Of course the sensible thing would be to ask Clíona what they were looking for. Only sense doesn’t come into it when all the parties involved have been refusing even to acknowledge each other for more than half a century. I’d have asked her myself if not for the fact I was ‘an abominable stain on her royal sidhe bloodline’ and she was determined to be rid of me. That she hadn’t succeeded in killing me off yet was due in no small part to Tavish. Something else I owed him for.
I frowned at him. ‘Thought you said you’d had some foretelling that if I helped search I could screw things up; that the fae’s fertility could end up trapped or lost permanently, and if that happened the curse would never be broken?’
‘Aye, I did.’
‘What’s changed then?’ I asked.
‘Nae a thing, doll.’
‘So why now?’
‘We’re running out of ideas.’ Frustration turned his beads black.
‘So you’re prepared to risk me helping, even though it could all go wrong?’
‘Aye, but only in a small way. One I dinna think will cause any harm.’
I took a swig of water as dread settled like iron chains over my shoulders. I didn’t want to get sucked back into it all again. But if I was honest, the fae’s fertility problems weren’t something I could or even should turn my back on. It was my family who’d started the whole ‘stolen fertility’ ball rolling, way back when. And I wasn’t the one hurting in all this. The fae were. And as Tavish said, I was the key. If he needed my help, however small—
‘Okay,’ I told him briskly. ‘What do you want me to do?’
Chapter Three
‘Nae much, doll,’ Tavish said, the relief flooding his eyes making me glad I’d said yes. ‘Just give me some honest answers.’
It sounded too easy. ‘Sure. When do you want to talk?’
‘Now, of course.’
I looked at the ginger tom sitting on the desk, and at all the other cats in the cluttered room; sleeping, washing, or watching us like we were a play put on for their amusement. ‘What about the gnome?’
‘Och, he’s nae thinking of interrupting you. I’ve seen to that.’
I sent out my own Spidey senses . . . the gnome’s presence, from the direction of the kitchen, pinged against my inner radar. He was fast asleep, no doubt Tavish-induced. Plus, with the Privacy spell in operation, it wasn’t like the gnome would be an issue even if he did wake up. And now Tavish had made the decision to ask for my help, I could see he was impatient to get on with it.
‘Fire away, then,’ I said.
‘’Twill be better with Compulsion?’ He gave me a cautious look. ‘If you agree?’
He’d asked, which made all the difference. I nodded and held my hand out. He traced a finger along my lifeline, the greyness in his eyes bleeding away until they were silver, shimmering with intensity. ‘So, doll, who or what is it you want?’
The Compulsion pricked me and my mouth answered without hesitation. ‘Spellcrackers. I want to keep it.’
Surprise stung me. Spellcrackers was my company now. Sort of. My boss stint was temporary and I was going to have to give it up. Something I’d thought I was okay with. Until now.
‘So, you’re wanting to stay the boss of Spellcrackers’ – he gave me a probing look – ‘where’s that leave Finn?’
Finn.
My friend. My ex-boss. My—
Bone-deep hurt and angry disillusionment threatened to explode out of me. I shoved it back down, slammed it back in its box. I didn’t know what else Finn was.
Three months ago I thought I did. I thought, along with being friends and working together, we were finally going to be more to each other. We’d been heading that way ever since we’d met, more than a year ago, despite everything keeping us apart.
Then I’d found the fae’s stolen fertility.
And we should’ve had our chance.
But Finn’s teenage daughter, Nicky, was one of the victims of the ToLA case, an awful consequence of which was that she was pregnant. Finn had, of course, gone with Nicky to the Fair Lands to be with her until her baby was safely born.
He’d asked me to go with him. I’d reluctantly said no.
Part of me, the part that wanted Finn and damn everything else, had desperately regretted that no. But I knew it had been the right thing to do. He needed to be there for Nicky without me. We needed that breathing space. And after all Finn’s declarations about not wanting me just for my curse-breaking abilities, that my vamp genes didn’t matter despite him hating vamps with a vengeance, I needed to be sure he’d wanted me for me. Without that time apart, a tiny bit of me would always wonder if Finn and I were really meant to be.
Now I knew.
Two letters, then nothing. No messages, no excuses, just nothing— He’d cut me off. Something that had sliced my heart into tiny pieces. And, now I’d stuck it back together, Finn was someone I’d promised myself not to even think about, let alone waste any more tears over . . .
A quiet warning snort from Tavish made me look down.
I loosened my grip on the half-full plastic bottle I’d almost crushed. It popped back into shape with a sharp cracking sound. My mouth twisted down as I tried to give him a wry smile. I took a breath and locked my hurt, anger and all thoughts of a certain fickle satyr away.
‘You know I haven’t heard from him,’ I said, my tone flat.
Tavish’s expression sharpened. ‘So, when he returns, you’ll be giving Spellcrackers back?’
I didn’t want to, but— ‘Of course, it belongs to him and the satyr herd.’
‘I ken the herd elders are already asking for it. You nae think of just giving it up?’
The herd elders weren’t so much asking as demanding I do exactly that.
Their point: it was their money invested in the company and they’d only signed it over to me as a sweetener to get me to make little curse-breaking baby satyrs with Finn. Now their fertility was found, albeit still trapped, I wasn’t needed, and they wanted their investment back. Immediately. Only my gut told me that if I gave Spellcrackers up now Finn would lose out too. So I’d give Spellcrackers back to him, and only him. What he did then was his choice. I might be hurt and angry, and hugely pissed off at his fickleness but that didn’t mean I was ready to stitch him up. Or that I was stupid.
I picked at the broken tab on my water bottle. ‘It’s pretty convenient that Finn stops communicating right at the time the herd starts putting pressure on me.’
‘Aye. That it is.’
Good to know I wasn’t the only one with suspicions. Not that my suspicions meant the cut-me-off-without-an-explanation satyr’s silence was forgivable.
‘But is being the boss at Spellcrackers truly what your heart wants above all else, doll?’
Tavish’s quiet question diverted my thoughts back to the matter at hand. Spellcrackers was just a company, after all; and yeah, financially I needed to work, preferably doing something I loved and was good at, but it wasn’t like I wouldn’t have my old job back when I gave up the reins . . . except I wouldn’t be the one calling the shots any more. That, I realised, was what I truly wanted.
‘No, not Spellcrackers as such,’ I clarified. ‘But what it represents. I want to be the one in control of my life. No other people making decisions for me or thinking they can force me into doing what they want.’ Which really, after everything, wasn’t so much of a surprise. ‘I want to make my own choices, on my own terms.’