possible the flower came into being only because Dorcas reached for it? In daylight moments, I know as well as the next that such things are impossible; but I am writing by night, and then, when I sat in that boat with the hyacinth less than a cubit from my eyes, I wondered at the dim light and recalled Hildegrin’s remark of a moment before, a remark that implied (though quite possibly he did not know it) that the seeress’s cave, and thus this garden, was on the opposite side of the world. There, as Master Malrubius had taught us long ago, all was reversed: warmth to the south, cold to the north; light at night, dark by day; snow in summer. The chill I felt would be appropriate then, for it would be summer soon, with sleet riding the wind; the darkness that stood even between my eyes and the blue flowers of the water hyacinth would be appropriate then too, for it would soon be night, with light already in the sky. The Increate maintains all things in order surely; and the theologicans say light is his shadow. Must it not be then that in darkness order grows ever less, flowers leaping from nothingness into a girl’s fingers just as by light in spring they leap from mere filthiness into the air? Perhaps when night closes our eyes there is less order than we believe. Perhaps, indeed, it is this lack of order we perceive as darkness, a randomization of the waves of energy (like a sea), the fields of energy (like a farm) that appear to our deluded eyes—set by light in an order of which they themselves are incapable—to be the real world.
Mist was rising from the water, reminding me first of the swirling motes of straw in the insubstantial cathedral of the Pelerines, then of steam from the soup kettle when Brother Cook carried it into the refectory on a winter afternoon. The witches were said to stir such kettles; but I had never seen one, though their tower stood hardly a chain from ours. I remembered that we rowed across the crater of a volcano. Might it not have been the Cumaean’s kettle? Urth’s fires were long dead, as Master Malrubius had taught us; it was more than possible that they had cooled long before men had risen from the position of the beasts to cumber her face with their cities. But witches, it was said, raised the dead. Might not the Cumaean raise the dead fires to boil her pot? I dipped my fingers into the water; it was as cold as snow.
Hildegrin leaned toward me as he rowed, then drew away as he pulled his oars. “Goin’ to your death,” he said. “That’s what you’re thinkin’. I can see it in your face. To the Sanguin’ry Field, and he’ll kill you, whoever he is.”
“Are you?” Dorcas asked, and gripped my hand.
When I did not answer, Hildegrin nodded for me. “Don’t have to, you know.
There’s them that doesn’t follow the rules, and yet runs free.”
“You’re mistaken,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking about monomachy—or dying either.”
In my ear, too softly, I think, even for Hildegrin to hear, Dorcas said, “Yes, you were. Your face was full of beauty, of a kind of nobility. When the world is horrible, then thoughts are high, full of grace and greatness.” I looked at her, thinking she was mocking me, but she was not, “The world is filled half with evil and half with good. We can tilt it forward so that more good runs into our minds, or back, so that more runs into this.” A movement of her eyes took in all the lake. “But the quantities are the same, we change only their proportion here or there.”
“I would tilt it as far back as I can, until at last the evil runs out altogether,” I said.
“It might be the good that would run out. But I am like you; I would bend time backward if I could.”
“Nor do I believe that beautiful thoughts—or wise ones—are engendered by external troubles.”
“I did not say beautiful thoughts, but thoughts of grace and greatness, though I suppose that is a kind of beauty. Let me show you.” She lifted my hand and slipping it inside her rags pressed it to her right breast. I could feel the nipple, as firm as a cherry, and the warmth of the gentle mound beneath it, delicate, feather-soft and alive with racing blood. “Now,” she said, “what are your thoughts? If I have made the external world sweet to you, aren’t they less than they were?”