“Max!” 99 suddenly shouted. “We’re saved! Look! Coming this way! A ship, Max!”
“99. . did anyone ever tell you. . that you have a very sick sense of humor?” Max asked.
“Max, it is! It’s a ship! It’s a ship!”
“99, you have a very sick sense of humor.”
“Max, look! Look, please!”
Max raised his head and peered out across the desert. “I apologize, 99,” he said drearily. “You’re right. I see it, too. It is a ship. It’s a four-masted sailing ship. A whaler, I believe. It’s probably on a whaling expedition. Whale blubber brings a very good price, I’m told.”
99 looked at him puzzledly. “Max, you’re not very excited. I don’t understand-we’re saved!”
“99, think about it a minute. So far, how many whales have you seen out here on the desert? You could probably count them on the fingers of one elbow. Now-keeping that in mind-ask yourself: What would a whaling ship be doing out in the middle of the Sahara Desert?”
“Max, I don’t care what it’s doing out here,” 99 said. “Maybe it’s off course. The important thing is, it’s here! I see it! You see it!”
“We’re seeing a mirage, 99. A mirage is an hallucination. It’s a figment of the imagination. It doesn’t exist. It’s a trick of the mind.”
“I know what a mirage is, Max. But that ship is real.”
“A ship sails on water, 99. This is sand we’re standing on.”
“Max, that ship is on wheels.”
“You have a very sick sense of mirages, 99.”
“It’s on wheels, and there’s a whole long string of automobiles following it.”
“You have a very sick and crowded sense of mirages, 99.”
“Max! Someone’s waving to us from the deck!”
“Wave back, 99. Let’s not let the fact that we’re dying out here in the middle of the desert make us forget our manners.”
“Max, the ship is almost here! There’s a man on the deck. He’s wearing knickers and a Hawaiian shirt and sun glasses and a pith helmet.”
“Sick, sick, sick, 99.”
“Max, the whole caravan is stopping-the ship and the cars. The man is being lowered in a longboat. The longboat is resting on the sand now, Max. The man is getting out. He’s heading this way, Max!”
“Ask him how he’s fixed for ice cream sodas,” Max muttered.
“Max! He’s here!”
Max raised his eyes. Standing before him was a small, dumpy man who was wearing sandals, knickers, a Hawaiian shirt, dark glasses and a pith helmet. “99, you’re mirage is straight out of Hollywood,” Max said.
“Greetings, natives,” the man smiled. “I’m Max von Sydesheau, straight out of Hollywood. I’m shooting a picture out here. Moby Dick. I could use you two as extras. Either one of you had any experience ducking a harpoon?”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Now, wait a minute,” Max said, staring narrow-eyed at the man. “Are you for real? Do you expect us to believe that you’re actually a motion picture director? That you’re making a movie of Moby Dick? Where’s your whale?”
“In the trunk of one of the cars,” Max von Sydesheau replied. “It’s inflatable. That means that if you blow air into it-”
“I know what inflatable means,” Max broke in. “But it still doesn’t make sense. Why would you bring a ship-”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Just a second, 99,” Max said. “There’s something very fishy about this.”
“It’s in the trunk of one of the cars,” von Sydesheau said. “It’s inflatable. You-”
“Don’t change the subject,” Max snapped. “Why would you bring a ship way out here into the middle of the desert to shoot a sea picture? Why not film it on the ocean?”
“My ship leaks,” von Sydesheau replied. “I’m working on a very tight budget.”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Well, now it’s beginning to make a little sense,” Max said grudgingly. “But, I’m sorry, we’re not available as extras. You see, we’re a couple of secret agents, and we’re on duty.”
Von Sydesheau nodded. “Spying on the sand-I got it.”
“No, no, we got caught in a sand storm and we’re lost,” Max said. “If you could just help us get back to civilization, we’d-”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“-appreciate it a great deal,” Max continued. “We have to report in to headquarters.”
“Of course. You can go back when we go,” von Sydesheau said.
“Uh. . about how long will that be?”
“Well, let’s see. . we start shooting in the morning. If we’re lucky, and we don’t get a blowout in the whale, in about six months, give or take a month.”
“Well. . since our mission is somewhat of a bust, I guess there’s no hurry to get back,” Max decided. “All we’ll get is a bawling out, anyway.”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
Max looked at her, then turned back to von Sydesheau. “I wonder if my friend and I could get a drink of water?” he said.
“Well. . we expect to be out here quite a while, so we’re trying to conserve our water,” von Sydesheau replied. “Would you settle for an ice cream soda?”
Von Sydesheau took Max and 99 aboard the ship. They quenched their thirst, then followed the director about as he oversaw the setting up of the scenery-large canvases on which were painted views of an ocean.
Suddenly, 99 pulled at Max’s sleeve. “Max. . over there. . look. . Doesn’t that short, dumpy man look familiar?”
Max looked. “Which one, 99?”
“Now that you mention it, both of them. Max! That’s-”
“Von BOOM and Abdul!”
“Yes!”
Max and 99 rushed over to the two men. Abdul was still wearing his burnoose. But von BOOM was now dressed in the uniform of a ship’s captain.
“Von BOOM!” Max cried. “You’re safe!”
“I’m safe, too,” Abdul said.
Von BOOM touched a finger to his lips. “Shhh-shh-shhh!” He motioned to Max and 99 and drew them aside, behind a tent. “Don’t give me away,” he said.
“Give you away?”
“Von Sydesheau doesn’t know I’m a scientist,” von BOOM explained. “He thinks I’m a native. He gave me the starring part in his picture. He says I’m a natural. I’m playing the title role-Moby Dick.”
“Von BOOM, the leading role is the part of Captain Ahab,” Max said. “Moby Dick is the whale.”
“Shhh! Don’t tell von Sydesheau!”
“You mean he’s shooting the picture and he doesn’t- This is ridiculous! Professor, you’re not an actor. And, besides, you have a duty to your country. You’re supposed to be getting the bugs out of your lightweight rocket fuel.”
“I say, leave it alone, maybe they’ll drown,” von BOOM said.
“But you’re a scientist!”
“That was yesterday,” von BOOM replied. “Today, I’m a Star.”
Max sighed gloomily. “How did you get here, anyway?” he said.
“I was looking for 99’s shoulders, and I guess I got lost,” von BOOM replied. “Then, when the storm died down, we-”
“We?”
“I was on his shoulders,” Abdul said. “But I’m safe now.”
“We saw this ship sailing toward us,” von BOOM went on. “I waved my arms and yelled Help! Help! Help!”
“I just sat there,” Abdul said. “I thought it was a mirage.”
“To make a long story short, the ship sailed up to us,” von BOOM continued, “and von Sydesheau offered me the part in his picture. He liked the way I yelled. In the picture, my big line is: ‘Thar she Blows!’ ” He started to wander away.
Max grabbed him and led him back. “Try not to use that word ‘line,’ ” he said.
Von BOOM started to wander away again.
Once more, Max retrieved him. “And I won’t use it, either,” he said. “Now, look, Professor-think what you’re doing. You studied for years to become a scientist. You worked hard to reach the top in your profession. All that work and study must have meant something to you. Why did you do it?”
“Because nobody ever offered to make me a Star before,” von BOOM replied.
“Let me talk to him,” Abdul said.
“I would appreciate that,” Max replied gratefully.
Abdul addressed von BOOM. “Don’t listen to this bum,” he said, indicating Max. “You don’t have to. You’re a Star. Say the word, and I’ll have him tossed off the set.”